


The Boss And A Assistant Little Dirty Secret

by knightryezal



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare, malec fandom
Genre: Bottom Magnus Bane, Dom/sub, F/M, M/M, Top Alec Lightwood
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 09:42:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 22
Words: 53,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24468916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knightryezal/pseuds/knightryezal
Summary: A ruthless CEO of a big companyA Asian student who living in London confused about his sexuality. They have nothing in common.The burning attraction between them makes absolutely no sense.When Magnus decided to spend the summer in the Boston  to get away from his dominant family, the last thing he expected was to end up falling in love with a man who should displease him, but he is not.Alexander Lightwood is the most arrogant and bossy man Magnus has ever known. He drives Magnus completely crazy.Although Magnus was warned that Alexander is playing a dirty game, he is caught between his friends family and a man he shouldn't want.Who will you choose when your heart and mind tell you two different things?
Relationships: Jem Carstairs/Tessa Gray, Luke Garroway/Maryse Lightwood, Lydia Branwell/Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane & Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Valentine Morgenstern/Jace Wayland
Comments: 144
Kudos: 435





	1. Magnus Pov

Magnus Bane was not having a good day.

His flight to Boston had been late, then someone stole his wallet, with Magnus' credit card, passport, and all his cash, and now the guy who was supposed to pick him up was also late.

Magnus looked at his phone for what seemed like the hundredth time and frowned, looking around the crowded Boston airport. His brother had assured him that his American friend would pick him up, but an hour had passed since his arrival and the guy was still nowhere to be seen.

Simply brilliant.

Strictly speaking, it wasn't like he had to be picked up, he was twenty years old, he wasn't a boy, but fighting his dominant older brother in this was more of a problem than it was worth. As the youngest son in his large family, Magnus had long ago learned when to choose his battles and when to save his energies. 

Ragnor had always been overprotective with him. He thought Magnus was more of a son than a brother. It was probably inevitable, considering his significant age difference and the fact that ragnor had practically raised him since Magnus had been adopted. It goes without saying that ragnor did not approve of his decision to spend the summer abroad alone and insisted that Magnus stay at his friend's house. At least he hadn't directly forbidden he to go. He could have, since Magnus was a bankrupt student who was financially dependent on his older brother.

Magnus was a little embarrassed that he was still a baby, but he had mostly made peace with it. He had tried to be independent before, when he moved out of ragnor house at seventeen, but he hadn't expected how difficult it would be to be alone. London was expensive and he had ended up sharing a small room with two other boys from his class. It had certainly been a learning experience: I had learned that pride was sometimes stupid and useless. He had been embarrassed but relieved to return to ragnor house. Since then, he had not revealed hiself again, accepting ragnor financial support until such time that he could be independent without skipping meals to pay the rent.

But still, having to rely on ragnor financial support for his travels as he tried to discover himself made Magnus feel a bit awkward. So he had agreed to stay at ragnor best friend's house in baston: he didn't want ragnor to pay for his hotels too.

His phone lit up in he hand.

"Jem Carstairs "said the caller ID.

Relieved, Magnus replied.

"Hello," he said, a little awkward. He and Jem didn't know each other that well. Jem had been invited to dinner at his house when he had been in London last summer, but with Magnus's large family, they had barely spoken to each other. "Thanks for coming to pick me up. I'm in the terminal ..."

"Actually," Jem interrupted him. I'm really sorry, but I can't pick you up. You have no idea how sorry I am, but you won't be able to stay at our house either.

Magnus blinked, lost.

—Oh. That's ... "Okay, I wanted to say, but it wasn't really okay." He was in an unknown city, in a different country, without money, without a credit card and without a passport.

"My fiancé's parents had a serious accident yesterday in Brazil ," Jem said, his voice apologetic but distracted."We are already in Rio. We should have left you a key, but we left in such a hurry that I forgot your arrival."

"Oh," said Magnus, frowning. "They are fine?"

"Not really," Jem replied, his voice dark and tired. "My fiance is a mess right now, and it has been… ”He sighed. "Anyway, look, I'm really sorry about this."

" I already asked our friends to pick you up and meet you until our return ..."

"You didn't have to," said Magnus, wincing. It was one thing to stay in the shoes of a relative of a family friend (Jem's cousin Castiel was an old family friend), but it was completely different to depend on strangers he didn't know at all.

" I don't want to be a nuisance."say magnus

"You won't be," Jem said. "You will stay at Morgenstrern Manor. It has thirty rooms. Your presence there won't make a difference, kid."

"I'm not a boy," Magnus said without much heat.

"The Morgenstern will send someone to pick you up soon."Jem sounded distracted again. "Well I have to go. Call me if you need anything."

"Thanks," said Magnus, but Jem had already finished the call.

He grimaced, he really hated being an inconvenience to someone he barely knew. Magnus looked at his phone and wrote Ragnor a message saying that everything was fine. There was no way in hell that he could tell his overprotective brother that he had already managed to lose his wallet and ID. Ragnor would never let him live in peace.

But before Magnus could send the message, his phone rang again. It was an unknown number.

Magnus replied.

"Magnus Bane," someone said. "My name is Tom. I am Mr Morgenstern driver. They sent me for you"

Magnus sank with relief and smiled.

***

Magnus fell asleep in the car, so he wasn't sure how long the trip to Idris Manor had taken. When he opened his eyes, the car had already stopped and the driver was gently shaking him to wake him up. It was already dark outside.

"We are here, Mr. Bane," said the driver, straightening up.

Magnus grimaced.

"Please call me Magnus." It was strange that he was called Mr.Bane by a man who seemed old enough to be his grandfather.

Shaking his head, Tom just smiled at him like he was an adorable but unreasonable child.

Suppressing a sigh, Magnus smiled back weakly and got out of the car.

He blinked, looking at the huge house.

Magnus was not exactly a stranger to grand mansions and lavish lifestyle. His other brother Raphael boyfriend was a royal lord whose family owned several castles in England and Scotland. But Magnus had never stayed there one night; he was supposed to stay here indefinitely.

It was a little intimidating, to be honest.

"was it normal for the house to be so bright? The lights came on in practically every room."He asked Tom about it.

"Not really," said Tom, retrieving his suitcase."There is a company event tonight to celebrate Morgenstern Enterprises' partnership with the Lightwood Group.

Excellent. Not only was he abandoned on Morgenstern manor without any warning, but he was also blocking his company's event.

"Tom, maybe we shouldn't ..."

But either Tom hadn't heard him, which was entirely possible, considering his age, or he chose to dismiss Magnus's doubts.

Magnus followed him into the house, trying to remember what he knew about the Morgenstern family. Not much Jem had mentioned them several times, and if Magnus remembered correctly, they were a gay couple. That was all Magnus knew about them.

"I'll go get Mr Morgenstern " said Tom, handing Magnus's suitcase to a maid.

Magnus nodded, putting his hands in his pockets as he looked around with interest. It didn't take long for him to start feeling a little self-conscious in his shirt and jeans. He seemed completely out of place in this elegant ballroom that screamed money and privilege, standing out like a sore thumb among those finely dressed guests. He was drawing a lot of glances, and Magnus wasn't flattered thinking it was because he looked amazing after his transatlantic flight.

It probably looked like a disaster.

Maybe I should go for a walk.

The more people watched, the more appealing the idea seemed until Magnus finally relented, thinking it would be a while before Tom could get his employer's attention. Also, Tom could always call him when he found Mr.Morgenstern

Since the sounds of people and laughter came from somewhere to his left, Magnus wandered in the opposite direction, toward the right wing of the mansion.

It was calmer here, although he still met an occasional guest. They looked at him in slight confusion, but no one spoke to him, which suited Magnus quite well.

Before long, he found himself on a beautiful terrace overlooking the garden.

Magnus dropped into the chair in the darkest corner of the deck and turned his head from side to side, trying to ease the stresses on his neck after his long flight. God, it was done. He wondered if it would be too rude to take a nap here. It was calm and quiet enough.

But just as he thought about it, footsteps and male voices were heard.

Grimacing, Magnus moved his chair deeper into the shadows. If he were lucky, those people wouldn't notice him sitting behind that huge plant and would be leaving soon. I wasn't really in the mood for more curious looks.

Footsteps and voices came closer.

They belonged to two men.

The taller man made a sound of irritation.

"It's okay. Half an hour. I will stay another half hour and then I will go."

"Mr. Lightwood, you can't leave so soon," said the other man, his voice pleading. The press will have a field day!

The first man, Lightwood, shrugged.

"It won't be the first time, nor the last."

“With all due respect, sir, but it is one thing when your name is linked to some Hollywood actress, and quite different when you refuse to stay at a company event honoring the partnership between the Lightwood Group and Morgenstern Enterprises. You can't seriously ..."

"Enough!!"

Magnus shuddered. There was something in that man's voice, his demeanor, screaming that he was a man who was used to his word being the law.

"But ..." said the other man meekly. "Mr. Lightwood, what am I supposed to say when people start asking where you are?"

Lightwood shrugged disinterestedly.

"Invent something. That's what I pay you for, Simon."

When Simon made a noise of protest, his boss gave him a flat look.

"I said enough!!,I signed this association agreement because it is financially beneficial for my company; doesn't mean I'm suddenly friends with Morgenstern. I'm not going to stay here and watch him play house with a boy half his age… ”Lightwood broke off, a muscle working his jaw. His hazel eyes caught the light, glowing with cold anger.

Simon cleared his throat, looking beyond awkward.

"I don't think Valentine morgenstern is twice as old as his husband."

Lightwood grimaced. It was a cruel expression, one that distorted his beautiful features into something almost monstrous. Magnus looked at the fascinated man. He had seen many handsome men, but he had rarely seen men with really interesting faces. This man had an interesting face. Lightwood had a sharp jaw and an equally sharp gaze, his black hair the only remotely soft thing about him.he had some early gray hair around his temples, but the man couldn't be over thirty, his smooth, healthy tanned skin, his body clearly fit underneath that tailored suit.

"It doesn't matter," Lightwood said. "It's still pathetic to see a middle-aged man gasping behind a gold digger more than a decade younger than him."

Magnus frowned.he didn't know the Morgenstern couple at all, but from what he'd heard from Jem, they were together because they loved each other.

"Well," said Simon, grimacing." I agree that it doesn't seem natural. Lilith must be hanging around in her grave. She would never have allowed her husband to marry a man."

Magnus glared at Simon and his annoyance increased.

He had felt sorry for the guy for having to deal with such a difficult boss, but the guy's homophobic views were quickly destroying any sympathy he might have felt for him.

He looked at Lightwood, expecting him to tell his employee how wrong his attitude was, but the man didn't seem upset, his gaze on his phone.

"I want you to review the documents that Morgenstern provided us," Lightwood said, shoving his phone into the pocket of his gray pants. He had big hands, with strong, beautifully formed fingers.

Magnus cocked his head to one side, intrigued that he even realized such a thing.

At times like this, he wondered if he really was asexual. To be fair, it wasn't something he knew for sure.  
Their attempts at sex and relationships had been a disaster. He had had sex with a total of two girls, or had tried, and both times he couldn't get hard enough to do the act, drawing on his fingers. After those failures with the girls, Magnus even began to think that he might be gay, especially since some of his older brothers were not completely straight, perhaps people were right that homosexuality was genetic. But his only attempt at gay sex had been even more disastrous than his attempts at heterosexual sex: Magnus felt he was doing an unpleasant and stressful task. In the end, he had awkwardly ended up sucking on the guy and then lying to him that he had already come when the guy saw that Magnus wasn't hard.

Since then, Magnus had ... abandoned sex. Sometimes he thought he had a slight attraction to a boy or a girl, but he never acted on it again, content with his right hand. The fact that he masturbated regularly confirmed that his outfit was physically fine, which only confused him more. If you really were asexual, shouldn't you have no sexual desire? Magnus wanted sex, in theory, but as soon as he was in a room with a real person, the last thing he wanted was to get naked with that person and touch his genitals. All he had felt was discomfort. I had no idea what that did. According to the omniscient Google, some asexual people did not masturbate; some did. Some could not feel attraction at all; some might, under the right circumstances. In summary,

That was partly why Magnus had decided to travel this summer. If he was going to discover himself, it was better to do it away from the curious eyes of his curious family.

It's not that being asexual is the end of the world. It wouldn't be. He had a great family, no matter how dominant they were. He was not concerned that someone in his family found him strange if he told them that he was asexual and possibly aromatic.

That said, although his possible asexuality didn't stress him, Magnus couldn't deny that he sometimes wanted to feel ... more like other people, to feel things that other boys his age felt when they saw a beautiful woman or a fit man.

So now, the fact that he was looking at Lightwood's hands and sharp jaw was more than a little intriguing. He couldn't remember the last time he had checked someone out.

"... Yes, Mister Lightwood," Simon was muttering, taking notes on his tablet as his boss fired order after order. The guy seemed more stressed at times, a look of misery in his eyes as he tried to write everything down. Magnus felt a pang of pity again before telling himself not to be soft. The guy was a homophobic jerk. Having such a difficult boss must be karma or something.

Finally, the men left and Magnus was alone on the terrace again. Yawning, he closed his eyes, his eyelids growing heavier. Although he had taken a nap in the car, he was still exhausted after his flight and his body was sure that the time was much later than it was.

He must have fallen asleep.

He only vaguely remembered a maid who shook him awake and showed him the way to his room.

After undressing, Magnus stretched out on the cold sheets and fell into a deep and exhausted sleep.

He dreamed of hazel eyes glowing with cold fire.


	2. Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tq all for your kudo, hit and comment.. Im sorry if my grammar not tht good.. English is my 2nd language and im stil in progress to learn.. Forgive me... ☺ 
> 
> On tis story, magnus is younger then Alexander.And Alexander is straight (dont worry he will change is sexuality later on).

The next morning, a very cheerful maid led Magnus to the "little breakfast room" where the Morgenstern family was apparently having breakfast.

Magnus stopped at the door, watching the domestic scene.

A stern-looking bald man was sitting at the head of the table, with a very handsome blue-eyed boy to his left. The Morgenstern couple, presumably. The Blonde-haired boy didn't look like a gold digger at all. There was something very soft and loving in his eyes as he spoke to his husband.

In front of him, two very pretty girls around the age of ten were arguing aloud among themselves. The girls must be related to the bald mab, they were a little like him, but above all they were very much like each other. They were clearly twins, but they were not absolutely identical: one of them had a pretty purple hair and other girl have light brown hair. 

There was also a large black dog lying at the girls' feet. The girls kept secretly feeding him when the adults didn't look.

The Blue-eyed boy was the first to notice Magnus.

"Good morning," he said with a smile. "Come in, don't stop there! I'm Jace. This is my husband,Valentine.Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, thank you," said Magnus, taking a seat next to one of the twins. It felt a little awkward. Although he wasn't exactly socially awkward, he didn't know these people at all.

The girl next to him turned and looked at him curiously. "Who are you? Why do you stay in our house?"

"Aurora !" Harry snapped, a slight blush on his cheeks. "That is very rude"

"It was only a question!"The girl with purple hair protested, pouting. Valentine, tell Jace" it was just a question dear"

Valentine Morgenstern looked up from his coffee cup and focused his hawk-black eyes on the girls. They softened considerably.

"I'm sure Aurora didn't want to be rude."

"Babe, don't take your daughter side!"Jace said exasperatedly. "you already spoil them to much until they rude to our guest. ”Harry turned to Magnus and gave him a weak smile." I'm sorry about that. But it's probably my fault for not telling the girls about you. These are my husband daughter,the purple hair her name Aurora and the other is Velvet. Girls, this is Magnus Bane, Jem friend from England. He was supposed to stay with Jem and Tessa, but they know they had to leave, so Magnus will stay with us for a while. Please be nice to him. Don't play pranks on him."

Magnus smiled at the girls.

"I'm not bothered by joke,I have four siblings. I've seen it all."

The twins' eyes lit up. They exchanged a look that would have scared Magnus if he hadn't been on the receiving end of pranks from his sibling's for years when they were kids.

"Besides," said Magnus. "It is natural that your daughter are confused. I would be too if I found a stranger in my house. ”He looked from Jace to Valentine. " Thank you very much for your hospitality. I appreciate it, but it seems like I'm intruding on your house ..."

"You're not meddling," said Jace. " No problem, really." He chuckled." Actually, it's nice that we have someone else in this mausoleum at home."

Although he really appreciated the feeling, Magnus shook his head.

"I would feel better if there was anything I can do to help ..." He broke off, not knowing what he could do to be useful. It wasn't as if the Morgenstern couple needed help around the house, considering how many employees they had. Any such help would be useless to them, and they would simply be bothering Magnus if they let him work in the garden or the house.

Jace seemed to share his thoughts. His beautiful face looked vaguely uncomfortable, as if he wasn't sure what to say without offending him.

His husband cleared his throat.

"Actually," he said. "There may be something you can help us with."

Relieved, Magnus looked at Valentine.

Those black eyes seemed to assess him before Valentine spoke again.

"You probably heard last night that our company recently signed a partnership agreement with the Lightwood Group."

Magnus nodded, frowning in confusion. But he didn't ask any questions, waiting for Valentine to explain.

Valentine took a sip of his coffee.

“While the deal is mutually beneficial, I am concerned that Alexander Lightwood, the owner of the Lightwood Group, may have ulterior motives. We are not exactly friends."

Magnus cocked his head slightly and his confusion grew.

"You may be wondering why I accepted this agreement if I have concerns," Valentine said." I am not a businessman, Magnus. I have no patience or love for business. I don't have time either. I am a full professor at Harvard. Morgenstern Enterprises was my father's pride and joy, and until his death, I had nothing to do with it. ”Valentine grimaced slightly. "Since my father's death, my brother-in-law has been doing all the administrative work, but he and my wife died in a plane crash half a year ago."

Oh

Before Magnus could express his condolences, Valentine continued:

"So since neither Jace nor I are interested, or capable, of running such a large company, we had no choice but to involve strangers." Valentine pinched the bridge of his nose. "At first we tried to promote some high-ranking managers to the CEO position, but it wasn't a good solution. ”His lips twisted into a sardonic smile. "My father was a controlling son of a bitch who didn't understand what the word 'delegate' meant. My brother-in-law was the only other person in the company who understood how to run it efficiently."

Valentine shook his head.

"After his death, the company began to suffer heavy losses from incompetent management. So when the Lightwood Group reached out to us, offering us a mutually beneficial partnership, with its CEO agreeing to manage both companies and us only reaping the benefits, it seemed like a good solution"

"But now you don't think that anymore?" Magnus said, still unsure what all this had to do with him. Nor was it as if he had any ideas on how to run a corporation. He could be a business student, but this situation was far beyond his experience.

"I have ... doubts," Valentine said, thinning his lips." The deal is almost too good for us, considering how much a manager of Alexander Lightwood's caliber is worth and the fact that our companies have been rivals for decades."

Magnus looked at him curiously. There was something Valentine was not saying to him. If he had known Valentine better, he would have pushed, but since he didn't, he decided to ask the other question in his mind:

"How I can help?"Valentine stared at him.

"I need someone I can trust to tell me if Lightwood is doing something."

Magnus blinked.Valentine wanted me to spy on the guy?(seriously). 

"Wouldn't it be better and more convenient if you asked one of your company's employees?"

Valentine shook his head.

"I already tried, but either there's nothing or Lightwood is too careful about my employees.Not to mention that now that he is officially their boss, it will put them in a very awkward position, torn between loyalty to the owner and the CEO."

Magnus nodded with a frown.

"But how am I supposed to approach him to find out if something is wrong?"

"Aren't you a business student?" Valentine said before drinking his coffee.

Magnus nodded again, a little uneasy because Valentine knew this about him.

"You will be a British student in a summer internship program. It will be credible, because Morgenstern Enterprises really has an international internship program. I will order your documents and coordinate your transfer to the CEO's offices. You can start tomorrow."

Magnus could only look at the man, feeling a bit dazed.

"Vale,"Jace said with a look of loving exasperation. "Slow down. You're overwhelming the poor man." Turning to Magnus, he smiled apologetically. "Sorry, you don't even realize how intense it can be. ”he looked back at his husband. "Don't push it. Magnus is here on vacation, not work."

"He can always say no, Jace,"Valentine said, not looking contrite at all.

Magnus thought, not without humor, that he wasn't exactly in a position to refuse, no matter what Valentine said. If he refused to help them, staying at home and enjoying their hospitality would be more than uncomfortable.

"Obviously it will be a paid internship," Valentine said as an afterthought.

Jace gave his husband a sharp look.

"Don't even start," he said with something that sounded like reproach and amusement at the same time. "Money is not the solution for everything."

The couple exchanged a look that Magnus did not understand.

Valentine mouth twisted.

"I still think it was the best I spent my money on," he said, looking at Jace closely.

Jace blushed and licked his lips.

"Vale!!," he hissed, looking at Magnus and the twins.

The girls rolled their eyes as one.

"Ignore them," Aurora said to Magnus with an important look on her cute little face."We do it when they are being rude and adulterous."

"Adults are not a word," Velvet said, earning her twin's scowl.

Looking at his watch, Valentine said:

"Girls, aren't you late for your self-defense lessons?"

"Damn!" Aurora said, standing up.

When Jace gave her a severe look, the girl smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry pa!But we have to run! Come on Velvet we need to go now"

And they ran away, the dog trotting behind them.

Magnus found it amusing that Jace was the stern father in this relationship.

"So," Valentine said, looking at Magnus. "What is your answer?"

"No pressure, remember,"Jace added with a sharp look at his husband.

"Okay, I can do it," Magnus shrugged." It is not a big thing.You are really helping me staying and I want to return the favor. But ... I'm not going to stalk the guy and search his drawers or something."

Jace laughed out loud.

"We are not asking you to do that.Just watch him, okay?"Valentine doesn't trust easily, and his unease makes me eager for power.

Relieved that they didn't want him to be some kind of pseudo spy, Magnus smiled back.

"I don't have my passport, by the way.It will not be a problem?"

Frowning, Valentine shook his head.

"A CEO is not going to ask for your passport.The company-issued ID will suffice. ”He stood up and looked at his watch again. "It is decided, then. I'll stop by the office to organize everything. ”Leaning down, he gave Jace a short but hungry kiss that made Magnus look away.

Ninety percent of the time, Magnus was perfectly fine with his lack of personal life.

But at times like this, he had to admit that he felt a little jealous.

Only a little.


	3. Mission Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something happen with magnus... What will be?

Magnus's first three days as an amateur spy intern were interesting, but uneventful.Valentine had been right that no one had looked at him twice. It was just another inmate, though the only one who was assigned to the administrative floor of the building, where the CEO's office was located.

Not that Magnus had seen the man yet. Apparently, Lightwood was closing a very important deal in New York and would not return for a few more days. Despite his absence, Magnus had already learned quite a bit about the type. I didn't even need to ask: everyone seemed eager to gossip about the new CEO. It didn't hurt that the man was handsome and obscenely wealthy, so it was naturally the main topic of discussion during Magnus' coffee breaks.

Alexander Lightwood was thirty-one years old. He recently divorced and had custody of his only child. People seemed to have two ideas about it: some thought it was cruel of Lightwood to take the child from his mother, and others thought it admirable that he was willing to raise him alone. Magnus doubted the guy raised the boy alone: he probably had a legion of babysitters taking care of his son; not to mention that there were probably hundreds of women more than eager to become the next Mrs. Lightwood and cheer on the man after their divorce.

To be honest, Magnus struggled to connect the cold-eyed and impeccably dressed man he had seen at the Morgenstern party with the image of a single father of a young boy, but decided not to judge the book by its cover. Who knew, maybe Lightwood was a big squish under his icy exterior?

Of course, everything pointed out that Lightwood was not a great soft.

"He is incredibly demanding," said Jia, his secretary, to Magnus with a cup of tea. She was an unremarkable-looking woman in her fifty, breaking all the stereotypes Magnus had previously had about secretaries of billionaires. "But it's also fair enough," he added. "To be honest,Morgenstern Senior was much worse."She shrugged."But then again, I don't have to work closely with Mr. Lightwood, because he has a  
personal assistant , and the poor guy is the one who gets the brunt of the boss's anger if things go wrong, not me ”Jia looked at him with interest."Enough work. Tell me more about you. Surely a young man as handsome as you has a partner?"

Magnus could only smile crookedly and shake his head. He didn't know what it was about that made women want to raise him like a mother and play matchmakers for him.

"Really? "She said, her eyebrows raised."But you are so handsome! What do you use to dye your hair, by the way?"

Smiling, Magnus shook his head again.

"No, it is my natural color." Of course his hair was quite unusual: brown with a bit gold. At least he was thick and manageable enough and the color matched his almost golden eyes well, so Magnus was far from complaining. He did not suffer from false modesty.He knew he was attractive, but he was not as attractive as his brother Raphael, whose appearance embarrassed Hollywood stars. People literally stumbled and stared when they saw Raphael. It was more than hilarious. Compared to Raphael, Magnus looked good, but it was probably unfair to judge people to such high standards.

Jia opened her mouth, but whatever she was going to say was interrupted by Maia scream.

"Jia, the boss is back and he's looking for you!"

"Hmm, he came back early,"Jia murmured, frowning and standing up." I wonder if something went wrong ... Come on, Magnus."

Magnus got up and hurried to follow her, feeling curious and a little anxious. In the past few days, he had heard so many different things about Lightwood that it was difficult for him to put the various pieces of information together into one coherent image. Not to mention that his promise to Valentine and Jace made him uneasy and nervous, as if Lightwood looked at him and assumed he had been sent to spy on him.

Spy on it.

Damn, what had he gotten himself into? He was not James Bond. In fact, his poker face was non-existent. Magnus had always preferred to be honest and direct and he liked people to act the same way.

"Wait here," Jia said, setting it down on her desk before walking confidently to the CEO's office and closing the door.

To kill time, Magnus pulled out his phone and started texting his brothers.

Hmm, Raphael wanted to propose to his boyfriend ... Wasn't it too soon?

Magnus quickly did the math in his head and realized with some surprise that Raphael and Merlion had been together for two and a half years. And considering that Raphael and Merlion had been hip-tight since they were kids, it was probably about time.

The raised voices made Magnus shudder and look at the door. I could hear snippets of the conversation now.

"I don't care,Jia. Find me one now!!"

Magnus bit the inside of his cheek, recognizing that harsh voice.

Jia mumbled something that Magnus couldn't hear.

There was a sound of high heels on the polished floor before the door opened and Jia left the office, an expression of discomfort on her face.

"Something's wrong?"Magnus said, looking at the closed door.

She grimaced.

"I'm not sure yet. Basically, the boss's assistant finally broke down and had a nervous breakdown. He is in no condition to return to work for a while, and Mr. Lightwood needs a personal assistant as soon as possible."She looked at Magnus sheepishly.

"Please tell me you didn't volunteer me to be PA," said Magnus weakly. When Jia didn't deny it, Magnus shook his head.

"I have no experience being a personal assistant, Jia.he'll kick me out in a few hours."

"Well, on the positive side, you will earn more as your personal assistant in a few hours than you will earn as an intern in a month."

Realizing she wasn't kidding, Magnus could only look at her. Really?

She smiled.

"That's a positive side, isn't it?So I suggested you."

Magnus was touched.Jia knew about his stolen wallet and the fact that he was a bit strapped for cash right now, as he hadn't actually bothered to tell his family about he problems.

"Very well, go.He is waiting."

-"Now?" Magnus said, looking at the door.

She laughed

"No, next week.See, he is not a patient man"

"That's really encouraging," Magnus said dryly before squaring his shoulders and walking toward the door.

Here it goes.

He entered the office and closed the door carefully before looking at the man sitting behind the huge oak desk.

Dark suit. Piercing hazel eyes framed by dark lashes. Alexander Lightwood.

Magnus swallowed hard.

"Hi, I'm Magnus Bane," he said, his gaze drifting down to Lightwood's gray tie. A brown one would have been better, it would have made his eyes more prominent. Not that a gray tie made his eyes go unnoticed; away from there. The eyes of Lightwoods were strangely intense despite being completely unreadable. It was difficult to look away from them, and Magnus found that his gaze was drawn towards them, against his will.

I have never seen such intense eyes.Valentine Morgenstern black hawk gaze moved closer, but not quite.

The silence lengthened.

And the longer it lasted, the more restless, and curious, Magnus felt. Lightwood's gaze could definitely be called a gaze now, which didn't make any sense. If he didn't know better, he might think that Lightwood was checking him out, but by all accounts, the man was completely straight.

Why he looking at me?

Magnus cleared his throat a little.

"Is there something on my face, Mr. Lightwood?"

Still staring at him, Lightwood said:

"You are Asian mix British, correct?"

"What gave me away?" Magnus joked before he could stop himself.

Lightwood's dark eyebrows shot up a little, as if he couldn't believe some humble intern dared joke with him.

Magnus met his gaze without blinking. If Lightwood had a problem with him, he could fire him. Magnus really wouldn't mind being fired, because then he wouldn't have to spy on anyone and he could tell the Valentine with a clear conscience that he had tried, but unfortunately the guy was too stupid.

"Do you have a relative in the United States?" Lightwood said, not biting the hook. His puzzling gaze remained fixed on Magnus.

It was making him feel weird. Self-conscious. Nervous.

"As far as I know, no," Magnus replied, reaching into his pockets and trying not to fret.

Lightwood made a thoughtful sound and finally looked away.

Magnus exhaled. He glanced around the room before turning his eyes to Lightwood's face.

It was a good face, he had to admit. Strong and pretty, the touch of gray in Lightwood's dark hair adds something distinctive to her look.

"Do I remind you of someone?" Magnus said at last, breaking the silence again.

Lightwood's gaze returned to him. His brows drew together.

"You do, actually."

Magnus wondered if it would be rude to ask his boss who he reminded him of. He concluded that it would definitely be rude. He asked the question anyway.

"To who?"

Lightwood's face was blank.

"My ex wife. You could have been her male twin."

Well, uncomfortable.

Since Magnus had no idea how the man felt about his ex-wife, he couldn't be sure if it was a good thing or not. But considering the fact that she was an ex-wife, Lightwood was unlikely to have warm and confused feelings when looking at him.

A grimace crossed Lightwood's face.

"Are you sure you are not related?"Lydia Branwell?"

"Very sure. Born in Indonesia and raised in London, my whole family too. It is actually the first time I have traveled abroad in my life."

Lightwood looked at him closely, as if he suspected Magnus had lied. Magnus almost laughed."You are suspecting something wrong."

Getting serious, he met the other man's eyes and said:

"I swear that I am in no way related to your ex-wife, Mr. Lightwood.But if my presence bothers you, you should transfer me. I'm just an intern."

A strange emotion flickered in Lightwood's eyes.

"It doesn't bother me," he said, his voice so cold it made Magnus feel a little awkward."I couldn't care less about my ex-wife."

True.That's why you've been looking at me since I got here.

But Magnus did not push. There were things no one liked to talk about, and ugly breaks were one of them.

"So you still want me as your personal assistant?"

"I still need an assistant, and my secretary assured me that you can do the job properly until my assistant can return to work." Magnus nodded.

"May I ask about my job responsibilities?"

"You will organize meetings and appointments.You will remind me ......"

"There are applications that I can download to your phone for that."Magnus said. 

The look he got from Lightwood for interrupting him, and daring to suggest a modern and completely reasonable solution, would have made anyone squirm. But after decades of being on the receiving end of Ragnor stern gaze, Magnus was a little callous to bossy personalities. Maybe they should introduce each other, he thought, amused.

"Sorry," he said, giving Lightwood his best innocent look."Go ahead."

"Your job is pretty easy when it comes to jobs," Lightwood said.

True. That is why your personal assistant had a nervous breakdown.

"You will reserve and organize trips, transportation and accommodation. You will manage databases and file systems. It will be your responsibility to ensure that the suits I keep in my office, "Lightwood pointed to the door that presumably led to the closet," are clean and wrinkle-free. You'll come with me to the meetings and take notes. ”Lightwood paused, looking at him, as if challenging Magnus to say that there were apps that could do that, too.

Magnus kept his mouth closed, his lips pursed to keep him from smiling.

“There are hundreds of other little tasks that you will have to do. I have no time or desire to recite them for you. Your job is to make my life easier; that's all you need to remember. Your job is to follow my orders, as quickly as possible. You will do everything I say, exactly as I say.

Magnus nodded, hoping he looked appropriately serious and fervent.

Judging by Lightwood's narrow-eyed gaze, he had failed to completely hide his joy.

"Am I having fun?" Lightwood said.

"Not at all," Magnus said honestly."But the situation itself does it a bit."

Lightwood raised an eyebrow.

Magnus was impressed. He could never raise an eyebrow without looking constipated and ridiculous: he knew it because he had practiced the expression in front of the mirror, but he ended up laughing at himself every time. The people who could do it and make it look effortless must be some kind of monster.

"The situation?"Lightwood repeated.

Running a hand through his hair, Magnus nodded with a shy smile.

"Like I came to America to take a break from my bossy older brother, but now I have a boss who can give him a shot for his money. It's quite ironic, isn't it?"

Lightwood looked at him oddly, as if unsure of what to do with him.

"You're very strange."

Magnus laughed.

"Thank you. I think — At least weird was better than boring."

Lightwood was still looking at him.

"Um," said Magnus with a small smile. "So am I hired?"

"Yes." Lightwood's gaze finally moved away from him. He looked at his computer, but Magnus got the strange impression that he really wasn't looking at him.

Magnus cleared his throat.

"So do you want me to do something for you right now, Mr. Lightwood?"

Lightwood shook his head to himself before turning his gaze to Magnus and looking again.

"I was starting to lose Magnus."Lightwood say. 

He licked his dry lips with his tongue, not knowing what the hell was going on.

Lightwood looked away again, somewhat irritated by him.

"Make me coffee," he said irritably, nodding toward the discreet door on the right. "Black, without sugar. You know how to make coffee, right?"

"Of course not," Magnus said with a serious face. It is illegal to drink more than just tea in England.

Lightwood looked at him unimpressed.

"Then let's hope you learn quickly. I want my coffee in ten minutes.Understood?

"Aye aye sir." Walking to the door, Magnus rolled his eyes. The man needed to relax.

“Rolling your eyes at your employer is an offense you can be fired for, Magnus."

Magnus froze, confused, before he realized there was a mirror on the wall and Lightwood must have been looking through it.

"Creepy," Magnus murmured quietly.

"Calling your employer by name when he can't hear you is also an offense for which you can be fired," Lightwood said, his voice very dry.

Magnus looked over his shoulder and smiled.

"I should say goodbye, then."

Lightwood's narrowed gaze was the last thing Magnus saw before closing the door behind him.

He looked around the small room. It had a red sofa, a table, a fridge, and a coffee maker. A very elegant coffee pot.

Magnus eyed her warily.

Taking a deep breath, he pulled out his phone and opened Google. He would be damned if he proved that Lightwood was right.

He was going to make the best coffee that idiot had ever tasted.


	4. Uneasy Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus talk with his boss.somthing happen.

A week later, Magnus was on the verge of his wits.

"I hate it!"he complained to Jia, dropping into the chair next to her desk with a frustrated moan.

She gave him a sympathetic, if somewhat amused, look.

"What did you do now?"She said quietly, glancing cautiously at the closed door in the Monster's Lair.

Magnus frowned. Now he understood why Lightwood's personal assistant had suffered a nervous breakdown. At this rate, he would too.

"It drives me crazy, Jia,He doesn't like me, I always get something wrong, but he still refuses to fired me and get a real personal assistant! At this point, I'll be ecstatic to be fired. ”He had never considered himself an easily frustrated person, but Alexander Lightwood was proving himself wrong.

"If it's so unbearable, you can always give up, Magnus," she said, clicking her tongue.

"I can't," said Magnus.

On the one hand, there was his promise to the Morgenstern to keep an eye on Lightwood.

On the other hand, he was pretty sure Lightwood wouldn't let him give up.

The thought made him bite the inside of his cheek.

The question was ... Alexander Lightwood might be a big jerk to him, but he was undoubtedly strange about him. Magnus wasn't sure what the guy's problem was, but Lightwood kept looking at him the whole time.

No matter what Magnus did, Lightwood stared at him. Magnus ironed Lightwood's shirt, and Lightwood stared at him. Magnus wrote a document for Lightwood, and Lightwood stared at it. Magnus served him a lunch (delivered from one of the best restaurants in town, of course), and Lightwood stared at him. Damn hell, at this point, Magnus was used to being watched all the time.

Since Magnus didn't have a second head and wasn't ridiculously handsome like his brother Ragnor or Raphael, he could only conclude that Lightwood's strange looks had to do with his resemblance to his ex-wife.

But it still didn't explain anything.

He had done his research, but Googling Alexander Lightwood and his ex-wife didn't give Magnus the answers he expected.

Lydia Branwell was a B-list actress who had played a few minor roles in some small movies. Magnus looked a lot like her, he reluctantly admitted, but they didn't look like twins, no matter what Lightwood said. They would never mistake one for the other, unless one was half blind. It was tall enough for a woman, about five feet, roughly about Magnus's height. That's where the similarities ended.

Its other characteristics gave Magnus an air, but as if they were slightly distorted. Her hair wasn't as richly colored as his, but it was golden brown, and the shape of her honey-colored eyes wasn't exactly the same, but it was similar enough. Being feminine, her features were slightly softer than his, but not much, since Magnus's face was quite refined. It made sense why Lightwood had first thought they must be related.Lydia Branwell was more like Magnus than his own brothers.

It was kind of weird, but it wasn't that weird, there were a bunch of celebrities who looked oddly alike,  
so Magnus didn't think it fully explained Lightwood's odd look.

No, Lightwood wanted something from him.

But what?

At first, Magnus had thought that the man had simply not outdone his ex-wife. That would explain the look if Lightwood was still in love with Magnus's resemblance. Except apparently Alexander Lightwood was the one who filed for divorce. So the regretting ex-husband theory was out.

But what other theory was there?

"Why didn't you tell me I look like his ex-wife?"Magnus said sulkily.

Jia frowned.

"You look like her?"Jia ask. 

Magnus looked at her, completely confused, before remembering that while Jia had worked for Morgenstern Enterprises for decades, Lightwood had become its CEO, and his boss, just a few weeks ago. Since she didn't seem like the type to read gossip blogs, she was unlikely to have seen Lightwood's ex-wife.

Silently, Magnus pulled out the photo of Lydia on his phone and showed it to Jia.

"Huh," she said, looking at him."I see the resemblance, especially at first glance, but the more I look at it, the less it resembles you.Everything is in the details. It's like it's a draft of yours."

Magnus snorted.

"Shouldn't it be the other way around?.Her face is more delicate and feminine."

Wrinkling her nose,Jia shook her head.

"Yours is more striking."

Laughing, Magnus shrugged even though he disagreed.

"You think he's an idiot to me because I look like his ex?"

Jia raised her eyebrows.

"My dear, don't take it the wrong way, but Mr. Lightwood treats you no worse than he treats everyone else. Yes, he is demanding and his standards may be quite high, but he is not an abusive boss. It is never rude or rude for the simple fact of being. Was it unpleasant with you?"

Magnus was silent, thinking about it.

"Not really. He's just ....Too much."

It may be a strange way of describing someone, but that was what Lightwood was,too much. When he was in the room, it was impossible to ignore him. It was like a black hole that drew Magnus's attention to him. Coupled with the fact that Lightwood watched him all the time, the effect was more than disconcerting. Magnus had considered himself a calm and laid-back guy, but he didn't feel like one last week since he met Alexander Lightwood. He felt so nervous that he was so close to confronting Lightwood and asking what the hell his problem was.

Maybe I should.

Magnus straightened, considering the idea. Why not? He had nothing to lose. Being fired would be a relief, actually.

"I have an idea," Magnus said, standing up. He already felt better, his mood improved greatly now that the decision was made. Either Lightwood would finally fired him for his cheek, or he would finally get his answers.

"Good luck!"Jia said behind him when he entered Lightwood's office.

Lightwood looked up from his computer and raised his eyebrows.

"Didn't I send you to get those documents from the Lightwood Group headquarters?"

"I told the messenger to do it," said Magnus. "You know, the man whose job is just to do that."

Lightwood gave him a look that conveyed exactly what he thought of his reply.

Magnus gave him an innocent.

"Is there a problem?,Come on, fired me."

Lightwood did not fired him.He cocked his head slightly to the side, still looking at him with that unreadable and intense gaze. Curious. Again.

Magnus took a deep breath.

"Look, what do you want from me?, What about all the strange looks? Do you want me to suck your cock or something?"

Lightwood blinked before giving him an exasperated look.

"No thanks. I don't want you to suck my dick. I'm straight."

Well, that was ... a relief.

"Now I'm even more confused," Magnus said, folding his arms across his chest."What about all eyes, then?"

Lightwood leaned back in his seat, his expression unreadable.

"I've been watching you, that's all.I have an idea, and I'm still not sure if it's a good one or not."

"What idea?" Magnus said, approaching the desk before dropping into the chair across from Lightwood without being invited to do so. He pretended not to see the unimpressed look of his boss.

Lightwood looked away before looking back at him.

"Do you know that I have a son?"

Magnus just nodded, waiting for an explanation.

"A year ago, he had a ... traumatic experience," he said.

Lightwood in a muffled voice. Since then, he has been very scary, avoiding all social interactions. He is ... difficult. I think he is afraid of people.

Magnus frowned.

"Do you think?,Don't you know for sure? Can't ask your child? "From what I remembered, Lightwood's son was three years old.Magnus was far from an expert on children, but he was pretty sure that three-year-olds spoke reasonably well. At least his nephews did it at that age.

Lightwood glared at him.

"He still doesn't speak."

"Oh. Sorry."

Lightwood's gaze intensified, as if he wanted nothing more than to disintegrate him right there.

"He is a healthy boy; all the doctors say so. They think it is a psychological barrier, not something serious.

Magnus nodded and finally asked about the elephant in the room.

"Why are you saying this to me?I had an idea and I really hoped I was wrong."

"You look like my ex-wife," Lightwood said dryly."Maybe seeing you will help my son overcome any mental block he has.

Too much for that hope.

"Why don't you ask your ex wife?" Magnus said with a pinched gaze. "The person the child probably misses?"

Lightwood's face went blank.

"That's impossible."

"Why not? She's dead?"

"No.'

"Then why not? Don't you think your child's health is more important than any problem you have with your ex-wife?"

The look Lightwood gave him was positively withering.

"You are forgetting your position. It is none of your business."

Magnus met his gaze calmly.

"You are making it my business," he said."If you want me to help you, you should answer my questions instead of being a jerk."

"She is in a rehab center now.Heroin addiction."

Oh

"That ... sucks," said Magnus awkwardly."How long she going to stay in rehab?"

Lightwood shrugged.

"Your addiction is severe and I am told you will need long-term care.I don't know the exact time frame. She is no longer my problem."

Nice.

But Magnus told himself not to judge the guy too much. The addiction was very hard on the family.

"Is that why you have custody of your son?" Magnus said. "Isn't it ... cruel to take your son away while she struggles with her drug addiction?"

Something ugly and bitter blinked on Lightwood's face, his eyes cold as ice.

"Considering that she tried to use her own son to get more money for her drugs, and left him in an unknown place for days while she was drugged, No!!, I'm not very sorry for her."

Magnus squirmed a little in his seat. Although Lightwood's anger was not directed at him, it still felt like a force, something cold and cruel. Suddenly, he felt sorry for the guy's ex-wife. Being the focus of such intense anger and hatred must have been more than a little scary.

"So what exactly do you want me to do?" Magnus said, changing the subject from uncomfortable to one that was a little less uncomfortable."Know your child? How do you know that would work?"

"I don't know that," Lightwood said. He didn't say anything else, a muscle marked his jaw.

Magnus bit his lower lip, realizing what the other man was not saying: that they had nothing to lose and Lightwood was desperate enough to try anything right now. Maybe the guy had a heart, after all.

"You said your son was difficult," said Magnus."In what sense?"

Lightwood looked away.

"He does not speak. He gets hysterical when they take him out of the house. He doesn't like physical contact very much. He cries a lot and does not sleep well. He is afraid of loud noises and most people, including me. Doctors say Max has some symptoms of autism, but they are not significant enough to affect his behavior so dramatically. They think he suffered some kind of psychological trauma while his mother had it after we broke up. I recovered my son as soon as I was able to show that I was in no condition to care for him, but it was too late at the time."

Damn hell.

"How old was he?"Magnus said.

"He was a year and ten months old," Lightwood said quietly. "He was quite a normal boy until then. I had just started talking when it happened."

"And do you think seeing someone who looks like his mother will help you and your son?,For real?"

Lightwood shrugged.

"I have spoken to pediatrician.She thinks it's worth a try. It cannot hurt in any case. We have been waiting for improvements for over a year, but he is not improving, no matter what we do. Doctors fear that Max is far behind his development peers if he doesn't start showing signs of improvement soon."

Magnus frowned.

"But do you son even remember his own mother?,Do young children remember things?"

"She was his mother," Lightwood said in a subdued voice."I have been told that even young children remember their mothers better than anything. Even if he doesn't remember her well, seeing you can destroy any psychological block he may have after she left him."

"Or it could make things worse," Magnus said, not cruelly.

Lightwood nodded briefly.

"There is always a risk."

Magnus sighed.

"Well then, when will you take me to see him?"

Hazel eyes locked on him.

"You will do it?"

Magnus nodded.

"I don't know much about children, but I'm not cruel.If seeing me could help the boy, of course I will do what I can. It's worth a try, even if I'm not entirely sure it  
helps. ”He shrugged slightly." I don't look like your ex-wife as much as you seem to think."

"You don't," Lightwood agreed, to his surprise." But at first glance, you look surprisingly like her, enough to fool the fuzzy memory of a young child. That's what we want a strong reaction from Max, something to get him out of his shell.Max showed some reaction to Lydia photos, so seeing you in person could have the desired effect."

"Okay," said Magnus, despite his doubts. He stood up. "When do we go?"

When they got into the back of Lightwood's car and Lightwood ordered his driver to take them home, Magnus looked out the window, pretending not to notice Lightwood's eyes on his face.

Magnus clasped his hands in his lap.

"Why do you keep looking at me"


	5. New Job?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus meet Alexander son

It probably shouldn't have surprised Magnus that Lightwood lived in a mansion that made even Valentine Morgenstern look like a modest house.

Magnus hoped he didn't look wide-eyed, but he probably did.

"Do you live alone in this ... house?" He said as they walked towards the front door.

"My son and I," said Lightwood.

"That's a big house for a man and a little boy," said Magnus.

Lightwood shrugged carelessly, loosening his tie as he opened the door.

"This house has been in my family for centuries."

Which Magnus had been able to deduce without being told. Everything about this man screamed of old money and privileged education. He carried himself with the kind of confidence and power that came naturally to someone who descended from many generations of wealth and status. Alexander Lightwood could be a brilliant businessman and CEO, but it was by no means improvised.

"You have no family left?" Magnus said, following his boss deeper into the huge house.

Your boss. Magnus still found it difficult to see this man as his boss. He completely forgot to address him as "Mr. Lightwood." Ironically, the fact that Lightwood was so bossy and stern made Magnus feel very comfortable with him.

Just like home, he thought with some amusement, thinking of his older brother.

Except Lightwood's company didn't feel brotherly at all. Magnus wasn't sure how he felt, but 'brother' was the last thing he associated with the man.

"Mr. Lightwood!"

Magnus raised his head abruptly. An old woman was running down the big stairs, an anxious look on her kind face.

"We weren't expecting you at home that early,"She said, frowning."Something wrong?"She finally looked at Magnus and then did a double take, her brown eyes widening.

"No Iris" Lightwood said, taking off his jacket and handing it to the woman." Is Max awake?"

Iris nodded.

"He's in his room," she said quietly, looking curiously at Magnus.

"This is my new assistant, Magnus Bane," Lightwood said, putting a hand on Magnus's shoulder."She is my housekeeper,Iris Rouse". His hand moved to the middle of Magnus's back and he pushed lightly."Let's go."

Magnus allowed himself to be led into the third-floor room.

When they stopped in front of the door, Magnus turned to Lightwood.

"Just a little warning," he said with a sad smile. "I am not very good with children.My sister's son calls me her least favorite uncle for a reason."

Lightwood did not seem puzzled.

"You are not required to become his friend.You won't be here long enough for that anyway. You are just some kind of shock therapy."

Magnus snorted.

"Yes, let's hope it works,because my skills with children are non-existent."

Lightwood led him into the room.

It was large, beautiful, and very bright. There were toys all over the room, of all kinds that one could imagine, so many that the room looked like a toy store. Very expensive toy store.

For a moment, Magnus thought that the housekeeper must be wrong and that the boy was not really in the room.

But then he saw it.

A small boy peeked out from behind a huge toy garage, hazel eyes wide and cautious, a clump of dark hair framing his pale face. He was adorable. The cutest thing Magnus had ever seen. And the air of vulnerability and uncertainty about him tugged at the fibers of Magnus's heart in a way that no other child had.

Magnus found himself walking forward and kneeling in front of the boy.

"Hello," he said softly.

The boy, Max, stared at him.

He had his father's eyes, Magnus thought distantly as he smiled at the boy.

"My name is Magnus.What's your name?"

The boy said nothing. I was just looking at Lightwood son. Another thing he had in common with his father.

As the silence dragged on and it became clear that Max was not going to react to him in any way, Magnus was more disappointed than he probably should have been.

"I told him it wouldn't work," he said over his shoulder to Lightwood and stood up.

"Or tried it."

A small hand grabbed his arm.

Lightwood inhaled sharply, his body tense. Don't screw it, his expression said.

Magnus averted his eyes from the man to the boy holding on to his arm.

"Mother?"The boy whispered uncertainly, his words barely intelligible.

That broke Magnus's heart.

Swallowing,he opened his mouth to say he was not the poor boy mother, but a hard hand gripped his shoulder in warning.

"Yes," said Lightwood."Your mom is back, Max."

Magnus froze.

He glared over his shoulder at Lightwood, but the man's cold gaze made it clear that if Magnus dared to contradict him, he would have to pay hell.

Before he could say or do anything, Magnus had the lap of a small child crying against his chest.

Excellent.

Bloody fantastic.

***

It took Max a while to finally fall into an exhausted dream against Magnus's chest. When they put him in his bed and left Max's room, Magnus immediately turned to Lightwood. "What the hell was that? Are you crazy?!!"

Lightwood grabbed him by the wrist and led him to the  
nearest room . Closing the door, he turned to Magnus, his jaw clenched.

“That was the first time in months that my son initiated physical contact. The first time he said anything in over a year. You're crazy if you think I'm missing this opportunity."

Magnus looked at him without knowing what to say.

"I get it," he finally managed to say."But I am not the child's mother.He will be traumatized again when he realise im not his mother!!. "

Lightwood sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"We will cross that bridge when we get to it.The important thing is to get him to overcome any mental block he has now, to make him more open, more sociable. Until that happens, even the best psychologists can't help Max. Right now he's afraid of people, even me. Things can be different when you leave in a few months."

"In a few months?"Magnus repeated, puzzled." I am your personal assistant only for a few weeks until your personal assistant works again."

"Obviously, you won't be my assistant anymore," Lightwood said dismissively. "You won't have time for that. My son is to take arms."

Magnus began to feel that they were having two separate conversations.

"Wait, do you want me to be your son's babysitter?".He laughed a little."Are you crazy!!? I have no idea what to do with the kids,"

"You did pretty well with Max right now," Lightwood said, unconcerned. He glanced at his Rolex. "I'm giving you the rest of the day off so you can take your things and move into the house."

Magnus didn't know whether to laugh or cry. This man was the personification of every horrible authoritarian trait that Ragnor possessed, multiplied by Lightwood's natural arrogance and assumption that people would always do what he said.

"I don't recall accepting any of this," he said. "I'm in America on vacation, not to work as a babysitter"

Lightwood looked at him as if Magnus was a strange alien creature who spoke a language he did not understand.

"I will pay you ten thousand dollars a week."

A laugh came from Magnus's throat. He probably sounded a bit hysterical, but damn, he had never met a man who exasperated him as much as Alexander Lightwood.

"It must be nice to be so rich that you're willing to pay a boy you barely know ten thousand dollars a week for the privilege of living in your house, eating and playing with your son."

Lightwood's lips twisted into a sardonic smile.

"Don't tell me you're not tempted."

Magnus chuckled.

"Of course I am tempted. I'm broke. But listen, I'm not going to lie to that poor boy and let him think that I'm his mother. That will only confuse him even more. Not all the money in the world will make me do it."

"You won't have to lie about it," Lightwood said, shrugging again."My son is not stupid. He will realize that you are not his mother soon enough alone. It's hard to overlook that you don't have a pair of boobs. Even a three year old will finally notice it. All you have to do is give it a familiar face. It will be the easiest money you have ever made."

Magnus could not argue against it. But the situation was almost ridiculous: He had gone from being a tourist to being an internal spy and going from being a personal assistant to being a babysitter, all in the span of ten days.

"Fine," said Magnus.

Lightwood nodded, looking grimly satisfied, but not surprised.

Magnus suddenly wondered how many times this man had heard 'No' in his life. He was willing to bet that the number was depressingly low.

"I'll tell Iris to prepare a room for you next to Max" Lightwood said, leaving the room.

Magnus followed him.

"Okay."

"My driver will take you to your hotel and wait while you pack your things."

Magnus caught his lip between his teeth, hesitating. There was no point in lying about it; the Lightwood driver would tell him anyway.

"I am not staying in a hotel. I have been staying at Morgenstern Manor."

Lightwood's back tensed. He turned around, his eyes sharp and cold.

"Morgenstern Manor?"

Magnus met his gaze steadily.

"If there is any problem? I thought Valentine was your partner."

"How do you know the Morgenstern?" Lightwood said, ignoring Magnus's question.

Magnus looked at him curiously. For the first time, he wondered if Valentine Morgensten suspicions were not unfounded. There was something hard in Lightwood's eyes when he spoke of the Morgenstern.

"I didn't know them," said Magnus."I was supposed to stay at their friends's house, but they had to leave the country and asked the Morgenstern to let me stay at their house for a while."He grimaced."My passport  
and wallet were stolen from me at the airport, so I had no choice but to accept their hospitality."

The faint air of suspicion around Lightwood disappeared, replaced by a frown.

"You do not have family? Can't they help you?"

Magnus smiled ruefully.

"Obviously they can, but I prefer that my brothers don't know that I've already managed to have problems. I am the baby of the family and everyone can be ridiculously overprotective."

Lightwood nodded, as if that made perfect sense to him.

He pulled out his phone and brought it to his ear.

"Victor, take my assistant to Morgenstern manor. Wait while his pack. No, I'm not going back to the office today. ”At the end of the call, he looked at Magnus, as if to say,"Why are you still here and don't do what I tell you?"

Rolling his eyes with a smile, Magnus headed for the front door.

But his smile faded when he realized he would have to tell the Morgenstern couple that he couldn't do what they wanted. He could barely keep an eye on what Lightwood was doing in the office when he was no longer working in that office.

To be honest it was a relief.The entire spy business had never been good for him.He just hoped he wasn't considered a traitor for agreeing to work for Lightwood.

The thought made Magnus frown when he got into the car.

It wasn't that he owed the Morgenstern their loyalty, he didn't know them that well, but that he had been at their house for several weeks and they liked them. He liked them very much. They had helped him when he really needed it, even though they were under no obligation to do so. Then he felt ... a little bad. But he was also relieved that he wouldn't have to spy, he seemed so confused. Dirty.

Damn, I didn't know what to do. Along with Lightwood's completely insane and terrifying plan to use him as a kind of pseudo-mother for his son, Magnus wanted to bury his face in his hands and scream. What had he gotten himself into?

Magnus was still pondering this when the car pulled up in front of the Morgenstern manor.

"Thanks, it won't be long," Magnus said to the driver, exiting.

Victor shrugged and pulled out a cigarette.

"No hurry. Mr. Lightwood told me to wait for you. I will wait as long as you need."

Magnus smiled slightly and headed towards the house.

When he asked a maid where Jace was, they told him that he was in Morgenstern study with his husband.

Magnus grimaced slightly. He really hadn't wanted to see Valentine.Jace was much less intimidating than his husband, but it seemed like it wasn't Magnus's day. To be honest, although Magnus liked Morgenstern as a couple,Valentine Morgenstern puzzled him a bit. It was kind of weird, actually Magnus was pretty comfortable with Lightwood, who was just as dexterous as Valentine Morgenstern, if not more, but something about Lightwood's brand of high conceit seemed familiar and even amusing, while Valentine did,made him feel small and silly.

Magnus knocked on the door. He knew he shouldn't go in untouched after the time he'd caught Valentine and Jace kissing there.

After a while Jace yelled,

"Ahead!"

Magnus almost smiled when he saw that Jace was blushing, his hair disheveled, while Valentine shirt was buttoned wrong.

"Sorry to interrupt," he said with amusement."But I couldn't wait.I wanted to tell you that I'm going to move."

Valentine frowned.

"Jem and Tessa won't be back for a few more weeks."

"I know." Magnus ran a hand through his hair. I'm moving into Lightwood's house. Working as a babysitter for his child."

Jace and Valentine stared at him.

To his surprise,Valentine said:

"Oh. He wants to use your resemblance to his ex-wife."

"Did you know? Do you know about his son? "

Valentine nodded his head.

"There have been rumors for a while that his son is mentally handicapped ..."

"Not so," Magnus bit before he could stop himself.

Valentine gave him a strange look.

"I'm just repeating the rumor," he said calmly."I cannot vouch for its precision."

Magnus felt himself blush. He didn't know why he felt so protective of a boy he'd just met, but remembering Max's large, uncertain eyes and cherubic face made something in his heart tighten protectively.

"People say the boy was traumatized by the environment in his family,"Jace said quietly.

"What atmosphere?"

Jace seemed uncomfortable.

"They say Lightwood's wife had a drug problem," he said."And that she liked ... having fun."

Valentine grimaced.

"You can call things by name, Jace.She was a whore.But from what I heard, Lightwood wasn't going to win any Husband of the Year awards either. No wonder that boy was traumatized by such a stellar upbringing."

Magnus frowned. Lightwood had said that Max had probably been traumatized by the fact that his mother had abandoned him in an unfamiliar place, but perhaps living in such a difficult environment had also contributed. Either way, poor boy.

"Then you won't be working in the office anymore?"Jace said.

Magnus shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Apparently not." He smiled ruefully. "Sorry. I know I promised to keep an eye on him, but ..."

"You can still watch him,"Valentine said, fixing his dark eyes on him.

"Vale,"Jace said abruptly before giving Magnus a shy look." Ignore it. You do not have to do anything. Now that Lightwood is your employer, we can't exactly ask you to spy on it. It would put you in an awkward position."

"Watching someone is not the same as spying,"Valentine said."We would appreciate if you could tell us if you are doing something. That's it."

"Okay," said Magnus, grimacing inside. Too much to feel relieved. "I'll go pack my things. Thank you very much for your hospitality."

Jace nodded, shrugging his shoulders.

"Do not mention it. And you are absolutely invited to come here whenever you want, Magnus."

"Thank you," said Magnus with a smile. They really were such a lovely couple." I'll go pack now."

On the way back to Lightwood's house, Magnus reflected on Valentine Morgenstern request to keep watch order, trying to understand why he felt so uncomfortable with the whole thing.

He did not owe his allegiance to Alexander Lightwood. The man had not been remotely kind to him. The Morgenstern were good people who had done him a great favor.

So why did he still feel like he had made a mistake by agreeing to "watch" Lightwood?


	6. Malec talk

At the end of his second week as a babysitter for Max, Magnus felt himself slowly going insane.

Max was not the problem. Contrary to his father's words, he was a charming and quiet boy, at least he was charming and quiet when he didn't cling to Magnus's leg and caused an attack every time Magnus tried to leave the room.

It was more than a little awkward, but it was something he had been slowly improving as the second week came to an end.Max now seemed to take Magnus's game with only a trembling lower lip and big, sad eyes. Although that look made Magnus's chest tighten with illogical guilt, it was still an improvement over hysterical crying, so Magnus took it as encouraging progress.

No, Max was not the problem. His father was.

Lightwood was still watching him. Not as obviously as I used to, but with much more attention than normal. And since he wasn't evaluating him as a future babysitter for his son now, Magnus didn't know what the hell the guy's deal was. Magnus got a breather from the strange look only when Lightwood was at work.

"Look, what's your problem with me?" Magnus finally exploded one day.

They were in Max's playroom, and Lightwood was allegedly watching his son play with Magnus, except that his puzzling gaze was focused primarily on Magnus. It made Magnus ... strangely self-conscious. He couldn't focus on Max at all, well aware of Lightwood's attention on him.

Lightwood raised an eyebrow.

"I have no idea what you mean."

"Oh yeah?"Magnus said, keeping his voice low for Max's sake. The boy did not like loud voices."In what world is it normal to look at your child's babysitter like a jerk?"

"In the world where I pay the babysitter ten thousand dollars a week, ”Lightwood said, his voice very dry.

"I agreed to be Max's babysitter, not a gaping object."

Hazel eyes stared at him lazily.

"For ten thousand dollars a week, you will be what I want you to be."

Magnus looked at him for a moment before laughing.

"Just when I started to think you couldn't be more excruciatingly bossy, you show me I'm wrong again."

Max made a demanding sound and Magnus averted his gaze from the father to the son. Max had destroyed the tower of blocks they had built, and it seemed that he wanted to build it again, or rather, he wanted Magnus to build it.

"You can build it yourself, too, pal," Magnus said, running his fingers through the boy's soft hair and smiling at him. Max shook his head, somewhat stubborn in his expression, but remained silent.

Magnus tried not to frown. Despite all the encouraging progress in Max's behavior over the past week, he still hadn't said a word after saying the word "ma-ma." Magnus was pretty sure the boy understood speech well.Talking was something else entirely.

"You have an interesting face. So I look at you."

Blinking in confusion, Magnus looked at Lightwood. As expected, he found Lightwood already looking at him.

"An interesting face?.Are we talking about my resemblance to your ex-wife again?"

Lightwood shook his head.

"The resemblance is actually superficial," he said, scanning Magnus's face."Her face is beautiful, but she features are perfect, boring. Yours is not. At certain angles, your face looks very sharp, almost ugly, but then you turn your head a little and it looks ridiculously beautiful. It is really fascinating. I want to..."

"Than?" Magnus said when Lightwood had gone out.

"I want to draw you," Lightwood said, his gaze still fixed on Magnus's face.

Magnus looked at him in amazement.

"You are an artist?"

Lightwood snorted a laugh.

"Barely. But sometimes I draw. Why are you so surprised? Can't I have a hobby?"

"Of course you can," Magnus said, building the tower again."But billionaires generally have hobbies like sleeping or drinking."

There was fun in those hazel eyes now.

"And how many billionaires have you met?"

Magnus laughed.

"Okay, you have a point.Just you and Valentine Morgenstern, actually.But it doesn't fit the stereotype either."

He couldn't help but notice that Lightwood's eyes grew significantly colder at the mention of Morgenstern.

Magnus was wondering if he really had the nerve to ask his employer when Lightwood said:

"I want to draw you."

Magnus wrinkled his nose.

"Will I have to sit still for hours?If so, it is a difficult pass for me."

"You won't have to stay still.Just let me look at you."

Magnus chuckled."You've been doing it anyway." He shrugged.

"Okay. As long as you don't want to draw me naked or something."

Lightwood's lips twisted.

"I am not interested in seeing you naked, Magnus."

Magnus smiled, flapping his lashes exaggeratedly.

"I thought it was 'ridiculously beautiful." A part of him, a very distant part of him that wasn't currently busy flirting with the boss jerk, wondered what the hell he was doing." Are you sure you don't want to see me naked?"

"Very sure," Lightwood said wryly."I'm straight."

"Good for you," said Magnus."But what does being righteous have to do with art? Can't you be interested in drawing naked people as an artist?"

Lightwood snorted.

"Personally, I think artists who like to draw nude people only use it as an excuse to look at models. You draw something that interests you and inspires you. Art cannot be impersonal and objective."

"You've just accused hundreds of great artists of being lustful perverts."

Lightwood shrugged.

"Not necessarily lustful perverts, but you know what I mean.Why did Titian keep painting women with orange brown hair? Not because I found them objectively interesting."

Magnus laughed.

"Okay, whatever you say.I'm not going to argue with you just for the sake of arguing when I don't understand anything about art."

At that moment, Max uttered a battle cry and destroyed the nearly finished tower again, to Magnus' exasperation.

"Max," he said.

The boy smiled,hazel eyes wide and full of joy.

Magnus couldn't help but smile back. The boy was so adorable; It was impossible to be upset with him.

Lightwood cleared his throat. He stood up, looking at his watch.

"I have to go to the office, but I'll be back in the afternoon.Wait for me on the right wing of the third floor. I have a kind of study there."

"Okay," said Magnus, watching Lightwood tentatively approach his son.

"Goodbye, Max," he said, his voice significantly softer than his usual uncompromising tone.

Max gave his father a look that was a mixture of shyness and apprehension before quickly going back to his toys and acting as if his father wasn't there.

A deep groove appeared between Lightwood's eyebrows. Grimacing,he turned and left the room.

Magnus felt a little sorry for him.

When he looked at Max again, the boy was observing the place where his father had just been with a strange expression on his cherubic face.

"You should be kinder to your dad," said Magnus."He is trying."

Max looked at him and then looked at his toys again.

Magnus looked at him without impressing.

"I know you understand me, boy."

Still no reaction.

Magnus sighed. Sometimes he felt so out of his depth with Max that he wasn't sure why Lightwood was paying him.

***

After Max finally fell asleep in the late afternoon, Magnus left a maid next to the boy and made his way to the right wing of the mansion.

He wasn't sure what to expect when he finally found "a kind of study" for Lightwood.

Just a hobby, true, Magnus thought as he looked around the well-lit, well-equipped studio that many serious artists would love.

But then again, with Lightwood's money and resources, you could more than afford to indulge your every whim, even if it wasn't serious.

Magnus looked around curiously before dropping onto the comfortable sofa, ready to wait. Although Lightwood said he would be back in the afternoon, Magnus was not surprised that he had not yet arrived, he knew firsthand how much work Lightwood had. Frankly, Magnus was a little surprised that the man spent much of his busy schedule with his son. It seemed out of place for such an important and cold man, but then again, what did Magnus know about being a father?

Yawning, Magnus stretched out on the couch and pulled out his phone.

He could also reply to his brothers' text messages while waiting.

He didn't even notice falling asleep.


	7. Getting close

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Little smut between magnus and Alexander.

Alexander Lightwood had not been so irritated in a long time.

He ran a frustrated hand through his hair and then down his neck, easing the tensions there, as he walked to the room that served as a study whenever the itching to draw became impossible to ignore.

He was a busy man. It always seemed like he didn't have enough hours in the day. Art was a useless and unproductive waste of his time. But sometimes the itching to draw became too annoying and began to hinder his productivity, so he had to indulge himself. The sooner he delivered to his last fixation, the sooner he could get back to work.

Alexander entered the study and stopped abruptly.

Magnus was sleeping on the sofa.

Alexander approached, loosening and then taking off his tie.

He also took off his suit jacket and dropped it carelessly onto the chair, his eyes fixed on the young man, a boy, really, snoring softly on the leather sofa.

Magnus was lying on his belly, his face turned to Alexander. His phone was on the floor next to his hand.

Alexander unbuttoned the first two buttons of his shirt and rolled up his sleeves. He knew he should have changed, but he was too impatient for that. He picked up a sketchbook and pencil, dropped onto the couch in front of Magnus, and quickly began drawing, glancing at the boy from time to time.

A few minutes later, he tore the page out and turned it into a ball.

The second sketch was even worse than the first, and he quickly followed it to the trash.

Alexander started a third, but the problem persisted: although technically the resemblance to Magnus was unmistakable, the sketch failed to capture the elusive quality about him that had made Alexander want to draw him in the first place.

Sighing through clenched teeth, Alexander tossed the sketch in the trash, too.

He looked at the sleeping young man, his irritation increasing. His gaze swept over Magnus's peaceful face, watching every detail. Sometimes he couldn't believe he had thought Magnus looked like Lydia. The resemblance to Lydia was still there, of course, but Alexander had stopped noticing it a while ago. He couldn't really remember the last time he looked at Magnus and saw his ex-wife. It seemed that the more time he spent with the boy, the less he looked like Lydia. Objectively,Lydia was more beautiful, but her face lacked the personality that Magnus had in abundance. The closest comparison Alexander could think of was the difference between a work of art by a great artist and a poor copy made by an amateur who failed to capture the essence of the original work of art.

If Magnus looked exactly like Lydia, he wouldn't want to draw him. Alexander had never been interested in drawing his wife. He had sketched her several times, of course, when she convinced him, but he had never been obsessed with drawing her as he was obsessed with drawing this half British half asian boy. That had been the only good thing about him.

Magnus muttered something sleepy and turned to his other side, leaving Alexander staring at his lush richly colored hair. His fingers itched to paint and try to get the correct hair color, which was strange for him. He rarely painted, generally satisfied with black and white sketches.

Everything about his fixation on this boy was fucking weird, period.

"Magnus," he said.

Magnus got up and nearly fell to the ground in his haste to sit down.Hazel eyes flickered to Alexander sleepily before looking around, as if he now realized where he was.

"Oh. I fell asleep ”he said before his eyes returned to Alexander, now more alert.

He had such a strange face, Alexander thought, looking at him with supreme irritation, but unable to look away. That face was a study in contradictions: Magnus's thick brown brows contrasted with his beautiful golden eyes, beautiful hair, and almost delicate features.He have soft pink lips that can't look away. That face could look like a soft and strange one at a time, and incredibly charming when you look at it a little more.

Alexander looked at his sketchbook again and started drawing again. Maybe I should try ... Yes, like this ...

"Hello to you, too," Magnus said, yawning."My day was fine, thanks for asking."

Alexander didn't know why he let the boy be so cheeky with him. Any other employee of his would not even dream of acting like this around him. Magnus felt too comfortable around him, which was ... unnerving. Alexander had never given Magnus a reason to think that it would be acceptable to behave this way.

He looked back at his model and found Magnus looking at his hands with a strange expression.

"Than?"Alexander said, his attention again on the sketch. While Magnus's face was still not quite correct, it was better than his previous attempts.

"I think I am attracted to you."

Alexander's pencil froze.

He looked up.

Magnus bit his lip. He seemed ... puzzled.

"I'm not gay," said Alexander.

Magnus shrugged his shoulders.

"Neither do I." He made a funny face. "I mean, I thought i wasn't gay. I thought it was asexual, actually. But wanting to lick your forearms probably means I'm not."He smiled, looking puzzled and intrigued, as if he hadn't told his boss he wanted to lick his forearms. What the fuck, really.

"Are you always that weird or am I just getting special treatment?" Alexander said, squashing the inappropriate urge to laugh.

Magnus wrinkled his nose. He looked filthy adorable. A young man of twenty shouldn't look adorable, what the hell.

"I don't think it's that weird," said Magnus. "I only say what I think. What's wrong with it?"

"It could be a little bad when you tell your employer you want to lick his forearms."

Magnus laughed.

"Sorry, I'm just confused, I guess.Attraction is a very strange feeling for me."

Alexander stared at him.

"Have you never had sex?"

"I did," Magnus said, grimacing."Something like that. Yes and no. But I never went ... you see, they were objectively handsome. But I've never looked at a person and I wanted to put my mouth on it, you know? It's like ... I wanted sex in theory, but as soon as I got naked with someone, I really didn't want to touch it. I felt uncomfortable more than anything."A look of frustration appeared on Magnus's face." Am I making sense? Anyway, I never understood the fuss about sex, to be honest. It felt like a stressful chore every time I tried to fuck someone. ”He smiled wryly."But maybe I'm not gay. Maybe I just have a weird forearm fetish. That can be one thing, right?"

"You are ridiculous," Alexander said, drawing Magnus's mouth. The shape was a little off ...

He studied the original carefully. A pink tongue emerged to lick the corner of his mouth.

"Do you have to look at my lips?You're not helping, you know that."

"I thought you only had a fetish for my forearms," Alexander said, smiling faintly.

"Well, let's just say it seems increasingly unlikely," Magnus said with a laugh in his voice. "Can I suck your dick?"

Alexander's gaze snapped up.

Magnus met his gaze squarely.

"Just as an experiment, to see if I really like it?"He laughed." Than? Very rare?"

Alexander turned his eyes to the half-finished sketch.

"I'm going to pretend we didn't have this conversation."

"Oh, come on! What guy rejects a blowjob?"

Alexander pinched the bridge of his nose. The whole conversation would be fun if it weren't so maddening.

"I'm straight, and I'm not at all attracted to you."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Magnus said."A mouth is a mouth, right?"

"Not really. I am very selective about where I place my cock, and a man's mouth is not my choice."

"So you're homophobic," said Magnus with a sigh." i thought you could be, but I hoped you weren't. Now I feel a little bad for continuing to want to suck your cock."

Damn, this was ridiculous.

"First of all, I'm not homophobic," said Alexander. "I don't know where you got that idea from. Not wanting to have sex with a man doesn't make me homophobic."

"You don't like Morgenstern."

Alexander looked at the sketch again.

"That's not why I don't like them," he said evenly.

He could feel Magnus's curious gaze on him.

"Why don't you like them, then?"

"That is not in your interest."

Magnus sighed.

"And in second place?"

"Sorry?"

"You said, 'first.' That means there is a second point."

"Second, you should never tell your boss that you want to suck his cock. That would have fired you if you had another employer. Not everyone is as forgiving as I am."

Magnus snorted.

"Indulgent is not the word I would use to describe you. And I am not stupid. I would never say something like that if I had another boss. I told you because I knew you wouldn't fire me for something like that."

Alexander looked at him again.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Magnus cocked his head to the side.

"I think I know you pretty well at this point. You're a lot like my older brother: damn bossy, but actually quite smooth on the inside. ”Magnus wrinkled his nose curiously. "Well, he is not as arrogant as you, but my point is valid."

Alexander almost laughed. The boy had no idea.

"I'm not 'soft'. The only reason you still have your job is because my son needs you."

Magnus's lips twisted, his eyes sparkled with amusement.

"That just proves my point, doesn't it?"

Alexander looked at him with a pinched expression.

"Caring for my son hardly makes me soft."

To his surprise, Magnus nodded.

-I know. I just ... ”He smiled sheepishly." It's hard to explain why I feel so comfortable with you, actually. I just do it. If it makes you feel better, most of the people in the office seemed to think you were very intimidating. Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Keep smiling like that." Turning to a new page in his sketchbook, Alexander quickly began drawing. Yes, Magnus's lips looked a little thinner when he smiled, and there was a barely noticeable dimple in the right corner ...

Magnus laughed.

"Than? I can't force myself to keep smiling just because you say so."

"Why not?"

Magnus rolled his eyes.

"I think you were born in the wrong century, friend.I know real lords who are less arrogant than you. There must be something wrong with me to make you look attractive."

Alexander snorted a laugh.

"Stop coming to me.I'm not interested."

Magnus gave an exaggerated sigh.

"Take a look, the only person who attracted me would not be interested in me. Just my luck I guess."

Although he was smiling, Alexander could see something like a real discouragement in Magnus's body language. Magnus was ... upset. Really annoying, no matter how brilliantly he smiled.

Alexander clenched his jaw, not knowing why he suddenly felt like he had kicked a puppy.

"Are you really in a bad mood because I won't let you suck my dick?"

Magnus stroked his knuckles against his lips and cocked his head.

"I think I'm in a bad mood," he said with a sad smile. "But it's not about not being able to suck your dick. In all seriousness, I didn't expect you to let me do it, I understand that you're straight, and I'd hate to be that guy, the aggressive guy who can't take no for an answer. It's just that… ”His eyebrows furrowed, his smile fading."My sexuality has always confused me. I'm still not sure what I am, and I would have liked to know if you really attract me or just imagine it."

"How can you imagine it?Either you are attracted to someone or they don't."

"Not so with me," Magnus said, his lips twisted. "I thought I was attracted to the people I tried to have sex with, but hey, I was wrong. As soon as the clothes disappeared, all I felt was discomfort and the need to run. ”Two pink spots appeared on his cheeks. "I couldn't even get an erection."

Alexander put down his sketchbook and looked at it curiously.

"Have you seen a doctor?"

Magnus glared at him.

"I am not powerless," he said stiffly. "I can masturbate."

"Have you seen a doctor?" Alexander repeated.

"Yes," said Magnus, looking away. "I'm healthy. There is nothing wrong with me physically. The doctor stated that it is most likely that everything is in my head: that I was too nervous during my first time, and then that failure stressed me every time I tried to have sex  
again. Either that or I'm really asexual, maybe demisexual."

"Have you discussed that with anyone?"

Magnus shook his head.

"Nobody knows. Not even my family. I've been thinking about telling my brothers that I'm probably asexual, but ... But now I feel so weird with you. And I'm not sure what the hell to think about anymore. ”His shoulders slumped, his lips puckered, each line of his body radiating defeat. He seemed small, bewildered and lost.

Alexander's lips thinned. He told himself that it was not his problem. He told himself that he had no reason to feel protective of this ridiculous strange adroble boy with no brain-to-mouth filter.

It didn't work. He didn't like seeing Magnus upset. That puppy-kicked look on Magnus's face was extremely irritating.

"Come here," said Alexander.

Magnus blinked in bewilderment, but for once, he didn't contradict him and did as he was told.

"Than?"He said, stopping in front of Alexander's chair.

"Sit down," said Alexander.

Magnus's mouth worked quietly for a moment as he looked between Alexander's face and his lap.

"Like in your lap?"

Alexander nodded his head.

"Why?"

"There are ways to find out if you're feeling attraction without sucking my cock," Alexander said dryly." Sit down."

Moistening his lips with his tongue, Magnus climbed onto his lap.

At first it was extremely awkward, with Magnus twitching and twisting until Alexander finally tired of seeing him and positioned the boy to his satisfaction. Magnus stood still for a moment before sinking against Alexander's chest and laying his head on his shoulder.

Alexander looked over his shoulder at the opposite wall, wondering when this had become his life. He had another man on his lap. Although Magnus didn't weigh much, he was slightly heavier than any woman who had sat on his lap. But he was not uncomfortable. The way it fit against him ... there was something inexplicably nice about it.

"Do you want to run away now?" Alexander said, putting a hand on Magnus's lower back.

Magnus was very quiet. Then he moved, until his nose pressed against the side of Alexander's neck.

"Nope. It feels good. ”he inhaled shakily." I love how you smell."

Having another boy caress his neck. It didn't feel as unpleasant as Alexander had hoped.

Alexander ran his fingers through Magnus's hair and felt Magnus's body become completely flexible, soft and relaxed. Magnus was breathing unevenly, rubbing his face against Alexander's throat like a loving and careless kitten. If it were a kitten, it would probably purr, Alexander thought, amused.

"I want more," Magnus whispered, sounding surprised. "I want to lick your Adam's apple. May l?"

Once again Alexander wondered how this had become in his life. He was straight. As straight as the most. Any other man would have been hit by this shit, but this ridiculous boy made him incredibly forgiving. Magnus was right: he was really getting soft.

"Go ahead," Alexander said with a sigh.

Something damp and soft pressed against his neck. Magnus's tongue. And then there were lips and teeth.

"Magnus," Alexander growled.

"Sorry," Magnus murmured, licking the place he had just sucked on and writhing closer to him. "I don't know what happened to me. I just wanted…"

Alexander said wryly:

"I think we can safely conclude that you are not really asexual."

"But I'm not hard yet," Magnus said conversationally.

Damn hell.

Alexander clenched his teeth.

"You are not a teenager."You don't have to get tough on something as innocent as this."

"I suppose," said Magnus. He sounded unconvinced.

Alexander sighed.

"Well. Let's try something else. ”He slipped his hand under Magnus's shirt and let it slide over the smooth expanse of Magnus's back.

Magnus made a small sound.

"You have incredible hands," he murmured against Alexander's neck." It feels good."

"You still not hard?" Alexander said, unable to believe they were really having this conversation. It was a feeling he had all too often around Magnus.

"Nope. You'll have to try harder. ”Magnus laughed at his own play on words.

Alexander's lips twisted.

"You're a boy." But he slipped his hand around Magnus's rib cage until his thumb brushed against a nipple."Still nothing?"

Magnus held his breath.

"Do it again."

Alexander's thumb touched the nipple again, lightly stroking it. He felt it harden.

"Oh," Magnus said breathlessly, before taking off his shirt. Plus.

Alexander looked at his bare chest for a moment, it was toned, smooth and very masculine, before raising his other hand as well. He played with those hard nipples doing nothing and watched as Magnus gradually crumbled. The sight was fascinating: Magnus's green eyes slowly glazed, a blush spread across his face, and his lips parted as he breathed shakily.

Magnus's gaze seemed torn between Alexander's face and Alexander's fingers on his own nipples.

"Can you do something for me, Alexander?"

Alexander. He had never thought that his name could sound like that.

He nodded.

Biting his lower lip, Magnus looked at him with a mixture of shyness, confidence, and debauchery.

"Can you suck on them a little?Only a little?"

As in a dream, Alexander found himself nodding. Whatever you want.

He lifted the boy up, straddling him on his lap so Magnus chest was closer to Alexander's mouth. He tilted his head and brought a small nipple to his mouth.

Magnus groaned, his fingers buried in Alexander's hair.

"Damn, more."

Alexander obeyed. He sucked and licked at Magnus's nipples, alternating between them, and he felt Magnus jerk in his arms, Magnus's low moans the only sound in the room.

Very soon, Magnus began to squirm against his mouth. There was an unmistakable lump against Alexander's stomach. When Alexander looked down, he could see the head of Magnus's cock peeking out of his shorts. The view was strange and obscene, but strangely hard not to look at.

Alexander supposed that the experiment was successful; there was now no doubt that Magnus was not asexual. It should stop and drive it away. But it would be cruel to stop when Magnus was clearly having fun, whispering Alexander, Alexander, Alexander, please, between breathy moans and tightening Alexander's hair in his hand.

He also stroked his ego; Alexander could not deny it. So he continued to lick and nibble on Magnus's pink nipples, allowing the young man to press against his stomach, Magnus's moans stimulating him."Oh god, oh god, please, Alexander."

It wasn't entirely a surprise when Magnus suddenly tensed against him, his hand gripping Alexander's hair, and he came with a moan.

Alexander winced at the wet feeling.Hhe thought, not without humor, that he really should have changed before coming here.

"Thanks," Magnus finally said, still sounding a little breathless, but more like him. He kissed Alexander's cheek."You are the best boss I've ever had."

Alexander snorted, gently pushing him off his lap.

"And how many bosses have you had?"

Magnus smirked.

"One." He grimaced, looking at himself, Disgusting. " I need to take a shower. And Max probably woke up already. ”He glanced at the sketchbook. "Finished?"

"For today, yes," Alexander said, very surprised at how uncomfortable he felt.

Magnus gave him a shy smile at the door.

"You should change.Sorry for that shirt. It suits you." And then he was gone.

Alexander quickly unbuttoned his shirt and took it off, wondering why he wasn't being weird about it.

He shook off his thoughts and headed to the next bathroom. If he didn't feel uncomfortable, he wasn't going to find reasons why he should be.

Also, it had been a unique favor for a confused boy, so there was no point in dwelling on it.

Just once.


	8. "I like it hard"

Magnus had never thought that friendship was possible, but that was exactly what seemed to be happening to them.

"They" being Alexander and him.

Lightwood was no longer Lightwood. He was Alexander. It was hard to think of him as Lightwood after the man had given him the first orgasm in Magnus's life: the first orgasm with someone else.

Not that all of this made his sexuality less confusing, but one thing was clear: He wasn't asexual.He had loved Alexander, he wanted his hands and mouth on his body.

He still did it.

I hoped Alexander didn't know; He would hate to ruin the confusingly easy company between them with his inappropriate lust. Magnus knew that Alexander was straight. Alexander had touched him as a favor, nothing more. Wanting more would just be greedy.

The problem was ... The problem was that Magnus was beginning to realize why people gave so much importance to sex. Since he had proven how good it could be to have an orgasm with someone else, he wanted it again. And again, and again, and again. It felt like he had nothing but dirty thoughts every time his gaze fell on Alexander's firm mouth, his nipples hardening and they yearned to be touched, sucked, again.

Magnus had never masturbated so much in his life.

Fortunately, no one knew his dirty thoughts. At least he hoped Alexander didn't know.

"Max smiled at me today," Alexander said suddenly, snapping him out of his thoughts.

Magnus turned his head and looked at the older man beside him. Alexander was wearing a black T-shirt that hugged his muscular torso and a pair of dark jeans. The appearance was casual, but somehow Alexander still didn't look casual. He looked too good to hang out at home in front of the television. But again, Magnus was beginning to realize that Alexander Lightwood seemed nothing more than appetizing at all hours of the day. It was the man, not the clothing. Even Alexander's facial hair that had gone beyond stubble and was on its way to beard territory did not make him look sloppy; it only accentuated his strong jaw and the hazel of his eyes. Magnus had always envied men like this: those who could look good effortlessly and stylishly without trying.

"Did he ?" He said belatedly, a little embarrassed that he was so distracted by something as superficial as good looks.

Alexander nodded, his eyes on television. His lips twisted.

"But then he ran away when I tried to play with him, so I guess it didn't mean much."

Magnus felt a pang of sympathy.

He hit Alexander on his hard stomach.

"Hey, none of that," he said." If he smiled at you, it really is something to celebrate. It is progress."

Alexander turned his head, a wry look on his face.

"You don't need to comfort me, Magnus. I am an adult man and I am perfectly aware that it is my fault."

"Which way?"

"I'm not to blame for the way he acts now," said Alexander."Lydia and I… we used to scream and fight a lot in front of him, and sometimes those fights got really ugly. ”He smiled ruefully. It didn't reach his eyes. "I am not good at controlling my anger. I let myself go. Don't look at me like that, I never hit her, but…” Alexander grimaced." I've been told that I can be very cruel verbally when I'm angry, and it's probably true. I reduced her to tears countless times. Max was too young to understand what was being said, definitely too young to understand that his mother was not an irreproachable victim, but he probably looked like this to a young child. No wonder he is afraid of me."

"Oh," said Magnus, looking down. He blinked in confusion, realizing that he had been tracing the shape of Alexander's impressive abs through his shirt.

Not knowing what to say to Alexander's words, Magnus said what he had in mind.

"How do you get a six-pack like this when you spend so much time behind your desk?It is strange, and really unfair."

"Good genes," Alexander said with a haughty look that had no right to be so attractive.

"You're so full of shit," Magnus said, tracing the hard muscles with his finger." It sucks that you say you got this six-pack at birth as Lightwood."

"That's not the way to talk to your boss," Alexander said, but his hazel eyes were laughing." And fingering your boss isn't exactly right either."

Magnus widened his eyes and made his face more innocent.

"But I didn't even put my hand under your shirt!"

Alexander laughed.

"You are shameless."

"Just because you let me escape," Magnus said with a smile, looking Alexander in the eye. He felt as comfortable with Alexander as he felt comfortable with only his brothers, although the comparison was ... disgusting, considering everything.

Damn, maybe he needed a therapist. There must be something wrong with being attracted to a man who had such similar ways to his own older brother. Freud would probably have a picnic with him.

"Than? "Alexander said, very perceptive.

Magnus grimaced.

"I just realized that it's quite messy that I can be attracted to a man who shares so many common traits with my older brother."

Alexander did not laugh at him. He seemed to really take it seriously before speaking.

"I think I've read somewhere that women often end up marrying men who look like their fathers, and men often end up marrying women who remind them of their mothers. It doesn't mean anything gross. If you love someone, you usually think their features are good and attractive. Didn't you say Ragnor practically raised you?"

Magnus nodded, more than a little relieved. "That made sense."

It was good to know that he wasn't secretly into incest or anything gross like that. Apparently Ragnor had brainwashed his thinking that a commanding attitude was a good trait in a man.

"I think ... I think the fact that you share some personality traits with Ragnor is the reason I feel so comfortable with you.But it is separate from sexual attraction."

"Maybe the fact that I feel so comfortable with you only makes me relax and feel the attraction without wanting to run away? "Magnus chuckled, a little self-conscious. "I don't make much sense, do I?"

Alexander smiled slightly.

"You rarely do."

"Hey!" Magnus said with an exaggerated pout.

Alexander smiled more, tapping Magnus on the nose with his finger.

"You're lucky to be so endearing, or I would have fired you a long time ago for sexual harassment."

Magnus smiled at him.

"Are you saying you won't fire me if I really put my hand under your shirt?I really want to put my hand under your shirt."

Alexander looked at the ceiling.

"I don't know why I put up with this."

"You like me," Magnus said, his smile widening when Alexander didn't deny it.

"You are fun, I suppose," Alexander said.

"You like me; Don't deny it, ”Magnus said, lifting Alexander's shirt to look at his abs. He whistled a little. "Nice."

"I have never felt so objectified in my life," Alexander said wryly."Do you want to feel something? Do not be shy."

Magnus laughed and did exactly that. He stroked Alexander's flat, muscular stomach, fascinated by the warmth, firmness, and texture. His fingers traced the hard muscles before moving to the trail of dark hair that disappeared at Alexander's waist. He licked his dry lips.

"Would it be too strange if I put my mouth here?" He said, stroking Alexander's happy trail. He felt Alexander's muscles contract under his touch.

"You are amazing."

Magnus looked up and smiled shyly.

"I am? "He said, looking into Alexander's eyes. Damn, even after a month of exposure, Alexander Lightwood's gaze was still incredibly hard not to be drawn. Being around him always felt like a gravitational pull. "Sorry. This is so new to me, wanting to touch someone. I'm probably being a weirdo about it."

Alexander's expression became a little pinched.

"For God's sake, stop making that face."

"What a face? "Magnus said, cocking his head.

Alexander's jaw clenched.

"The one you were doing.Well. Ahead. I will be your laboratory rat."

Magnus smiled at him and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"You are the best boss of all!. I take away all the bad thoughts I had about you when I was your personal assistant."

Alexander just huffed.

He leaned back against the sofa and saw Magnus kneel down in front of him.

"Christ, this is strange," he said, fixing his gaze on the ceiling again.

Magnus laughed, but when he pressed his mouth against Alexander's stomach, his amusement disappeared.

The skin against his lips was so warm and soft that Magnus had to kiss him.He ran his lips parted across Alexander's abdomen, his eyes closed.He rubbed his face against Alexander's happy trail, almost moaning at the avalanche of sensations, his tongue sticking out to savor the skin. Although he felt his muscles jump and tense under his touch, Magnus was not prepared for the hiss that came from Alexander's mouth.

Opening his eyes and looking down, he found a lump stretching Alexander's jeans.

Slowly Magnus looked up.

Alexander looked at him with an expression halfway between sad and funny. He shrugged.

"Any red-blooded man will get a little hard to be touched like that."

Magnus looked at the bulge in Alexander's jeans.

"Do you call this a little harsh?" What a way to make a boy feel self-conscious.

Speaking of tough ... He was half tough himself, just for kissing and touching Alexander's stomach. That had never happened to him. "Is the experiment over?" Alexander said, looking at the ceiling intentionally, with a half smile on his lips.

Magnus should say yes. He knew it. He had already pushed Alexander out of his comfort zone. Wanting more would just be greedy.

I should say yes. He did not do it.

Instead, Magnus pressed his mouth against the bulge that tightened Alexander's jeans and muttered:

"The experiment is over. But what about a small side quest?"

A laugh.

"Only you would call sucking your boss dick as a side mission, boy."

"You're offended, I called him little," said Magnus, smiling at Alexander." And don't call me boy when I'm touching your dick. That is just creepy."

"Well, you are a child compared to me," Alexander said dryly." You were nine years old when I was your age."

Magnus wrinkled his nose.

"What a strange way to do this."

Alexander snorted.

"Our age difference is the least important reason this is strange."

Magnus unbuttoned Alexander's fly.

"Who cares? I want to know what it feels like to suck a dick when I really want to. Your dick seems to be on board with this idea."Alexander sighed.

"I'm not gay," he said, but he wasn't pushing him away.

Magnus pulled out his half-hard cock and stroked it, making Alexander whistle and glare at him.

Magnus shot him an innocent look.

"You don't have to be gay to let me suck your dick. I'm also not sure I'm gay. But does it matter? It doesn't have to mean anything. ”He frowned, suddenly realizing he was being aggressive. "Or do you really not want it? If you feel uncomfortable, I will obviously stop."

Alexander just looked at him with a pinched expression, vaguely irritated. Despite his obvious irritation, his dick didn't seem to be softening at all, firm and hot in Magnus's grip.

"I don't know what it's about that makes it impossible to say no to you."

"Taking that as a yes,"Magnus smiled and took Alexander's dick in his mouth. He hummed appreciatively: although Alexander's cock was long, it wasn't too thick, so sucking was comfortable enough for his jaw. It fit perfectly in his mouth, even though he had to wrap his hand around the base. He shook his head up and down, trying to understand if he liked sucking on it.

He did, Magnus decided after a moment. There was something exciting about this act, of being on your knees in front of Alexander and sucking his dick with wet and obscene noises. It excited him. Feeling Alexander's dick tighten even further in his mouth felt incredibly gratifying. It made him feel good, like he was doing something right, doing the right thing.

"I do it well?" Magnus said, getting up to breathe. He continued stroking Alexander's cock, watching him fascinated.

"Are you asking me to rate your blowjob skills?" Alexander said, a smile in his voice, but there was something else there too.

Magnus looked up and felt the heat rise to his crotch when he saw Alexander's watchful gaze on his face. Looking Alexander in the eye, he gave the tip of his dick a kitty lick. Alexander's hazel eyes turned a little glassy, but remained fixed on him.

"Don't do it," Magnus said, feeling flushed for no reason. He had always found Alexander's heavy, intense gaze a little overwhelming, and now it was doubly so. He stroked Alexander's dick, only to do something with his hands. He pressed his tongue against the bottom of his head, eagerly watching for any sign that Alexander had lost his composure. He was rewarded with the darkening of Alexander's gaze and his labored breathing, but other than that Alexander still seemed too serene for his liking.

"Don't rate me," Magnus murmured as he rubbed his cheek against Alexander's dick. "I'm probably terrible at this. I have no idea what I'm doing. This is just the second dick I have ever sucked and the first I have enjoyed. Last time I almost closed my eyes and thought of England."

I expected Alexander to have fun, I wanted him to feel fun. Magnus wasn't sure why he felt this way, why he wanted Alexander to think he was funny, but to his disappointment, there was no hint of amusement in Alexander's eyes. In any case, Alexander's gaze became sharper, harder.

Then Magnus felt a great hand settle on his head, Alexander's fingers brushing his ear.

Magnus bowed to the touch, trembling. Somehow it felt even more intimate than having Alexander's dick in his mouth.

God, he felt ... He wanted this man to love him. I felt like I would do anything for that.

Anything.

"Tell me what to do," Magnus murmured.

***  
"Tell me what to do."

Alexander looked at Magnus, blood running down his dick and getting harder on Magnus's hand. Damn hell.

This boy was unknowingly pressing all his correct buttons. Or rather, all the wrong ones.

This is sick, Alexander. Are you sick. The memory of his ex-wife's voice flashed through his mind and Alexander winced, walking away. Lydia opinion didn't matter. It hadn't mattered then and sure as hell didn't matter now. Alexander knew that his sexual preferences were not the most normal or politically correct, but he had slept with enough women to know that he was not the only person with that type of fetish. Some of his one-night standings enjoyed how controlling he was in bed, his tendency to bruise, his tendency to be very rough during sex, his aggressiveness, and his desire to completely dominate his sexual partner.

They didn't even know half.

They didn't know how much worse it was if he was really interested in more than just an overnight adventure.

His first girlfriend Kat had not had fun.

"Look, don't take it the wrong way. You're ... exciting in bed, but I'm not like that, okay? You are too intense for me. I want someone more normal."

Intense. That was the word that most women had used over the years when their relationships fell apart and burned down.

One of them, Ester had not been as discreet as Kat.

"You scare me, Alec,"she had said as she broke off their engagement."Like, different styles for different people and all that, but it is not normal to want to own your girlfriend. You want your wife to be your possession, body, heart and soul. It can turn you on, but it scares me. This is the 21st century. I am not a thing, and I am not willing to make my life revolve around a man's wishes, no matter how much I love him. I am not anyone's possession. I feel like I'm suffocating when I'm with you."

Alexander had really liked Ester, and his breakup, and her words, had left a lasting impression.

So when he met Lydia a few years later, he tried to control himself, pretending to be a normal, modern man with normal, discreet, and politically correct desires. For a time, things had been ... fine. She got pregnant and they got married, and while Alexander felt he was living a lie, he didn't want to lose his wife too, so he clenched his teeth and kept pretending. Until she tricked him, and then his house of cards collapsed.

It turned out that Alexander had not been the only one pretending to be someone who was not. Lydia had also been pretending to be a loving and dedicated wife. The real Lydia was not interested in being a housewife and a mother. The real Lydia wanted to have fun. And for her "fun" meant parties, men and drugs.

"Tell me what to do," Magnus said again, taking him back to the present.

Alexander clenched his jaw, taking a deep breath to clear the mist of excitement caused by those words.

"This isn't about me," he said in a cut voice. "Do what you want."

Magnus frowned, but did not argue. He returned to the tip of Alexander's cock awkward licks that were more curious than sexual. It was painfully obvious how inexperienced he was. He went straight to Alexander's cock, making him harder than he had a right to put on.

Damn hell.

In hindsight, you probably should have expected Magnus's inexperience to push his buttons. Of course he would love for Magnus to be so inexperienced. Of course he would love for his dick to be the first Magnus had enjoyed sucking. Of course, all of that would feed the fucking primitive animal that wore the skin of a modern man. Of course it would excite him, regardless of Magnus's distinct lack of tits and pussy.

And that was another thing: He wasn't as disgusted by the idea of having sex with a man as he would have been if it had been someone other than this ridiculous adorable boy who said ridiculous things, disrespected him at every turn, and looked like a puppy kicked when Alexander indicated he didn't want it.

That still didn't explain how he ended up in this situation: sitting in his movie theater with his fly open and his cock out for this boy to suck on. For his son's babysitter to suck on, Jesus fucked Christ.

It wasn't as if Alexander had thought of himself as good and healthy, but what it felt like to see his son's babysitter bring his dick to his mouth was ...

Fuck.

The wet heat around his cock felt good, of course, but Alexander couldn't deny that visual and mental stimulation far outshone Magnus's amateur efforts. He liked how eager the boy was for him, anxious and sloppy, saliva everywhere, as he fucked his mouth up and down Alexander's length, his pink lips wide open.

Alexander looked at him fascinated, barely holding back. He wanted to ram his cock into Magnus's throat. He wanted to see those green, mischievous, tear-filled eyes, to feel Magnus's throat tighten around his cock. He wanted to slap Magnus in the face before spreading his pre-cum and then shoving his cock into that mouth. He wanted to grab Magnus's hair and fuck him until Alexander's cock was the only thing that existed for him.

But he couldn't.

I would not do it.

It wasn't such a big cocoon. I would never hurt anyone without their fully informed consent.

Also, this was not really sex. The boy was just curious. This would not go anywhere. Alexander was straight; He would be straight again as soon as this was over. He was excited because Magnus was pressing his buttons, not because he was suddenly on the men.

Magnus put down his dick.

"I must be really terrible at this," he said, narrowing his eyes. "You're hardly out of breath."

Was he pouting? He had no right to be so cute.

Alexander hit him on the nose with his thumb.

"You are not completely terrible. I'm just an adult man, not your age partner. It takes more to turn me on than a very mediocre blowjob."

Magnus frowned.

"I withdraw my words. You're still a jerk and I hate you."

Alexander smiled, amused despite himself. He liked this boy. A little too much, actually, or they wouldn't be in this situation. He had little patience with people he didn't like.

"So what turns you on?" Magnus said, absently stroking Alexander's dick, his gaze fixed on Alexander.

"Than?" Alexander said, clearing his throat a little.

"That excites you? "Magnus repeated, licking his beautiful, swollen lips. "Do you think you can say things like that and I'll let it go? I am an Bane."

"What is that supposed to mean? "Alexander said, his mouth twitching as he looked at the stubborn, determined expression on Magnus's face.

"I have 4 brothers," said Magnus. "We are a competitive group. So tell me. What can I do to make this blowjob better than just mediocre?"

Alexander studied him.

I knew I shouldn't even consider it. It was one thing to please the boy because it amused him, and it was completely different to tell Magnus what had really turned him on.

"I like it hard," he said, squinting at Magnus's expression." I like to be the aggressor. I like to make it hurt."

Magnus didn't even blink.

He just looked at Alexander for a long moment, his face slightly pink.

His Adam's apple swayed.

"How much?"

"Than?"Alexander said.

"How much do you like to make it hurt?"

Alexander ran his fingers through Magnus's hair as he contemplated her response.

"Not so much," he said finally." I am not so sadistic. Pain for pain is not the point. I like the dynamic, the power trip — and my partner's feeling of absolute and total confidence."

Alexander did not say so, as it was irrelevant in this case.

"Okay," said Magnus softly."Let's do it. How do you love me."

Alexander's cock, which had softened considerably since Magnus stopped sucking it, went to the full mast again.

Alexander cleared his throat.

"Just relax and let me do all the work."

Magnus nodded and did as he was told, looking at him expectantly.

Alexander looked at him for a moment before straightening up. Gone was his posture lying against the sofa. He sat on the edge of the sofa, cradled Magnus's face with his hands, and watched a lovely blush spread across Magnus's face before taking Magnus's mouth to his erect dick and giving it to him. He groaned softly as heat covered his aching dick. Alexander tilted the boy's face the way he wanted, at an angle that allowed him to push deeper into the wet heat. He felt Magnus choke slightly, his throat trying to adjust to its considerable length. Alexander hissed at the sensation of incredible tension around his cock, greedily assimilating Magnus's wide-eyed and overwhelmed expression. Damn, he looked beautiful with his mouth full of his cock.

He withdrew and went back inside. He pushed him closer, demanding more. Magnus groaned, tears welling up from his golden eyes. But he only opened his mouth wider, closed his eyes when Alexander's cock began to fuck him wet and cozy mouth.

"Tap me on the knee if you want me to stop," Alexander growled, burying his hands in Magnus's hair again and pulling him to his cock to face his hard thrusts.

Magnus did not tap him. He allowed Alexander to use his mouth the way he wanted, wonderfully flexible and eager to please him. It drove Alexander absolutely crazy. He found himself thrusting into Magnus's mouth at a dizzying pace, half bent in his effort to dig deeper, fuck harder. He snuggled so close that his chest arched over Magnus's head, and his moans left his mouth as Magnus's throat tightened around him. Damn, this felt so good, and the muffled sounds and moans the boy was making around his cock excited him even more.

"Good boy," Alexander praised him, stroking Magnus's ears, his cheeks, before placing his hands on Magnus's throat.

He squeezed lightly and a moan came from Magnus's mouth. It was not a moan of anguish.

Intrigued, Alexander clenched his throat tighter, pounding so deep inside that he could feel his own cock from outside, dammit, damn hell. Alexander's hips moved faster and faster, his hands tightening on the boy's neck. Fuck-

He came in with a groan, squeezing the crotch into Magnus's face and spilling deep into Magnus's throat. His orgasm seemed to go on forever, his body and voice were out of control. It didn't help that Magnus kept sucking, as if waiting for him to come a second time.

When Alexander managed to open his eyes, he found Magnus between his crotches, his cheek pressed against Alexander's hypersensitive cock. Magnus still seemed overwhelmed, his eyes closed and his breathing shaky.

"Was I too rude?" Alexander said with a grimace, brushing his thumb against his cheek.

Magnus opened his eyes and Christ. They seemed completely out of focus, glassy and full of lust. Magnus had truly loved what Alexander did to him.

His stomach clenched, Alexander ran his fingers through Magnus's hair, watching Magnus clear his eyes, little by little.

"You're good?" Alexander said.

Magnus frowned thoughtfully, as if assessing his own state of mind, before a small crooked smile appeared on his face. He nodded, his gaze dropping before darting back to Alexander's.

"So it was better than mediocre?" -Said. At least Alexander supposed that was what he said. His voice was half muffled, hoarse, and barely recognizable.

Magnus's eyes widened. He looked at Alexander and cleared his throat several times.

Alexander laughed.

"Sorry," he said, settling in and quickly making his way. "I will tell Victor to bring you something for your sore throat."

"Do not you dare!" Magnus hissed, blushing.

"Don't worry, I won't tell him that you have fucked your throat sucking on my dick. I am not suicidal. You will have my balls for this. He has taken a liking to you."

Magnus stood up and adjusted himself.

"I'll take care of this," he said, almost defiantly.

"You don't have to go," Alexander said, turning his gaze back to television. He patted the spot next to him." Take a seat and finish."

That doesn't look comfortable at all.

He almost expected Magnus to leave anyway, but he seemed genuinely determined to act as if what they had done was perfectly normal and nothing to be ashamed of. Alexander hid his smile when Magnus dropped to his side and reached for his zipper.

Alexander kept his gaze on the television as Magnus jerked off beside him.

Or tried.

After a while Alexander sighed and said:

"Relax, Magnus."

"I can't," Magnus said, his frustration clear in his voice. "I want to come, but I'm also ... something."

"You are too nervous," said Alexander. "You have reached your peak and cannot relax enough to cum."

Magnus grunted affirmatively.

Alexander wondered for a moment if he really should, before putting an arm on the back of the sofa behind Magnus's head and looking at him."Come here."

Magnus looked down before shooting Alexander a look that somehow managed to be shy and anxious.

He did strange things to Alexander inside.

He pulled Magnus toward him and arranged for the young man to snuggle against him comfortably, his head on Alexander's chest.

"Go ahead," Alexander said when he felt Magnus relax in him." Touch yourself, ”he murmured into Magnus's ear.

H felt him tremble. Then, Magnus slid his hand down and wrapped it around his erection.

Alexander did not look. He held it loosely against him as Magnus touched himself.

It felt strangely not strange. Distantly Alexander realized how inappropriate what they were doing was. They were in a semi-public movie theater. Despite the late hour, there were at least a few maids still working. Any of them could enter the room and see him holding his son's babysitter in his arms while the latter masturbated.

Alexander found it difficult to worry. This felt strangely natural: the way this ridiculous boy settled into his arms, the way he smelled, the way his breathing contracted when he caressed himself perfectly.

The closer Magnus got to the edge, the closer Alexander squirmed until his leg flipped over Alexander's and gasped on Alexander's neck.

"Stronger," Magnus demanded breathlessly, and Alexander forced him, squeezing his arm tighter and tighter. He was sure it must have hurt, but Magnus groaned and came, shuddering against him.

"This is the second shirt you've ruined," Alexander commented softly as Magnus's breath caught.

"I'm sure you have more," Magnus muttered, sounding completely beside himself. He showed no inclination to walk away, still huddled next to Alexander, all sweet and smooth.

After a while, she yawned, blinked at Alexander disdainfully before getting up and planting a chaste, loving kiss on Alexander's cheek.

"Thank you."

Alexander's interior felt decidedly strange.

He cleared his throat a little and gently pushed him away from his lap.

Magnus looked at him in a way that could only be described as longing.

Alexander wanted to feel strange or upset about it, but he couldn't invoke either. Maybe I would, later. But right now, all he could feel was satisfaction.

"You're welcome," he said, not without amusement, and stood up. "I am exhausted. Pause the movie and go to sleep too, we'll finish watching it tomorrow."

"Maybe I want to see max now," Magnus said, lifting his chin, his eyes filled with joy and defiance. "Maybe I am not tired."

"You've been yawning.You just like to disagree with me." Magnus smiled at him, holding his gaze.  
"Perhaps. But you are still unbearably dominant."

Alexander raised an eyebrow.

"Have we not established that your brother brainwashed you to think it was a good trait?"

Magnus laughed.

"Brainwashing is the key word."

Looking at that warm open smile, Alexander realized that he did not want to say good night. He frowned.

"Good night." Magnus's smile faded, his face fell.

Jesus, the boy didn't even bother to hide his disappointment. Was it really? Alexander looked away and left the room.

Magnus's soft "Good Night" was still ringing in his ears when he entered his room, trying to ignore the feeling of dissatisfaction under his skin.

What the hell, seriously? His fixation on Magnus was beginning to shift into alien territory, even for him. It was bad enough that he had spent too much limited free time with

Magnus. His reluctance to be away from him even at night was ... he didn't even know what the hell it was.

At this rate, in no time he would end up shoving Magnus into his bed, regardless of the boyish and obvious infatuation the boy had for him, an infatuation that should have nipped in the bud when he first noticed it.

Damn hell.

Maybe he really was a jerk.


	9. A new feeling

Magnus had always teased his brothers and loved ones for the stupid and ridiculous way they had behaved around their love interests. The tease was good-natured and loving, of course, but he couldn't deny that he had felt a bit superior while watching his brothers and future brothers-in-law make a fool of himself. That would never happen to him, Magnus thought confidently. Even if it turned out not to be asexual, he would never behave like a complete idiot. Or so he had thought.

But the morning after Alexander had been sucked off, when Alexander entered Max's playroom to say goodbye to his son before work, Magnus had the dubious pleasure of experiencing what he had mocked about his brothers. He felt himself flush, for no bloody reason. He didn't know where to look, his gaze moved erratically from Alexander's hands to his black shirt that made the color of his eyes stand out.

Looking away, Magnus fixed his on the flawless cut of Alexander's dark gray suit, studying the way he hugged Alexander's broad shoulders and ...

Ugh.

Feeling mortified and completely confused, what the hell, he didn't behave like an idiot last night when it really had happened, Magnus shifted his gaze to the safest thing in the room: Max.

The boy was avoiding his father's gaze, but at least he wasn't crying or trying to wriggle out of his arms. That had to be encouraging, right?

Magnus frowned, feeling completely unqualified for this job once again. It still felt it would be better for Alexander to find a babysitter who really knew one or two things about child psychology and child care in general.

Alexander brushed his lips against Max's forehead and met Magnus's gaze over the boy's head.

"Good Morning."

Magnus just nodded, his tongue thick and uncomfortable in his mouth. God, what was wrong with him? So he had sucked the man's dick, What a thing. Why was he being so ridiculous about it now?

"Good morning," he finally managed to say, his voice sounding hoarse and strange even to his own ears.

Christ, the hazel of those eyes didn't even seem real.

Realizing that they had been looking at each other for too long (or was it just him?), Magnus hastily dropped his gaze. To Alexander's strong and elegant hands. The hands that had been stroking his hair and clutching his throat as Alexander's cock fucked his throat.

With his face too warm and his jeans too tight, Magnus cleared his throat and said:

"You should probably be leaving before your late, Mr. Lightwood." He almost slaps himself as soon as he said that. Had his brain moved to his cock?

Alexander's eyebrows shot up. "Mr. Lightwood? I thought we were past that."

Magnus grimaced, laughing.

"Please ignore what I say. Apparently you literally screwed my brain last night.”He closed his mouth as soon as he said that, but it was too late. The damage was already done.

Alexander stared at him.

Then he left Max and walked over to where Magnus was sitting.

Magnus's heart hammered somewhere in his throat as he looked at him.

Alexander studied him closely.

"I did it? "He murmured, his fingers running through Magnus's hair.

Magnus was very proud of the fact that he managed not to make any embarrassing sounds. He had never thought that having his hair touched could feel so good.

"You don't have to sound so smug about it," said Magnus, unable to help but smile at Alexander.

Alexander did not return it.

"I still have twenty minutes until I have to go," he said, stroking Magnus's nape with her fingers.

Magnus's eyes had closed when he realized what Alexander meant. He snapped them open.

"You can't seriously ..." he looked at Max and looked at Alexander." Really? Your son is right there."

Alexander did not seem puzzled. He shrugged carelessly, looking at his watch.

"My son is three years old, not a baby." You can play for just a few minutes, and we'll be within earshot. Let's go. "Taking the doll from Magnus, he picked it up and took it out of the room.

Although "pulling" was probably wrong. There was some pressure on his wrist, but Alexander wasn't pulling him out of the room, per se. Magnus knew very well that he could break free at any time, if he wanted.

If he wanted to.

With a twisted stomach, Magnus looked at Max one last time. The boy was already engrossed in his toy train as Magnus followed his father into the next bathroom, heart pounding.

"You're making me feel like a terrible babysitter," Magnus said when Alexander closed the bathroom door. More terrible than I already thought it was.

With a cold gaze, Alexander unbuckled his belt and started working on his zipper.

Magnus's mouth filled with saliva. God, why was it so hot? Seeing a handsome, arrogant man in an expensive suit undo his zipper shouldn't be so bloody appealing.

"I'm going to be the judge of that," said Alexander." Am I not the one who pays your salary?"

A laugh bubbled up in Magnus's chest.

"You pay me to be your son's babysitter, not to suck your dick!"

Alexander raised his eyebrows, his lips twitching.

-"I hope not. A prostitute would be significantly cheaper. Get on your knees."

Magnus tried to glare at him, but he was probably not very convincing considering the fact that his knees had already given way and his hand was already caressing Alexander's dick with all his hardness. He took just a few punches this time before Alexander was completely hard on his hand.

Magnus looked down at the proud erection sticking out of Alexander's fly (Alexander was still fully clothed except for his zipper down) and licked his lips.

Damn, I wanted to suck on it.

"This is very wrong," he still tried. "Max is only a wall away. This is weird, Alexander."

"Don't be prudish," Alexander said, taking Magnus's face and pushing his cock against his mouth. "He can't see us. ”He looked at his watch. "Seventeen minutes left."

Magnus glared at him, but brought his cock to his mouth. There was no denying that there was something exciting about sucking Alexander's cock in broad daylight. There was a lot of staff around at this time. Someone was supposed to arrive with Max's breakfast soon. They could meet him sucking his boss's cock at any time.

The thought made him moan around the length in his mouth. The floor was hard under his knees, but the pain only increased the sensation, making everything sharper and more intimate. When Alexander finally grabbed his hair and started fucking him  
mouth with short, quick strokes, Magnus felt the now-familiar thrill shoot through his body. He liked this. Damn, he loved this very much. He loved giving up all control to Alexander and feeling Alexander take pleasure in him.

When he felt Alexander hit the back of his throat, his jaw ached, his throat ached, and his head ached from the pull of his hair, but he could hardly think from the excitement.

"Thirteen minutes," Alexander said, looking at his watch. "Good boy. "

Shivering, Magnus buried his face against Alexander's abs and quickly stroked himself as Alexander's fingers played with his hair. He came in with a high-pitched moan, the noise muffled by Alexander's warm skin.

The fingers in his hair still caressed him for a moment before Alexander pulled away to straighten his clothes.

Magnus opened his eyes and stared at him numbly, still feeling bad after his orgasm. He wanted ... He wanted Alexander's hands on him.

Finished in his clothes, Alexander looked at him. A strange expression appeared on his face.

"Come on," he said abruptly, taking Magnus's arm and lifting it. He fixed Magnus's zipper.

Magnus just blinked at him. His mind felt ... empty, but not in a bad way. It felt soft, loose. He wanted to bury his face in the hollow of Alexander's neck. He wanted to be held.

He didn't want Alexander to leave.

He shook his head, trying to clear his head, not knowing why he suddenly felt so needy.

Alexander studied him with a frown, his eyes attentive.

Later, Magnus would blame it on his brain that was still not working properly after his orgasm. Later, he would come up with dozens of reasons why he had.

But at the time, he really didn't have a reason.  
It just felt natural.

He wanted it.

Magnus took a half step closer, lowered Alexander's head and kissed him lightly on the lips.

Alexander inhaled sharply, but did not push it away in disgust, since Magnus almost expected him to.

Encouraged, Magnus gave him another soft kiss, enjoying the way Alexander's stubble felt against his shaved chin.

Damn, how could such an innocent kiss feel so good?

"Mi!"

Wide-eyed, Magnus turned away from Alexander and turned around.

Max was peering into the bathroom, hazel eyes wide and cautious as they blinked between Magnus and Alexander.

"Mine, mine," the boy murmured, thumb in his mouth.

Magnus felt a smile split his face. It was the first time he had heard Max speak since their first meeting. He hadn't even been sure Max knew how to speak.

Hearing the child actually form sentences, no matter how grammatically incorrect, was more than encouraging. It was also very encouraging that Max no longer seemed to mistake him for his mother and knew his name. At least Magnus assumed that "Mi" meant "Magnus".

He looked back at Alexander, wanting to see Alexander's reaction, but Alexander's expression was absolutely inscrutable. He wasn't even looking at his son. He was looking at Magnus.

Magnus felt his face heat up.

Um. Right. The kiss.

Finally Alexander looked at his watch and said:

"I have to go. I'm late. ”He walked past Magnus, running his hand through Max's dark hair as he passed it. "Goodbye son. You can have Magnus on your own until father returns."

The boy looked at his father's back before running to Magnus's side and grasping his hand in a clearly possessive manner.

It would be ridiculously adorable if it wasn't a little annoying.

"Your dad wasn't hurting me," Magnus said softly, getting down on his knees to look the boy in the eye. "We are friends, and friends touch each other. Voucher?"

Max looked at him skeptically and said nothing.

"Now I know you can speak, then you will speak, friend," said Magnus, leaning down to kiss the boy's nose before thinking better of it. He had just sucked on a dick, the boy's father's dick, and he really should wash his mouth first. "In the future, when the adults are ... talking in another room, I want you to call, okay?"

Max tugged on his hand.

"To play!"

Sighing and thinking that it had been too much waiting for the boy to understand what he was saying, Magnus let Max get him out of the bathroom.

At least Max was talking again.

That was the important part, not what had happened before.


	10. Falling in love?

Magnus spent the day groggy, his stomach knotted. Would Alexander be angry? Upset with him? After all, it was one thing to let a boy suck his dick, and quite another when that boy started giving you unsolicited kisses.

Magnus still wasn't sure what had possessed him to kiss Alexander. He could only vaguely remember that he felt good at the moment. Now, away from Alexander and his hazel eyes, he felt surreal. He couldn't believe he had.

So he feared Alexander's return home. His stomach felt funny, his palms were clammy, and he flinched at each sound. It was as stressful as it was ridiculous. Not long ago, I had thought it might be asexual. Now he was completely mangled. It would be funny if I didn't stress him out that much.

Obviously Magnus had been going crazy so much when Alexander returned home, it was almost anticlimactic.

Alexander was only looking at his son when he entered Max's playroom. He didn't even seem to notice Magnus when he picked up Max and asked about his day. As usual, Max shook his head or nodded at his father's questions, his eyes downcast. Didn't make a sound.

If the kiss hadn't happened, Magnus would definitely have tried to get the boy to talk to his father, he had been very talkative to Magnus all day, but the way things were, he felt too self-conscious to try.

So he quietly picked up Max's toys and put them back in the huge box in the corner of the room.

He felt more than he heard Alexander approach.

"How was it after I left?" Alexander said. "he speak more?"

"Yes, he did," Magnus said, dropping Max's favorite toy car to the ground and quickly picked it up. Put it in the  
box, well aware of the man behind him. Damn, were his hands trembling? "Your sentences are obviously not correct, but I could understand it, for the most part."

A hand on his arm made Magnus sit still.

"You're avoiding looking at me," said Alexander.

Moistening his lips with his tongue, Magnus turned and met his gaze.

"Im not"

Alexander looked at him, the corner of his mouth twitching.

"You are nervous."

Magnus crossed his arms over his chest and glared at him.

"Because it would be?"

Alexander smiled, a funny and arrogant smile that had no right to be so bloody attractive.

"Because you're a little in love with me, and now you're being ridiculous about it."

Magnus wanted to erase that smile from Alexander's lips with his own mouth. He raised his eyebrows.

"I'm glad you noticed and it won't be awkward if I can't hold myself back and accidentally kiss you again."

Alexander laughed, his eyes bright with joy and ...

Ugh, Magnus wanted to look at them forever.

Damn, Alexander was wrong about being a little in love with him. This didn't feel like a damn crush. This felt much worse.

"Try to contain yourself," Alexander said, his eyes narrowing with laughter. "You know I'm straight."

"Yes, except when you put your dick in my mouth."

Alexander's amusement disappeared. Cocking his head slightly, he studied Magnus with an expression that could only be described as intense. It made Magnus's skin stand on end.

He put his hand on Magnus's neck, he thumb caressing magnus Adam's apple.

Magnus gulped, his pulse shot up. He felt caught in Alexander's eyes, unable to look away.

A small hand gripping his jeans broke the moment. Magnus tore his gaze away from Alexander's and looked at the boy who was frowning, looking confused and a little scared.

Magnus quickly put on a smile.

"Max, it's okay.We talk about it, right? Your dad and I are friends. It isn't hurting me."

Max's eyes flickered between his father and Magnus.

"Magnus is right," Alexander said, removing his hand from Magnus's neck. There was something disturbing in his gaze, but he was clearly trying not to appear intimidating. "We are friends. You see?"He took Magnus's fingers in his hand and showed Max's clasped hands.

It would have been adorable if the touch hadn't made Magnus's interior turn to jelly. He looked at Alexander's strong, long fingers intertwined with his thinner ones and had to suppress a stupid smile.

A crush. Right.

Exasperated with himself, Magnus tried to smile encouragingly at Max, but suspected that he didn't seem convincing, because all he wanted at the moment was to kiss the boy's father.

"Right," he said, taking Max's hand with his free one. "Why don't we all go to dinner?"

Max looked between them before ducking his head and nodding shyly.

Counting this as a victory, Magnus shot a glance at the boy's father. Alexander had a grim expression on his face.

"Yes, let's go," he said before leaning down and murmuring into Magnus's ear." I need to talk to you later."

Magnus just squeezed his hand before allowing Max to remove him from the room.

And if his ear was still tingling from Alexander's breath, well, no one had to know.

***

"Later" ended up being three hours later, after Max was thrown into his bed.

"Did you want to talk to me?" Magnus said, closing the door to Alexander's office.

Alexander nodded without looking up from his laptop.

"If Max talks to you, could you ask him why he's afraid im hurting you?"

Frowning, Magnus reached out and propped his hip against the desk next to Alexander's chair.

"I thought you said he was afraid of you because you and her mother fought all the time?"

Alexander looked up from the laptop and stared at it.

"Yes, we fight a lot, verbally. I never physically hurt her. But today I got the impression that max was afraid im would physically hurt you. I want to know why."

Magnus bit his lip.

"Do you think he saw someone hurt his mother?"

A deep groove appeared between Alexander's eyebrows.

"Perhaps. She had it for months before she got custody. You may have seen someone who looked like me hit her. The type of company she maintained was not exactly reputable."

Magnus hummed thoughtfully. It made sense. It would explain why Max was so suspicious of his father.

"Okay," he said softly, reaching out to smooth the wrinkle between Alexander's eyebrows with his thumb. "Don't frown, you will get permanent wrinkles."

Alexander raised his eyebrows, his grim expression replaced by one of amusement. He loosened his tie, watching Magnus lazily, like a big dangerous cat wondering if he was in the mood for a snack or not.

"You should be less obvious," Alexander said, catching Magnus's fingers and studying them." My own housekeeper just told me that I shouldn't cruelly encourage the poor boy's crush. It was very intimidating."

Magnus chuckled, trying to act like his face wasn't on fire.

"What can I say? I'm very nice."

Alexander snorted, stroking his knuckles.

"You are, or you would have been fired weeks ago."

Magnus smiled at him. Christ, there was something about looking at Alexander's hazel eyes that made his interactions intoxicating, his heart was pounding, his fingers trembled and his body was on edge. He had never felt so good with another person, to feel comfortable with them to the point that all he wanted was to be closer to them. He wanted to merge their personal spaces until they had only one for the two of them. He wanted his personal space to be Alexander's.

Damn, his own thoughts and wishes missed.

Magnus. He felt like he was drunk, his inhibitions nonexistent, no matter what his brain tried to tell him. It felt like he could say something to Alexander, he could ask him for anything.

This is how Magnus found himself saying:

"I want to get on your lap."

Alexander only looked at him for a moment before lightly stroking his knee.

Magnus had never moved so fast. He crawled into Alexander's lap, buried his face against his throat, and clung to him like a monkey.

"I feel so strange, Alexander," he murmured, his hands running over Alexander's broad shoulders and strong arms underneath that light blue shirt." I'm not sure what the hell is wrong with me. I never felt like this."

Alexander laughed, not cruelly.

"It's called attraction," he said, his fingers running through Magnus's hair.

"I'm not stupid, I know," Magnus said, closing his eyes as he stroked Alexander's throat. How did this man smell so good? "But I feel, I feel so out of control, as if ... I would do whatever you want as long as you touch me."

Alexander made a strange sound, something between a moan and a laugh.

Magnus nibbled at his neck, trying to squirm closer to him, painfully aware of his half-hard cock hitting Alexander in the stomach.

"Is this what is driving you crazy?"

"Less than you probably should," Alexander said, stroking Magnus's back through the slim T-shirt he was wearing. His strong fingers felt magical against Magnus's spine.

Trembling, Magnus squirmed again, torn between wanting to be closer to that hand and wanting to be closer to Alexander's chest.

"Alexander," he whispered, frustrated.

And because Alexander apparently read his mind, he removed Magnus's shirt and then unbuttoned his shirt, allowing it to open, revealing his broad, muscular chest that narrowed to a narrow waist and hard abs. It was beautifully built, every man.

Magnus pressed himself immediately, almost moaning at the touch of his bare breasts, at the feel of Alexander's sparse hair against his skin. Damn, this felt so good, but it wasn't enough. He felt too sensitive, his skin on fire wherever they touched, but somehow it still wasn't enough.

Magnus barely realized he was making sounds, shameless and needy, as he writhed in Alexander's arms, seeking friction and skin, wanting more. Alexander was so warm and firm, and he smelled incredible ... God ... Magnus felt so excited that he could no longer distinguish right from left, his mind clouded by raw need. I wanted, I wanted ...

"Shh," Alexander said, stroking his back up and down. "What do you want?"

"You," Magnus murmured against Alexander's throat, breathing in his scent like an addict and unable to get enough. Everything you want.

He felt Alexander's muscles tighten. He cradled Magnus's face and lifted his up, forcing him to look him in the eye.

"Listen," Alexander said, his hazel eyes alert and serious. "Everything you want' is a bad answer. Trust me on this."

"Why?" Magnus said, rubbing his cheek against Alexander's hand.

The look Alexander gave him was a mixture of irritation, exasperation, and something else.

"Because I am not a very good man.I can let go. Really let go."

"I don't care," Magnus murmured, kissing Alexander's fingers with trembling lips. It was difficult to keep his eyes open.

"I feel so good about you. I trust you. I know you will make me feel good no matter what you do."

Alexander's nostrils were dilated.

"Jesus screwed Christ. It's like you were created to press all the wrong buttons on me. ”His hand gripped Magnus's chin, his gaze heavy and stimulatingly intense. This is not certain, Magnus. "You will need a safe word. Choose one."

Magnus said the first word that came to mind.

"Book."

Alexander nodded his head.

"Good enough. If you want me to stop, say the safe word. If you want me to stop, but can't speak for some reason, you will touch your nose."

Magnus licked his lips.

"But what if I can't do it, either?What if I am bound and gagged?"

A muscle flexed in Alexander's jaw.

"We will discuss it in advance if such a situation occurs."

Magnus wrinkled his nose.

"I think discussing things first takes all the fun out of them. I trust you won't hurt me. Shouldn't that be enough?"

Alexander's expression was almost sore.

"No," he said firmly. " I m not kidding when I say you push all my buttons.”Those eyes seemed to hurt for Magnus." Think of it this way: I want to fuck you up so much that I don't even care about your sex. So I'm not exactly in my most rational form around you."

Magnus stroked the back of Alexander's neck, the laced muscles of his shoulders and arms.

"I don't want you to be rational," he said. Alexander was so tight against him, his muscles stiff. This immense and unnatural tension could not be healthy. Magnus said softly, "Let him go. I promise to use the safe word if it is too much. Do what you want. I want you to do it."

Alexander shuddered, his body tensing further against him, his gaze darkening.

Magnus licked his lips, feeling that he was pressed against a wild beast held only by the reins of his self-control. Alexander's eyes followed the movement of his tongue.

"Kiss me? "Magnus whispered shakily.

Alexander leaned down and did exactly that.

There were no fireworks behind Magnus's eyelids; the fireworks seemed to light up his entire body. Magnus shook himself, groaning at the feel of Alexander's mouth against his. He could feel Alexander's body stiffen from his reaction for a moment, and then Alexander broke.

Groaning, he grabbed Magnus's face and plundered his mouth, all teeth and tongue, his great body surging against Magnus and pressing him against the desk when Alexander gave him a hungry and dirty kiss he took, took and took. It was overwhelming. It was terrifying, and terribly good. Magnus lost himself, his world was reduced to that hot and demanding mouth and those big hands that held his face in a punishing grip. He wasn't even sure to kiss hin back; all he could do was feel and enjoy being the focus of Alexander's desire. Weak, trembling moans left his mouth as the kiss went on, and on and on.

God.

Alexander shoved him onto the desk and shoved him down with his body, their cocks caught between them. Something fell to the ground, but neither of them listened to him. Shivering, Magnus snapped open his pants and wrapped his legs around Alexander's waist as Alexander pressed his cock against Magnus's. Damn, the way Alexander's body felt on top of him ... It felt incredibly good: his weight, the pressure. It should have made him feel trapped, but everything Magnus could think of was so good and more.

They found a dirty and uneven rhythm, still kissing disorderly, saliva everywhere. Fucking hard didn't have the right to feel so good, so satisfying, and terribly good, but he did. Unlike blowjobs, it wasn't one-sided, they both wanted this, they both needed this, their need felt like one, both seeking release, together. Together. I wanted Alexander closer, I needed him, God, please, oh, oh, oh.

When Alexander's hands wrapped around his throat, Magnus could barely think, his mind was a haze of pleasure and desire, his body too sensitive and needy. When the hands of Alexander squeezed his neck, Magnus moaned around Alexander's tongue, sucking greedily on it. The pressure around his throat grew stronger, making Magnus's head completely empty. He could only moan weakly, pressing his cock against Alexander's hard stomach. There was no air in his lungs, he couldn't breathe, but it felt so good, god, just a little more.

He ran, sobbing and holding on to the man on top of him with all his might, his mind empty and his body finally finding release. Alexander jerked against him, shuddered, and lay still on top of him.

Magnus realized he was still out of breath when Alexander raised his head to look at him.

"You're good?" He said, stroking his neck to ease Magnus's sore throat, before looking him in the eye.

Magnus could only nod weakly, feeling that he was drowning in those eyes. Truthfully, it felt strange. It felt incredibly good, but at the same time, I felt like I was about to burst into tears for no reason.

So when Alexander started to straighten up, Magnus found himself throwing his arms around his neck and holding on.

"Don't go," he murmured, feeling mortified by his own need but unable to do anything about it. He did not want to be away from Alexander. Even a few inches seemed too far.

Alexander stood still for a moment before lifting him into his arms and straightening up with Magnus still clinging to him for his life.

"I'm not going anywhere," he promised, his voice low and soft. A hint of humor crept into his tone." But we can't stay at my desk all night. I'm not twenty years old. My back would kill me tomorrow."

Magnus nodded and felt Alexander lead him ... somewhere. Magnus really didn't care. Burying his face in the hollow of Alexander's shoulder and neck, Magnus closed his eyes and found himself adrift. I was with Alexander. I was safe.

Alexander would take care of everything.


	11. Alexander POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's carmel or caramel skin?

The morning sun filtering through the Venetian blinds cut a scratched path through the bed and highlighted the red in Magnus's hair, making the contrast with his Caramel skin grab attention and bruises with the shape Alexander's fingers on his neck even darker.

Alexander couldn't take his eyes off them while Magnus slept peacefully curled up against him.

Although "curled up" was probably too soft a word.

Their limbs were so intertwined that Alexander was beginning to wonder if he would be able to extract himself without waking Magnus. It was surprising how they'd managed to end up like this when he'd laid Magnus on the opposite side of his big bed the night before, but it wasn't surprising either.

In the past, Alexander had been accused on numerous occasions of being "suffocating" while sleeping. Lydia had hated that habit, claiming that it was uncomfortable for her and that she couldn't breathe with him half on top of her. It was one of the many reasons they started sleeping in separate beds a few weeks after their married life.

But Magnus definitely didn't seem uncomfortable at all. He was clinging to Alexander as he slept, radiating joy and peace, as if there was no place he would rather be than in Alexander's arms.

Maybe that's why sharing a bed with another man wasn't as strange as one might expect. It also probably helped that Alexander didn't really think of Magnus as another man. Obviously, he didn't think of him as a woman, either. Magnus was just ... Magnus, a completely different category of human being, who happened to have a dick.

Alexander had never really believed the idea that one could be attracted to a person without caring about their sex, but Magnus really was a person to him, and then there was his sex. A ridiculously endearing and pleasant boyish sun that drew him in and looked at Alexander as if he were hanging by the moon and stars.

Alexander grimaced. Magnus's rapid infatuation should have bothered him. Instead, he ... dammit, he liked it. He was probably screwed how much he liked it. If I were a better man, Magnus's evident infatuation and growing confidence would have worried him instead of fueling his fixation on the guy.

Because Kat his 1st girlfriend had been right: Alexander was a greedy bastard. He had always wanted his partner to be his, body, heart and soul, even though he had never felt the kind of commitment he wanted from his women. He was selfish, greedy and old-fashioned, as his girlfriends had repeatedly informed him. He had tried to trade Lydia, but after how that ended, he wasn't doing it again. It was as it was, flawed and troublesome, but to hell with it. He had finished pretending to be something he was not. He was a fucked-up bastard and he'd made peace with it.

Because I was screwed. There had been women more than willing to give him what he wanted, women completely dedicated to him and their relationship, but each time, it hadn't been enough. Alexander was still dissatisfied, the endless hunger deep in his soul was still there, restless and greedy. It could never be satiated. Nothing was enough, no attempt at a relationship could satisfy him.

It almost made Alexander wonder if that old family story had any truth.

The Lightwoods curse, people called in whispers.

Alexander used to laugh at that story, calling it a children's fairy tale, but with each failed relationship and the ever-present and growing feeling of dissatisfaction inside him, he couldn't help but think about it and wonder.

It was his aunt who had told him that old story.

"Your great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather, Gideon Lightwood, was one of the judges during the witch hunt of 1692," said Aunt Martha. "Salem's witch trials."he clarified when he met her confused gaze. She personally sentenced more than a dozen witches to execution.

Alexander scoffed.

"Witches are not real, aunt."

Aunt Martha hummed.

"Maybe they are, maybe they aren't.Who knows? Personally, I don't think there are real witches today, but back then, people were much better connected to the land and the old religion."

Alexander looked at her skeptically, but decided not to argue.

"And what happened?"

Aunt Martha frowned.

"Among the people Gideon sentenced to death was a handsome young man. When he was executed, his wife became hysterical and publicly cursed Gideon and his line. He was arrested, but was later found dead in his cell before his own hearing. There was no apparent reason for his death. His cellmate said the witch was also mumbling something about a curse before his death."

Like most children, Alexander was fascinated by a mystery.

"Really? So what exactly did he curse Gideon with?"

Aunt Mary pursed her lips.

"I think it was something like this: (For the malice you have done, I curse you and your line towards hell and eternal misery. May you never find peace until your loved ones mourn your loss as I cry now). ”Her aunt shuddered, as if cold, and hugged herself." It's just a story, Alexander, ”she said with a faint smile, but even then, as a six-year-old boy, Alexander had noticed that he didn't seem so sure.

The Lightwood family was not exactly known for happiness or happy marriages. Divorce had been common for the Lightwoods even when divorces had not been common. Alexander's parents had barely spoken to each other. His grandparents had been perfectly courteous to each other, and that was the best that could be said about their marriage.

Aunt Martha had never been married. And then there was, of course, his own marriage to Lydia. 

Alexander's lips thinned at the thought. He pushed it away, not wanting to ruin the rare moment of peace and contentment. Christ, he didn't even know that it was possible to feel so happy. The restless beast under his skin was curiously calm for now, satisfied with what felt like the first time in ... never.

Alexander ran his fingers through Magnus's hair, the feeling of satisfaction sharpening as Magnus leaned against the touch confidently, pressing closer to him as he slept.

A thought arose in Alexander's mind, one that made him stay still.

He wouldn't mind if Magnus was a man, a woman, or someone without sex. Alexander wanted it for himself. He wanted to stay with him. He wanted to keep him close, always.

Frowning, Alexander carefully examined that thought, that feeling.

In general, he wasn't someone who denied himself what he wanted, but this was ... too selfish, even for him. Even if you could keep Magnus, what would Magnus be? Max's babysitter? It could not be a long-term solution. It was not a job that would satisfy a major business in the long run. Not to mention, there was something unpleasant about dragging your son's babysitter to his bed. His employees would eventually notice. Your son would notice. Alexander looked at the half-naked young man who slept in his arms.

You could keep him as a lover. Wouldn't it be more honest? Isn't that what you really want? You want the boy to wait for you in your bed every night, naked, warm and only yours.

Alexander's stomach clenched at the thought, his dick twisting in his boxers.

Dammit.

Alexander exhaled through clenched teeth, thinking fondly of a time when he had found the mere idea of having sex with another man disgusting. To be fair, he still couldn't imagine having sex with any man other than the one in his arms. Magnus was Magnus. It didn't count.

Alexander wanted to possess him, to get inside of him no matter what hole he had to use for it; a mouth, a pussy or his ass, it didn't matter. I wanted to fuck him. Take it. Cover him inside with his cum and fill it so much that it dripped down his thighs. He wanted to leave marks on all that smooth skin, bright red bruises in the shape of his fingers and mouth. I wanted to tie him up. He wanted to press his forearm against Magnus's neck as he fucked him against the mattress. He knew Magnus would confidently look at him with his charming golden eyes, even when Alexander took his life.

Alexander inhaled shakily, trying to push his excitement away. That was precisely the reason why he couldn't keep Magnus as a lover, either. Magnus already trusted him too much. Magnus was already half in love. Alexander couldn't allow that infatuation to become more serious. He did not want to destroy the spirit of the child.

Because he would end up doing it. He always did. Their relationships always crashed and burned for some reason.

"You are a disgusting mix of emotionally unavailable and suffocating," Lydia had once told him. "You want to control and possess me, but at the same time your desire is very superficial and selfish. Actually, you don't care about anyone but yourself."

Despite all of Lydia failings, Alexander knew that he was not he had been completely wrong. He wanted too much, but at the same time he couldn't commit himself. It was not for lack of attempts. He really had made a great effort with his wife, they had both done it at first, but it all ended the same way. Alexander knew that he was not innocent for his deception. His emotional distance and his ways of control definitely played a part in their falling apart marriage. Not that it completely excused him. He had been as bitchy as he had been a jerk. In that sense, they had been very even.

So he had to end this before the thing between him and Magnus became poisonous. Magnus deserved better.

Magnus was going home in a month anyway. This, whatever it was, had no future. Magnus was very inexperienced with relationships. Magnus was too sweet and good for someone like Alexander. They were a terrible idea for many reasons.

So why does it feel so good in your arms?

"You really will have wrinkles if you keep frowning like that," said a sleepy voice. Alexander's gaze went to Magnus's face.

Golden eyes watched him softly as his owner snuggled even closer to Alexander, tightening his leg around Alexander's hips. Alexander hissed, his cock pressing against Magnus's bare stomach through the thin fabric of his boxers.

"Good morning," Magnus said, writhing against him. "Hello” he murmured with a growing smile.

Alexander should have said, ( We can't do this anymore.)

"Did you sleep well? "he said instead.

Magnus nodded, blinking sleepily.

"Yes. Thanks for letting me sleep with you. ”He grimaced in amusement, blushing slightly." I felt so sticky yesterday that I probably would have cried if I had woken up alone this morning."

Christ, your utter lack of shyness should not have been so endearing.

When you are done with him, this opening will disappear, he will be replaced by someone bitter, cynical and heartbroken.

"What about that face?" Magnus said, his smile fading.

Alexander stared at him.

All traces of amusement disappeared from Magnus's face now. Magnus licked his lips and watched him as Alexander propped himself up on one elbow and leaned toward him. Alexander was able to savor Magnus's desire to be kissed.

Alexander did not kiss him. Kissing him would only make things worse.

But he still couldn't resist putting his hand on Magnus's caramel neck, on one of the bruises at the base of his throat.

"We shouldn't have done this."

"Why? "Magnus muttered, his fingers buried in Alexander's hair as he blatantly looked at Alexander's mouth. "Are you having gay disgust?"

Stop looking at me this way, Christ.

Alexander licked his lips, looking between Magnus's dilated pupils and the parted pink lips. The air between them was filled with terrible tension and longing, as if they hadn't shared multiple kisses and orgasms anymore. It was as baffling as it was maddening. The more time he spent with this adorable boy, the more he wanted to consume and brand him rather than lose interest in him.

"No," Alexander said abruptly and rolled out of bed before he could do anything he would regret. He didn't look at Magnus when he followed his morning routine and started getting dressed. He could feel Magnus's gaze on him, but he didn't look at him. Finally, Magnus got up and went into the bathroom.

Alexander exhaled.

He could hear the running water. He could hear Magnus brush his teeth.

Then silence.

Alexander had never been so aware of another person when they weren't even in the same room.

He was tying his tie when Magnus returned to the room. He marched decisively towards Alexander.

"Look, there's no need for this to be so awkward," Magnus said, stopping in front of him. He was smiling crookedly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be aggressive. If you don't want to do this again, it's absolutely fine. Really. You don't have to explain yourself."

Looking at that forced but brave smile, Alexander clenched his teeth.

Stand back, Lightwood. The door is three steps away.

Three steps away, but it might as well be on the other side of the planet.

"Damn you," Alexander tugged on the boy and crushed their mouths together. It was terrifying and exhilarating how quickly Magnus responded, anything but escalate him and kiss him back, his mouth flexible and needy.

Alexander tore from that anxious mouth with much more effort than he would have liked.

"I have to go." He barely recognized his own voice, so low and hoarse it was.

Magnus nodded numbly, still looking at him with such longing and need that Alexander only had to kiss him again. And again, and again, and again.

When he pulled away, it was so hard that it actually hurt to walk.

But he managed to walk.

He stopped by the door and put a hand on the handle.

He looked back.

Magnus stood where Alexander had left him, his lips slightly swollen and red, his cheeks flushed, and his eyes glazed with desire.

Alexander wanted to swallow it whole.

He was already stepping back toward Magnus when the sound of his phone brought him back to his senses.

Alexander walked away, cursing under his breath.


	12. Caught on Act

Magnus had never felt like this.

He had no idea what was going on between him and Alexander anymore, but he felt ... he felt dizzy, smiling into space, throwing things and just being stupid in general. Rationally, he knew he had nothing to feel dizzy about. Whatever it was, it was too fragile and uncertain. Frankly crazy. Alexander had made it clear that he thought it was a mistake, and rationally, Magnus knew there were countless reasons why it was a terrible idea.

But he still couldn't banish the warm, giddy feeling every time he thought of Alexander's arms around him, his hazel eyes, his mouth, his scent. Damn, its scent.

Magnus had never really noticed how people smelled, but Alexander's earthy, masculine scent made him want to bury his nose against Alexander's throat, his armpit, his crotch and just breathe.

Part of him couldn't believe his own thoughts. He had always made fun of his brothers and brothers-in-law for the way they behaved towards others, and now he was acting much worse than they were, for a man who was not theirs and would never be theirs. For a man who was from a different world.

Alexander was a successful businessman, a billionaire, a CEO of various corporations, a true adult eleven years his senior. Alexander was a straight man, the heir to an ancient and powerful family, and one of the most eligible singles in the country. No doubt he had hundreds of women lining up to be the next Mrs. Lightwood.

Magnus was just a confused student who wasn't even sure what his sexuality was. At this point, he hoped he was gay or bi, and not demisexual, because that would mean he was already too deep if even thinking about Alexander turned him on now. It was not encouraging that there was an element of complete trust and confidence that drew him to Alexander.

Damn, he needed to control himself. This was useless. Useless. This was not some kind of Cinderella gay story. This was not going anywhere. Alexander Lightwood was his boss. He had hired Magnus to care for his young son, not to disturb him during his work hours.

Caring for said son was not really easy that morning.

Max was unusually moody, throwing tantrums for no reason, and didn't hear a word from Magnus. He kept talking, but was much less talkative than the day before, especially using monosyllabic responses every time Magnus tried to strike up a conversation with the boy.

Fortunately, Max was in a much better mood after his nap. The little monster of the morning was gone, replaced by the calm and loving boy Magnus had come to adore. He would never understand children, Magnus concluded, shaking his head in bewilderment, but immensely relieved.

Encouraged by Max's good humor, he finally decided to broach the subject Alexander had spoken to him about the night before ... before they got distracted.

Magnus cleared his throat and focused his gaze on Max.

"Your dad loves you very much," he began in his calmest voice. "You love your dad too, right?"

The boy's lips pursed, his hazel eyes still on the LEGO pieces in his hands. He said nothing and continued to build a house, but Magnus had the impression that he was listening.

"Your dad is a good man."

"Bad," Max muttered, shaking his little head.

Magnus frowned.

"You are wrong, Max. Your dad is not bad."

"Bad," Max said stubbornly.

"Why do you think it's bad? It's not true,Max. He loves you so much."

Max's eyebrows furrowed. He shook his head again, his hazel eyes filling with tears.

"Bad dad!, It hurt mom. Mom is crying!"

Magnus's stomach dropped. So Alexander was right after all: the boy's memories were hazy and he had really mistaken his father for someone who had hurt his mother.

Or maybe Alexander lied, said a voice in the back of his mind. With his sexual inclinations, wouldn't it be credible if he hit a woman who cheated on him?

Magnus dismissed the thought as soon as it appeared. Alexander was not the type to physically mistreat a woman.

Yes, and you are not biased at all. You have it so bad that you will believe what he says.

Magnus felt himself blush. His judgment was probably compromised; There was no denying it. But he was still absolutely certain that Alexander was not capable of physical abuse.

Enjoying rough, kinky sex was one thing; abusing the couple was completely another.

"It wasn't your dad," said Magnus, taking Max's hand and looking him in the eye. "Your dad never hurt your mom."

Max shook his head stubbornly and turned to head back to his LEGO home.

Magnus looked at the back of his dark head, feeling more useless than ever. Damn, he was a business student, not a social worker. I didn't know anything about child psychology. At this point, Magnus was pretty sure that not being qualified for this job was really detrimental to Max's proper development and mental health. Max needed someone to help him get through this, a qualified professional who knew what to say, who knew how to fix the problem, not someone who had no idea what he was doing.

I had to resign.

His stomach clenched at the idea, but he knew it was the right thing to do. He cared a lot about this child, but caring was not enough. Max was not a normal boy. He was a child who had been through various traumatic experiences, a child without a mother, who was irrationally afraid of his own father. The truth was, Magnus had no idea how to help him. These were Max's formative years. He couldn't risk damaging the child's development just because he didn't want to leave, just because he had become too attached.

To who? a voice said sarcastically in the back of his mind. The boy or his father?

Magnus pushed the thought away. In the end, it didn't matter, did it?

He still couldn't stay. He should be leaving for many reasons. He should leave before he can hurt Max with his incompetence. He should leave before Max got too attached; in a month, it would be much more difficult for the boy when Magnus suddenly disappeared from his life.

He should go.

The moment he heard the sound of the car entering the driveway, Magnus was convinced it was the right course of action. He was going to tell Alexander that he would quit the moment he saw him.

Not wanting to have that conversation in front of Max, Magnus left the room and headed for the front door.

But Alexander was already climbing the stairs.

Magnus stood at the top of the grand staircase, watching Alexander ascend leisurely, his piercing eyes fixed on Magnus as Alexander loosened his tie.

Magnus's heart raced in his chest so fast that he felt almost dizzy. He felt hot everywhere, like he had a low fever.

"Good evening," Alexander said quietly, his deep voice sending a shiver down Magnus's spine.

Magnus tried to remember what he had wanted to talk to Alexander about.

Right. He wanted to resign.

"I ..." he said, looking at Alexander with wide eyes. He licked his lips.

Alexander's expression became a little pinched. He tugged on his shirt collar.

"Stop looking at me like that, for heaven's sake."

"Look at you how?"

"As if you wanted to sit on my cock," Alexander said dryly, reaching into the pockets of his dark pants. That stretched the fabric, drawing Magnus's gaze to the lump there.

A laugh came out of Magnus's mouth.

"Arrogance should be your middle name."

Alexander's jaw clenched.

"It is not arrogance. It is self-preservation. My housekeeper is around the corner, little threat."

Magnus descended a step, so that they were face to face.

"Are you saying you would let me do it if iris wasn't there?" He intended it to sound like a joke, but he came out breathless, his voice hoarse and filled with desire.

What are you idiot What happened to your decision to quit?

"Stop flirting with me," Alexander said, his gaze heavy as he moved between Magnus's eyes and mouth.

Magnus bit his lip for a moment.

"Or what?"

Alexander glared at him.

"Or then you will get what you are asking for."

Magnus swallowed, all the blood in his body running south.

God, just imagining it made him so hard. He had never had anything inside him other than his own fingers, and it had been a long time ago. He had liked everything, even if he really couldn't imagine letting someone put his cock in there, but now, as he imagined Alexander filling him up and moving inside him, taking him, knocking on him… Damn.

It seemed that everything he was thinking was written on his face, because Alexander's expression grew more tense.

"I'm not doing anything."

"You are thinking about sex."

"And you do not?"

Alexander glared at him before looking around. The tips of his ears were red, his jaw clenched.

"Yes," he said, looking Magnus in the eye. His gaze was searing in its intensity, but his tone was almost conversational." That's why you should stop looking at me like you're drowning because of it. I am only a man, and I am not good."

Magnus licked his lips, his heart hammering in his chest. When Alexander was around, he had trouble remembering why it wasn't a good idea. He took a deep breath, trying to find some self-control. If he didn't, he could end up kneeling down and sucking Alexander's dick right there on the great stairs of the Lightwood family mansion.

"I'm leaving, Alexander," he managed.

Alexander's face went very still, his eyes riveted on him.

"Ok... So? "

"I'm quitting," Magnus repeated. "I spoke to Max, and it seems you were right that someone abused his mother in front of him and that his memories were mixed. But I couldn't make him change his mind. I couldn't, I can't do anything to help him. ”He looked at Alexander pleadingly. "He's eating me that I can't help him.I hate feeling useless and ignorant. You need a child psychologist, not a guy who doesn't know what he's doing ..."

"What you need is to feel loved and cared for," Alexander said, a strange expression on his face as he looked at Magnus." And I know you care about him, or we wouldn't have this conversation."

Magnus shook his head.

"That's not the problem. I adore the boy, but it is not enough, Alexander. Just because I care about Max doesn't make me able to give him what he needs. It does not work like that! Now that you are actually speaking, a psychologist can help you."

Alexander still had a very strange expression on his face.

"Well. If you are so concerned, I will find a professional babysitter who specializes in child psychology. But you are not going anywhere."

Magnus blinked at him in confusion.

"What!!? Why? "

Alexander's fingers wrapped around his wrist.

"You're not going anywhere," he repeated, tightening his hold, his gaze dark.

Magnus's mouth was dry.

"You said this morning that this was a mistake and we shouldn't do it again."

"I know what I said." Alexander leaned down and bit the lobe of his ear.

A moan came out of Magnus's mouth, his eyes closed as Alexander's tongue brushed the sensitive shell of his ear, sending shock waves through his spine.

God. Anyone could meet them. Magnus should stop him.

He could not move.

"So what do you mean? "he managed to say, trembling with his entire body.

Alexander's hands tightened on his hips and pulled them flush against his, erection against erection.

"Because I couldn't focus on anything today," he growled, sucking on his earlobe. "All I wanted was to get home, find you naked in my bed, and fuck you on the mattress."

A moan came from Magnus's mouth.

"Obviously unacceptable," Alexander said, his voice tense and irritated as he practically made love to Magnus's ear. 'I need to fuck you up. Fuck you and get you out of my system."

The words made something in Magnus's chest tighten with disappointment, but his body was fully on board. And brain too. Alexander was right: they couldn't move from each other until they finally shut off this crazy attraction between them.

"Okay," said Magnus, forcing himself to back away."but not now. I need to go back to Max. Find him a good babysitter. ”He licked his lips and met Alexander's hungry, heavy gaze. "How long will it take you?"

Alexander shrugged, not taking his eyes off him.

"I already have some candidates, but I will have to interview them. So probably an hour or two."

Magnus frowned.

"One or two hours? It's already night. No respectable professional would agree to move in an hour."

Alexander's lips curled. He just raised his eyebrows, giving his an arrogant, self-assured look that he had no right to be so damn attractive.

Magnus rolled his eyes with a smile.

"True. How could I forget it? Obviously, the normal rules don't apply to you."

Alexander did not smile. He stared at Magnus's smiling mouth before hugging him and kissing him hard.

Magnus groaned, his world immediately reduced to feeling Alexander's hot and hungry mouth against his, Alexander's tongue deep within him, the trail of Alexander's stubble, his scent,

God ... Magnus was trembling as he kissed him back, his arms swung around. Alexander's neck, fingers buried in his thick hair. Christ, he wanted it. I wanted it, I wanted it, I wanted it.

Magnus couldn't contain a moan of protest when Alexander broke the kiss. It took a moment for Magnus's hazy mind to remember that he had heard someone's voice. Someone must have seen them. Well, that was potentially a bit embarrassing, but Magnus didn't really mind a stranger seeing them. I wanted to get Alexander's mouth back. He reached for Alexander's mouth blindly, his hand gripping his shirt.

But Alexander turned around.

Disappointed, Magnus forced his eyes open.

He froze, meeting Valentine Morgenstern black eyes on Alexander's shoulder.

The silence was deafening.

"Morgenstern," Alexander said coldly, finally breaking the silence. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"He seemed absolutely calm, as if his business partner hadn't caught him kissing his son's babysitter.

Magnus couldn't see Alexander's face, but he could see Valentine and he was absolutely blank, his dark eyes blinking between Alexander and Magnus behind him.

Magnus felt his cheeks heat up.

"Hello," he managed, his voice a little strangled.

Valentine nodded abruptly to Alexander before looking at Magnus.

"Jace said you didn't answer your phone. Since I was in the area, he asked me to come in and tell you that you are invited to dinner next Friday. Jem and his fiancé finally return from Brazil and want to meet you. They will also be there."

"Um, thanks," Magnus managed, for the first time in his life, understanding the expression "wanting the ground to open under him." He had never felt so guilty, uncomfortable, and ashamed in his life.

Valentine looked at Alexander.

"Obviously you are invited, too, Alex," he said, and his voice could not have been less attractive." But it is a small informal meeting with some of our friends, so I am sure it will not be interesting for you."

"On the contrary," said Alexander. "Thanks for the invitation."

"I think I'm free next Friday."

Valentine looked at him for a moment before nodding.

"That's good to hear. We'll be waiting for you for dinner, then. At seven o'clock."

Magnus forced an awkward smile and nodded.

With one last sharp look at them, Valentine Morgenstern left.

"I didn't know you were such a good friend to the Morgenstern couple," Alexander said, without turning around.

The ice in his voice made Magnus look at him.

"Why did you accept the invitation if you don't like them?"

"Well, he's my business partner," said Alexander.

Magnus frowned. That was not an answer. It was evident that Valentine had invited Alexander out of courtesy and had not expected Alexander to accept the invitation. Alexander could hardly have missed it. Alexander finally turned around and studied him.

"Why don't you want me to go?" He face revealed nothing.

Magnus shook his head and bit his lip.

"Is not that. To be honest, I'll feel better about you there."

I always feel better with you than without you. Although he didn't say it out loud, it must have been written all over his face, because the ice in Alexander's eyes melted, replaced by something primitive and hungry, something that made Magnus's knees weak a little.

Alexander stepped closer, his intentions clear.

Licking his lips, Magnus stepped back and put a hand on Alexander's chest.

"I have to go back to Max, and you have to find him a good babysitter, remember?"

Alexander stopped, but his muscles were rigid against his hand.

"I'm going to your room tonight," he said, looking him in the eye.

Magnus had to consciously slow his breathing. He shoved his trembling fingers into his pockets and nodded abruptly before walking away as fast as his weak knees allowed.

He closed the door to Max's room and leaned against it, watching without seeing how Max was playing with his action figures.

It would be good.

Everything would be fine.

They would have sex and eventually eliminate this mutual obsession from their systems. And then Magnus could go.

Go home. And forget about this crazy summer.

Just one night and then it would be over.


	13. Sometimes what we want can't get easily

Magnus looked at himself in the mirror, taking in his flushed face, dilated pupils, slightly red and puffy lips from all his eager chewing.

He looked at his T-shirt and sweatpants, wondering if he should take them off. He usually slept naked, but what if Alexander thought he was ...

God, he was being ridiculous. Magnus wondered if this was how a bride felt on his wedding night centuries ago, waiting for his husband to come to his room and consummate their relationship.

The idea made him laugh, which helped to break the tension building under his skin.

It was just sex, for crying out loud. Not that there was ever something “right” and effortless about sex for Magnus, but with Alexander, sex felt as natural as breathing. It felt like something he needed rather than something he had to do. Besides, Alexander knew how inexperienced he was. There was no need to impress him.

If the sex was terrible, so much the better, he would finally be cured of his obsession with Alexander. Last time he felt so needy after they shared orgasms that he was a bit scared, he would be so much worse if they had real sex and he really enjoyed it.

Oh fuck it. Enough.

Magnus stripped off his shirt and stripped off his sweatpants and boxers. Naked, he ran a hand through his hair and gave himself an appraising look. He was a handsome guy, objectively. He was an Bane. He may not be as handsome as Ragnor or Raphael but he knew he was not unattractive.

Besides, Alexander loved him.

The thought sent an emotion through his body, his dick shaking. Magnus lazily stroked himself to the utmost hardness, looking at himself in the mirror.

His breath hitched when he imagined Alexander's eyes on him, watching him jerk off. His free hand traveled to his nipple, pinching it. A small moan left his mouth, closing his eyes as he remembered how Alexander's tongue felt on his nipples, wet and heavenly.

Fuck, at this rate, it wouldn't last a minute when Alexander touched it. Maybe I should start speeding things up.

Magnus crawled into his bed and lay on his back, sighing in pleasure as the cold sheets touched his overheated skin. Reaching for his nightstand, he grabbed the bottle of lube and quickly covered his fingers with it.

Spreading his legs, he circled his slippery fingers over his hole, massaging them, letting him fingertips hook on the edge. It certainly felt strange, vaguely good and vaguely bad, but the very thought that he was preparing for Alexander's cock excited him more than the act itself.

Magnus obviously knew what to expect. Since some of his brothers were in gay relationships, he had heard so much about gay sex that he felt he was well informed on the subject, even despite his inexperience.

He knew that his older brothers were the dominant ones; it was hard to miss with all the innuendo they had exchanged with their loved ones. But personally, even when Magnus had wondered if he could be gay, the thought of being upstairs didn't turn him on. He had always been more intrigued by the idea of being on the receiving end of a dick. There was something about the idea of being taken, playing the role of submission, a role that was considered unnatural and taboo for a man ... something about that had always appealed to Magnus, in theory. However, his disaster of a sex life had quickly crushed that curiosity.

Until now.

Alexander came in his life.

Magnus gasped, dipped his fingers and spread his legs wider as he imagined a heavy body on top of him, crushing him against the mattress, hazel eyes scorching him as a long, hard dick pierced him ...

Oh God.

He added a third finger and pushed them hard inside him, delighting in the stretch and burn as he scissors them open. It hurt a little, but he didn't care. Alexander liked it when it hurt. Maybe Alexander would hurt him first.

The idea made him shiver.

Magnus wasn't sure he'd like rough BDSM, but the thought of being pounded, shoved and treated like it was just a hole for Alexander's big dick... made his balls ache, his hole closed around his fingers.

Magnus heard himself groan and paused, panting, three fingers buried deep inside him.

He intended to prepare himself so as not to waste time when Alexander arrived. It should probably stop. It would be mortifying if Alexander saw him screwing himself up like he was some kind of whore who couldn't wait to get screwed, which didn't feel that far from the truth at the moment. He loved this. He could only imagine how much better Alexander's dick would feel.

Hell, Magnus couldn't believe it was him. He had gone from having almost no sexual desire to being some kind of nympho.

The idea made him grin in amusement as he continued finger fucking. Magnus looked down at his senseless spread thighs, his hand moving between his legs, his hard cock almost touching his flat, shaking stomach. He looked like a whore.

At that moment, the door opened and Alexander entered the room.

He stood still in the doorway, just staring.

Magnus felt his face heat up, but he didn't remove his fingers, his gaze meeting Alexander's as Alexander slowly closed the door behind him and leaned against it. Hazel eyes framed by dark lashes stared at him hungrily, pupils dilated and expression dark. That gaze felt like a physical touch, making Magnus's nipples ache and his hole tightening around his fingers. God, why wasn't Alexander naked and on top of him?

It felt like time dragged by as Alexander began to unbutton his shirt, revealing his broad, muscular chest and hard abs, his heavy gaze still on Magnus.

Magnus stared at him, paralyzed, his arousal shooting up as Alexander unzipped his zipper and dropped his pants. His black boxers followed the same path, leaving him gloriously naked.

Licking his dry lips, Magnus pulled his fingers out and looked up from Alexander's erection to his face. There was something dark and predatory in those eyes. Magnus felt like a virgin sacrifice to a wild beast.

It probably shouldn't excite him that much.

"Fuck me," he whispered.

***

Fuck me

Alexander had never thought that words could have so much power.

But as soon as Magnus said that, looking at him with that irritatingly needy look that pressed all his buttons, he felt like his body was no longer his. Blood pumped into his dick and balls, demanding for release.

His fingers were disgustingly shaking with impatience as he pulled on a condom and lubricated his sore dick. The whole time he couldn't take his gaze away from the boy: from his slightly tan, golden skin, long, toned limbs, glassy golden eyes, and panting mouth. He had never thought of other men as beautiful, but that word suited Magnus better. Beautiful. He was beautiful from the top of his messy tousled hair to his perfect toes. Not even his erect dick ruined the image. To Alexander's surprise, seeing another man's trash wasn't a detour. It was really exciting to see the evidence of how much Magnus loved him.

As if reading his thoughts, Magnus spread his legs wider and his slippery hole flashed.

Fuck.

Alexander used to think gay sex was pointless. Although he did not consider himself a homophobe, he had been raised traditionally.

His education aside, he just couldn't imagine wanting to fuck another man's ass. The women were softer, prettier. Wanting to fuck a man had always seemed strange to him.

But in that moment, as he stared at Magnus's glittering hole, stretched out and slippery just for him ... he felt like he'd taken a powerful aphrodisiac, his dick so hard it was starting to hurt. Arousal was drowning out all complex thinking, leaving only the basic desire to fuck, take, have.

"Fuck me," Magnus repeated hesitantly, his pretty lips trembling. He met Alexander's gaze. "Please. I don't want foreplay."

Alexander rolled onto him and hooked Magnus's legs around his waist. He also didn't want foreplay. They had had weeks of foreplay. All he wanted was to finally screw this ridiculous confused human being out of his system once and for all.

Leaning on one elbow, Alexander lined up and thrust inside Magnus with a strong thrust, clenching his jaw as his tight walls enveloped his dick. Magnus made a small sound, his eyes rolling to the back of his head.

Alexander hit rock bottom and stood still, his right hand gripping Magnus's hip, gritting his teeth as he fought for control. But control was still elusive, the mad urge to resist impossible. He gave a small, shallow thrust.

A groan came from Magnus's mouth, a shameless and loud sound. Magnus was staring at him in a daze, his face flushed, his eyes completely glassy with excitement.

Jesus fucking Christ.

Alexander went berserk, hitting hard.

Magnus screamed, his fingers digging into Alexander's ass, as if trying to push him deeper into him.

Alexander could not contain himself any longer. It was not gentle. His cock was in and out of Magnus in a hard rhythm that revealed just how far away he was. Part of him, a distant and civilized part, was incredulous of his own behavior. He was being a little better than an animal, fucking Magnus like he was just a wet hole for him to fuck. Or rather, the wet hole that Alexander had wanted to fuck for years. He was fucking Magnus in a way that only a man driven by his sexual frustration would fuck.

But Magnus, bless him, seemed perfectly happy with that.

He was moaning, little breathless moans and ah, ah, ah filling the room as Magnus clung to him, fucking himself on Alexander's dick as roughly and desperately as Alexander felt. Alexander could almost savor the feeling of finally in the air, in the primal, hungry rhythm their bodies had found, in the sheer pleasure and need written all over Magnus's face.

Within minutes, Magnus was shattered beneath him, writhing and clawing at his shoulders like a sex-hungry little demon, his whimpers and moans growing in volume.

"More, more, ah, please, ah!".0There! It feels so good."

Alexander obeyed, hitting the same spot over and over and over again. His hand moved up Magnus's chest and pinched his nipple hard.

Magnus arched up, screaming. Alexander pinched him again, and then the other, harder.

Magnus complained, thrusting on Alexander's cock.

"Oh god, how good. I love this, don't stop. I need you, I need you so much."

Dammit. It was as if this boy was created to be the personification of everything that drove him crazy. He was fucking perfect. It was incredibly annoying.

"Kiss me," Alexander bit down, thrusting his cock against Magnus over and over again.

Magnus's glassy eyes didn't seem able to focus. He reached for Alexander blindly, leaning awkwardly to kiss him. Although the kiss wasn't very skillful, it was incredibly eager. Alexander had never thought that inexperience could be so exciting, but it was. Just thinking it was Magnus's first drove him crazy. He was Magnus's first man, the first dick he'd ever taken.

And the last, a voice whispered cruelly in the back of his mind, a voice that Alexander was trying to ignore, but was growing louder. His hand found its way to Magnus's throat. Looking Magnus in the eye, he squeezed and slammed into him.

Magnus made a strangled sound, his gaze going unfocused again.

Watching him carefully, Alexander increased the pressure on his throat as his hips pumped forward at a relentless pace, hitting Magnus on the mattress. Magnus was groaning now, his face red and his eyes wet, his erection dripping against Alexander's stomach. Alexander couldn't look away. God, it was so beautiful. He looked right under him, like he was born to take Alexander's dick"

"Say you're mine," Alexander heard himself say.

Magnus groaned and nodded weakly, his eyes glassy with pleasure.

Alexander tightened his fingers around Magnus's throat.

"Say it.!!"

"I am yours Alexander," Magnus growled, sounding completely gone.

Alexander grunted and thrust harder, stabbing short, hard against Magnus's prostate, sweat running down his forehead as he tried to avoid his orgasm. Dammit.

He came with a groan, nipping at Magnus's ear and tightening his throat.

"Come for me," he said, wrapping his other hand around Magnus's erection." Come for me, babe. "

Magnus shuddered beneath him, his walls tightening around Alexander's smooth dick and then he too came, wet and sticky on Alexander's stomach, a high-pitched moan coming from his mouth.

"Alexander," he whispered.

Christ.

Alexander tried to think, but was unable to do anything but gasp, his mind still clouded with pleasure.

Beneath him, Magnus was doing the same, breathing heavily now that Alexander had loosened his throat.

Finally, Alexander raised his head to look at him.

Damn hell.

Magnus looked absolutely screwed up, his eyes glassy, his hair damp from sweat, and his lips red from biting them. Although he still radiated satisfaction, he now showed signs of anguish, his eyes filling with tears and his hands gripping Alexander's shoulders.

Frowning, Alexander rolled onto his side and quickly scooped him up in his arms.

"Shh," he murmured, stroking Magnus's back soothingly. "I'm here. I have you."

Magnus clung to him. He still seemed partly beside himself, but he was falling fast.

Alexander stroked his hair, his back, muttering sweet words. He did it without thinking; an instinct to protect and nurture arose naturally.

He had never had anyone enter subspace with so little. Some subs did not enter subspace at all. But he probably shouldn't have been surprised that Magnus had: he trusted and responded beautifully with him. And heck, Magnus wasn't the only one to get carried away during a pretty vanilla scene. Alexander's orgasm had been far more satisfying than it should have been. Normally it took a lot more to achieve an orgasm anywhere remotely close in intensity to this. It was ... unnerving.

Frowning, Alexander kissed the top of Magnus's head absently, tucking the younger man's head under his chin. Magnus made a sound of satisfaction, his shivering lessened and his breathing hitched.

He still clung to Alexander like a baby koala, but other than that, it seemed to have calmed down.

"Magnus," Alexander said quietly, running his fingers through Magnus's hair. "You're good?"

He was more sorry than hearing Magnus nod before the boy raised his head and gave him a dazzling smile.

"Yes," he said, even though his eyes were still suspiciously bright. "Perfect."

Alexander looked at that smile, that lovely flushed face, and thought: Yes, you are. His fingers itched for his sketchbook. He wanted to capture that smile and that sated, satisfied look on Magnus's face.

Magnus laughed.

"Stop looking at me like that."

"Looking like what?"Alexander said, his arm tightening around him.

"Like you didn't screw my brain," Magnus said before leaning in to kiss him softly." I loved this, ”he whispered against Alexander's mouth. " I'm so glad it was you."

Alexander kissed him hard, his blood boiling with a strange, primal feeling that had nothing to do with lust. It was desire, but it wasn't the type to harden his dick. It was the kind of desire that felt deepest, most needed. He wanted this boy, this young man who had crawled under his skin like a delicious addiction in the short time they had known each other. He wanted to have him, to possess him on all the levels there was to possess another person without getting lost as well. Or maybe that was the problem: he wanted to lose himself in this sweet and incredible human being who somehow managed to quench the deep and insatiable hunger that Alexander had always carried inside him.

When he finally allowed Magnus to break the kiss, Magnus's pupils were dilated again. He blinked dazedly, as if awakened from a dream, before sighing and resting his head on Alexander's chest.

"It didn't work," he stated.

"What didn't work?" Alexander said, his hand finding its way back to Magnus's hair. He couldn't even explain to himself why he couldn't stop touching it.

"The sex.It didn't work. Are you sure the whole 'fuck someone out of your system' thing ever works" Magnus looked at him and wrinkled his nose curiously. "To be honest, I always thought it was an exaggeration, just an excuse for people to fuck."

Alexander gave a short laugh.

"Maybe sometimes it is," he said. "But it does help. I tend to lose interest in a woman after having her."

Magnus's gaze turned serious.

"That's ... a little sick."

Alexander sighed.

"Do not look at me that way. Not that I'm really the 'fuck' em and dump 'type. I've always tried my best to make my relationships work, but… There's something wrong with me. I can't seem to. The few crushes I had have never lasted. ”He shrugged, looking away. "Maybe I'm not cut out for relationships."

Magnus hummed thoughtfully.

"But do you want one?"

Yes.

The answer that almost left Alexander's mouth surprised him. He had thought that he had given up on relationships after Lydia, accepting that he would never be able to find a person who would finally fill the bottomless pit in his soul. It seemed like he hadn't. Or it was just harder to remember how that feeling of dissatisfaction felt when he held Magnus in his arms.

Or maybe you're just being a greedy, selfish jerk again. You're going to take and take and take until I have nothing else to give you.

Alexander clenched his jaw.

Magnus ran his fingers across Alexander's jaw lightly.

"It's okay if you don't want to answer," he said. " I didn't want to make you angry."

"I'm not angry. Not with you."

Magnus studied him carefully.

"Well, you're mad at someone."

Alexander closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath.

"If you know what's good for you, you'll take your first flight to London tomorrow and never come back."

"Why?"

Alexander glared at him.

"Do I need to explain?"

Magnus's eyebrows furrowed in something that wasn't entirely confused.

"Yes, actually, I want you explain."

"I don't want to screw you," Alexander said dryly. " You think I'm a better man than I am. It's not like that. Trust me, I'm a jerk."

"If you really were an asshole, you wouldn't worry about fucking me," Magnus said, sliding his hand over Alexander's shoulder and tracing the curve of his biceps." I feel good about you, ”he said with painful honesty, meeting Alexander's gaze. Insurance." Like nothing could hurt me when I'm with you."

Jesus fucking Christ.

Alexander stared at him, torn between laughing and kissing this ridiculous, precious human being.

"I'm trying to be a good man here, Magnus."

Magnus gave him a crooked smile.

"And I appreciate the thought, I really do, but I'm not stupid, Alexander. Don't worry: I have no intention of falling in love with you and breaking my heart. I know it would be a disaster. We are from different worlds."  
Alexander didn't know how to tell him that it was far from the main problem. Far away.

"Anyway," Magnus said lightly. "I am well aware that this ... adventure has an expiration date. I'm not going to cry into your chest and hold onto you when we say goodbye. I am a big boy."

When Alexander looked at him silently, Magnus cleared his throat, a little lost.

"I mean ... Not that I'm pressuring you to have more sex or anything. You really don't need to dress it up if you don't want to do it anymore. It's okay. ”He chuckled awkwardly, sitting up. " You already found another babysitter for Max, so I guess I really don't have ... any reason to stay here. I won't go home yet, my passport isn't ready anyway, but I'm moving. I have more than enough money for a hotel thanks to the ridiculous salary you paid me. ”He got out of bed, wincing as he shifted.

Alexander watched Magnus get dressed and had to bite his tongue to keep from saying something he shouldn't. You are mine. You said you were mine I won't let you go.

If he said that, Magnus would think he was crazy. A controlling and messy jerk. People said stupid things during sex, including Alexander, and that didn't mean anything.

Alexander knew that, by his silence, he was allowing Magnus to come to the wrong conclusion: that he had managed to get Magnus out of his system and no longer wanted him. Alexander knew that he had hurt Magnus, no matter what Magnus said.

But he had better find out how screwed Alexander was. He could be disinterested for once, damn it.

You destroy everything you touch. Lydia's voice rang in his head, as sweet as it was poisonous. You know you're the one who got me back on drugs. Deep down, you know it. Your coldness, your suffocating and controlling ways, your revenge, your anger issues, your wicked desires, your selfishness, you are fucking poison, Alec.

Alexander watched Magnus remove his suitcase from the closet. It was already mostly packed. Magnus would soon be packing the rest of his belongings into it.

Gritting his teeth, Alexander got out of bed and began to dress. He didn't want to be here when Magnus left. He couldn't be here. He didn't trust himself at all.

Magnus's voice stopped him at the door.

"Thank you," he said in a low voice. "For everything you did to help me discover myself."magnus said with a little sad in his voice.

Alexander bit the inside of his cheek so hard he tasted blood. Being a good man has never been so difficult.

"Tell my driver to take you," he said in a broken voice and drove away.

He ignored how empty his chest felt.

He was used to that.


	14. Morgenstern

Magnus was getting into a cab when his phone vibrated in his hand.

He winced when he saw whose text it was,its from Jace. 

Shit..

Valentine had probably told him what he had seen a few hours earlier.

Getting ready, Magnus click the message.

"Hello! Are you still up? can i talk with you?"

Magnus sighed, looking out the dark window as the car began to move. Trying to explain himself to Jace was the least attractive he could think of right now, but he probably owed the Morgenstern an explanation.

He wrote:

"Yes. Can I stop by your house? I wanted to talk with you."

The answer came almost immediately.

"I'll be waiting."

"I'll be there soon."

Magnus sighed again. Turning to the driver, he gave the Morgenstern's address. Now he was glad he hadn't taken up Alexander's offer to borrow his driver.

Alexander.

Magnus leaned back against the seat and looked out the window again. He ... He didn't know what he was feeling right now. A strange, stinging sensation seemed to have curled up in his stomach, an emotion he couldn't name. I didn't know what it was about. He felt sad? There was sadness, definitely, mainly because he regretted not saying goodbye to Max and explaining why he was leaving, but it wasn't just that. There was another sensation he couldn't identify, one that clenched his gut.

"Don't be an idiot," he murmured under his breath. Alexander had made it clear that he was over it, that this ... thing should end now. Magnus agreed with him. He did it. He had told Alexander that he was resigning for this very reason.

He had to go before he could forget that he didn't really belong in that house, before he could invest too much in Max and vice versa. Before he could forget what it felt like to live without Alexander's eyes on him.

Magnus grimaced and shifted in his seat, immediately regretting it when a slight discomfort tore through his ass. It felt a bit sore and generally gross. It had gone so fast that he hadn't even showered after sex. He could only hope it didn't stink of sex.

He could only hope Jace didn't notice anything. It was bad enough that he felt like the worst traitor after being caught kissing the man they had asked him to watch out for, but to add insult to injury, he felt like he had hurt Alexander, not the Morgenstern

The whole spy thing had never sat well with him, and it was something he had carefully avoided thinking about for the past few weeks. It was good that his and Alexander's adventure was over before Alexander could find out. He could only imagine how angry Alexander would have been if he ever found out. Now I never would. Because they were done, which was a good thing. It was.

Magnus was still thinking about that when the car pulled into the Morgenstern mansion.

After paying the driver, Magnus pulled out his suitcase and looked at the big house. It looked almost menacing in the dark, looming over him. Only a few windows were lit.

Bracing himself, Magnus headed purposefully toward the house. There was no point putting off the inevitable.

***

Valentine Morgenstern watched his husband walk across the room.

"He said he'd be here soon," Jace said, frowning.

Valentine put aside the papers he had been sorting.

"And I'm sure it will be.Sit down."

Jace pursed his lips and shot him a frustrated look. He continued pacing, running his hand through his hair.

"We should never have asked Magnus to spy on Lightwood."

He knew what not to do. Now the boy will surely get hurt.

Valentine lips twisted into a sardonic smile.

"That boy is, what, five years younger than you?Old enough to say no. And he didn't exactly look hurt when I saw him with Lightwood's tongue down his throat."

Jace didn't seem calm.

"Precisely, Vale," he said." Alexander Lightwood is ... you know how he is. He doesn't even bother to hide his animosity towards us anymore. He's just playing with us right now! He's an asshole who enjoys playing with people's heads. And he is straight. I'm pretty sure he's homophobic, at least a little bit. Why would he bother to mess with Magnus's head for no ulterior motive? He must have found out what we asked Magnus to do, and it's kind of a sick game for him."

In private, Valentine agreed, but decided to become the devil's advocate.

"I seem to remember that you were also 'straight', until you met me."

The frown finally left Jace face. He smiled, his eyes shining with amusement.

"You mean until I sucked your dick for a better grade, professor?"

Valentine narrowed his eyes at him, his dick wriggling in his pants.

"I have good memories of that."

Grinning, Jace straddled his lap. Wrapping his arms around Valentine neck, he gave him a soft kiss that quickly turned into a greedy one. Pulling him closer, Valentine took over the kiss. Jace made a satisfied sound, sucking his tongue in a way that went straight to Valentine dick. Damn it, it had been five years; Was he still supposed to feel like this?

"I have fond memories of that, too," Jace said when they broke the much-needed air kiss. His eyes were smiling. "And it was the best decision of my life."

Valentine arms tightened around Jace. He stared into Jace unmatched color eyes, filled with warmth and love, and suddenly wondered what his life would have been like now if five years ago he hadn't accepted his student's outrageous offer to suck his dick for a better grade. Normally, I would have reported it to the board. But with Jace, he had allowed his dick to think. Now I couldn't be more grateful for it.

"I love you," Valentine said, his voice a little rough.

Jace smiled softly at him.

A movement at the door made him look over Jace shoulder.

"I'm sorry," Magnus said, walking away from the door. His face was a little pink." I didn't mean ... Your butler let me in."

Jace kissed Valentine on the cheek before getting off his lap.

"No, come in.We have been waiting for you."

"Yes," Valentine said, his eyes looking down at the suitcase at Magnus's feet. He frowned. "Did you move out of the Lightwood house?"

Magnus nodded, looking away.

"His son needs a real babysitter right now. I felt a bit useless, to be honest. ”He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, a rueful smile curving his lips. " I know what you probably want to talk about, but you see, anyway, it wouldn't have been of much help. I will no longer work for Alexander. I couldn't spy on him even if… ”He trailed off, shrugging with a helpless, guilty look on his face.

Alexander.

After what he saw a few hours ago, it probably shouldn't have surprised Valentine that Magnus had gotten close enough to Lightwood to refer to him by his first name, but somehow, he did.

Valentine eyed the boy thoughtfully. Magnus was an attractive young man. He wasn't as handsome as Jace, although Valentine might be biased on that, but he was charming. Very charming, without being feminine. His golden eyes were pretty and ... slightly red, as if he had been crying recently.

Valentine eyes traveled to Magnus's neck and narrowed when he saw finger-shaped bruises.

He stiffened as he remembered the rumors about Lightwood's penchant for violence and cruelty.

"He hurt you?"

Magnus seemed to freeze before his hand flew to his throat. The fading of the blush on his cheeks intensified again.

"No, it was ... It was consensual."

Jace looked stunned.

"You mean you really had sex with him?"

Magnus made a face.

"Look, don't be offended, but I don't see how it's your business. I'm sorry I broke my promise, I really do, but I don't have to talk about my sex life. ”His expression turned a bit strained. "It's over, anyway. Alexander finished it."

Valentine exchanged a look with Jace. 

Jace shook his head slightly and smiled at Magnus.

"Of course you don't have to explain anything to us. Sorry if we gave you that impression. You are our friend, Magnus. We care about you. We ... actually feel guilty for dragging you into this." Magnus looked at him confused.

"Guilty? Why?"

Jace winced.

"I think Lightwood might have found out about your… connection to us, and that's why he seduced you."

A laugh, harsh but full of amusement, came out of Magnus's mouth.

"Trust me, it definitely wasn't that," he said." I know it. What happened between us was just between him and me. It had nothing to do with the strangely strained relationship between you and Alexander. ”He gave Valentine a firm look. "Are you going to tell me what it's really about?"

Valentine looked at him with a frown.

"You've known the man for a month. Don't kid yourself into thinking you know the real him, Magnus. " Magnus scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest. "Right. Why don't you clarify who the real him is?"

Valentine was disturbed. He could feel the defensiveness of the boy rising over Lightwood, of all people.

"I think we should tell him, Vale," Jace said quietly.

Valentine sighed, knowing that Jace was right. He hadn't really wanted to talk about it with Magnus. He seemed like a good boy, but the subject was ... deeply personal, after all.

"You probably heard that my father Henry Morgenstern was something of a tyrant." When Magnus nodded, Valentine continued reluctantly. "My father never accepted my sexuality and constantly pushed me towards women. Towards his death, he was not exactly in his right mind, and decided that it was a good idea to simply announce in front of all of society and the media that I had become engaged to his old friend's daughter. Robert Lightwood's daughter. The politician?"

There was no hint of recognition or understanding on Magnus's face. Valentine almost snorted. It seemed incredible that someone you knew could be completely in the dark about this scandal. But again, the boy was new here. Of course he hadn't heard of that.

"Obviously I didn't take it well when I found out about the old man's plans," Valentine said. "My father and I argued about it, he had a heart attack and died. After his death, I announced that the engagement wasn't real and went back to Jace. ”He grimaced.I didn't consider the third part in all of this: the girl he was supposedly engaged to.

A hint of understanding finally appeared in Magnus's eyes.

"Oh. She must have been humiliated."

Valentine lips thinned.

"It was. Apparently, she became a laughingstock.”He frowned." People in those circles are worse than vultures, and she was just a girl, not even nineteen. She ended up having a mental breakdown and cutting her wrists."

"She lived," Valentine said when he saw Magnus's expression. "But it caused an even bigger scandal. Finally, the girl's family had to take her away. Now she lives in another state that I know of."

"What does that have to do with Alexander?" Magnus said.

Valentine met his gaze.

"Alexander Lightwood is his older brother."

Magnus blinked.

" He has a sister?"

"Yes, a sister," said Jace. " They share a mother. Lightwood's mother married Luke Garroway after her father's death and gave birth to a daughter, Isabelle."

Magnus frowned deeply.

"So you think ... do you think Alexander is seeking revenge?"

Valentine smiled humorlessly.

"Oh, we're pretty sure of that. Lightwood is not known for letting go of old grudges."

There was a furrow between Magnus's eyebrows.

"So why did you accept the partnership agreement?Why did you make him the CEO of your company?"

Valentine jaw clenched.

"It was a mistake. A careless mistake. I didn't know it was related to Isabelle Garroway. They do not share a surname. It occurred to me that his mother married a Garroway. ”Valentine pinched the bridge of his nose. " I left my family and these social circles decades ago, Magnus. I was the black sheep of my family. Until recently, I had no reason to associate with them. I no longer have friends in those circles. I learned too late about Lightwood's relationship with Isabelle Garroway."

He felt Jace hand on his shoulder.

"It's not your fault, Vale," he said quietly. "You couldn't know."

Valentine made a face. His ignorance did not excuse him. He had been too irresponsible, content to shed the responsibility of his father's company, Henry's pride and joy. Valentine had heard enough about Alexander Lightwood to know that he was an excellent and very successful CEO, so he hadn't bothered to do personal background checks. It had been stupid of him. Neglected.

Valentine looked at Magnus.

"Now you know why we don't trust Lightwood."

Magnus looked thoughtful.

"You should have told me this from the beginning."

"What would that have changed?"

Magnus looked at him like he was crazy. "I would have asked him about it."

Jace chuckled.

"And do you think Lightwood would have told you?"

Magnus shrugged.

"Perhaps. Alexander is not unreasonable. And to my knowledge, he has always been honest with me."

Valentine exchanged a look with Jace. Poor guy.

I was delirious. What had Lightwood done to brainwash him into thinking he was a decent man?

"Alexander Lightwood is a shark,"Valentine said flatly. "I chose it because it is a shark. He has a reputation for determined cruelty in business circles. After finding out about his relationship with Isabelle, I looked at his past and it seems that it is the same in his personal life. His first girlfriend left him, claiming he was cruel and had problems. And his past adventures allude to the same thing. And I'm not even touching on the disaster that was his relationship with his wife. Everything he touches burns." Valentine met Magnus's gaze again and forced his voice to soften. 

"Forget about him, Magnus. Now I'm sorry I dragged you into this mess. In my defense, I didn't expect him to take that kind of interest in a man. And that's why we don't think he didn't have ulterior motives with you." Valentine didn't say,

"It's okay," Magnus said sadly. "Thank you for telling me. Not that it matters now. I am moving to a hotel. In fact, I was on my way there when Jace texted me."

"Hotel? You absolutely should stay here, ” Jace said in a tone that was open to argument. He walked over to Magnus and grabbed the suitcase at his feet. "Let's go."

Magnus seemed lost for a moment, just watching Jace retreat.

A slight smile curved Valentine lips. Over the course of their relationship, he had caught Jace in more ways than one.

"You better do what he says," Valentine said, reaching for the stack of papers again. "Trust me".

After a moment, Magnus followed Jace out of the room.

Valentine looked at the boy's hunched shoulders and felt a twinge of guilt again.

It really shouldn't have dragged him into this mess.


	15. Dinner with Morgenstern

The night before dinner, Magnus hadn't slept well. Valentine words had plagued his mind all night, making him toss and turn in his bed as he tried to reconcile the image Valentine had painted with the man he knew. A shark. Messed up. Cruel.

Rationally, he knew that Valentine might be right. Magnus didn't fool himself into thinking that he was someone special, that he was the only one who could see the real Alexander, or that Alexander had been softer to just him, which was a possibility he didn't allow himself to entertain. Dammit.

But Magnus still had trouble believing rumors and other people's opinions about his own observations. About his own instincts. He had never felt more secure in his life than when he was with Alexander.

Could it really be that delusional?

It did not matter. He and Alexander, whatever the two of them had, it was over. Completed. Finish. I shouldn't even be thinking about Alexander anymore. He needed to fix his shit and forget about him.

Except it wasn't that easy when he still had finger-shaped bruises on his hips and neck.

Every morning Magnus would look at them in the mirror, watching them change color and become less bright. Was he a little sick that he didn't want them to fade away? Who did not want to cover them? But this day, he had to. Jen and his girlfriend were coming to dinner, and if Jem saw the bruises, he would definitely tell Ragnor, and the very thought made Magnus flinch. His overprotective brother would probably be on the next flight to Boston if he found out. 

So he settled on a turtleneck shirt that covered most of the bruises. The ones he didn't cover, Magnus covered with a thick layer of concealer that he had borrowed from one of the twins. It wasn't a perfect camouflage, but it was passable if Jem didn't look at his neck too closely.

At night, Magnus's nerves felt absolutely raw, his palms sweaty and his fingers trembling. He knew he shouldn't be anxious to see Alexander, but in truth, a part of him yearned for it. He felt like a substance addict who knew he shouldn't even look at his drug of choice and yet couldn't help but want it.

It was pathetic. There was no guarantee that Alexander would come. Valentine hadn't been very welcoming when he invited Alexander, and even if Alexander had intended to come, he might have changed his mind after Magnus left.

Magnus almost laughed at himself. Why would Alexander change his plans because of him? If Valentine was right and Alexander was really playing some kind of game, Magnus's presence at dinner wouldn't make him suddenly change his mind. If there was one thing Magnus absolutely agreed with Valentine on, it was Alexander's determination. If Alexander became obsessed with something, he got it, by whatever means necessary.

"You look at the edge," Jace said softly, coming over to stand next to him. He was looking at Magnus with curiosity and something else in his gaze. " You can go to your room if you want. We will tell Jem and Tessa that you are not feeling well."

It was kind of funny how carefully Jace avoided saying Alexander's name, as if he didn't speak of the demon, he wouldn't show up.

But Jace was giving him a way out.

Magnus almost wanted to take it. If he stayed in his room, he wouldn't get caught between Alexander and the Morgenstern. There would be no discomfort. But as tempting as the option was, Magnus couldn't take it, he wasn't strong enough to take it. If he didn't see Alexander tonight, it was unlikely he would see him again, and that was ... The simple thought made his stomach hurt.

Magnus shook his head, unable to meet Jace eyes.

Fortunately, at that moment, voices were heard, and Jem Carstairs walked in, followed closely by a beautiful brown hair girl, who was presumably his fiancé, Tessa Gray. 

Presentations were made. Magnus smiled, nodded, and muttered something affirmative at appropriate times, but his heart wasn't in it. He felt that someone else had taken over his body as his heart pounded and his ears tightened, focused on the sound of a car pulling into the driveway.

He was here.

Forty-three seconds passed before the Morgenstern butler showed Alexander into the room.

Immediately, the huge room seemed to get smaller, as if the man who had just entered skewed his center of gravity towards himself. Or maybe it was just him. But Magnus didn't think so. The conversation between the Morgenstern and their friends immediately died down.

Alexander looked deliciously good, as always. Black suit, black shirt, and the air of confidence and superiority that seemed to make every man in the room nervous. Alexander was one of those men who attracted attention simply by walking into a room.

Feeling Jace gaze on him, Magnus looked away hastily.

Determinedly he didn't look at Alexander as Alexander exchanged rather cold jokes with the Morgenstern. Alexander's voice really sounded cold and sharp when he spoke to them. Valentine voice wasn't exactly friendly when he introduced Alexander to his friends, either.

"And you already know Magnus," Valentine finished, his black eyes watching Alexander carefully.

Cold hazel eyes met Valentine steady and calm.

"Yes," Alexander said, his face inscrutable.

Finally, he looked directly at Magnus, and those eyes seemed to catch Magnus directly at them.

Magnus rocked to his feet and had to grab the windowsill behind him to avoid moving toward Alexander. He wanted. God help him, he wanted to. The Morgenstern, for all their kindness, didn't feel as close to him as Alexander. It felt like he was on the wrong side of the clear division in the room.

Magnus swallowed hard and gave Alexander a slight nod that hopefully seemed neutral rather than making it obvious that he couldn't speak, his mouth dry.

Alexander only looked at him for a moment before looking away.

"Dinner is ready," Jace said, breaking the tense silence. "Why don't we all move to the dining room?"

There were affirmative murmurs, but Magnus could barely hear them. He had never been so aware of another person in his life. Everyone else except Alexander looked blurry, Alexander's tall frame the only thing in focus. It felt like the entire room was leaning in Alexander's direction. It was unbearable.

Dinner passed in a haze. Alexander was sitting as far away from him as possible, which could be a coincidence, of course, but Magnus sneakily suspected it was something Jace was doing.

Jace shouldn't have bothered, Magnus thought grumpily. It wasn't like Alexander was even looking at him. He hadn't looked at Magnus once since dinner started. Not that he missed Alexander's creepy look or anything. He did not do it. Obviously.

It just felt ... bad. Being in the same room  
with Alexander and not being worth a look.

Alexander was having a conversation about politics, of all things, with Valentine, Jace, and Jem, although he didn't bother to pretend to be nice or friendly. Although Magnus had never thought of Alexander as likable, it puzzled him how different, how colder, this version of Alexander was. He seemed to look at Jace with slight scorn and mockery, which wasn't surprising if he was the older brother of the girl Valentine had publicly rejected in favor of Jace. To his credit, Jace only grinned at Alexander's thinly veiled insults, as Valentine jaw tightened more and more as the night wore on. At this rate, Alexander was going to get beaten up before dinner was over.

Stop staring at him, damn it, Magnus told himself, staring at his salad. He's not even looking at you. This is pathetic.

Annoyed with himself, Magnus began a conversation with Tessa who was sitting next to him.

"… They are out of danger, but my dad will need extensive rehabilitation for his damaged spine. My mother had a head injury and now she has some memory problems, but the doctors think she should get better in time ..."

Magnus could barely pay attention to him. He could finally feel Alexander's gaze on him, he wouldn't mistake that feeling for anything else, and it was a struggle not to turn his head.

After a few moments, he lost the battle with himself and shot him a quick glance.

But Alexander wasn't looking at him. He was leaning back in his chair, sipping his wine without doing anything as he chatted with Jem.

Magnus deflated. Had he imagined it?

Why wasn't Alexander looking at him? They had parted company on friendly terms, technically. There was no reason for them not to speak. As friends. Except that Magnus couldn't see Alexander as a friend. Maybe I never have, not really. I saw a man first, always. He didn't know what it was about, what made him so aware of Alexander's body, his hands, his eyes, his ironic lips. Objectively, Alexander was the most handsome man in the room.

Fuck, he was totally the sexiest. Magnus wanted to lick that sharp jaw and suck on the Adam's apple. He wanted to bury his fingers in Alexander's hair, bring Alexander's face close to his own neck, and beg him for more marks and hickeys.

Swallowing, Magnus averted his eyes, only to find Jace watchful gaze on him.

Curse. That was another reason why he couldn't be nice to Alexander: Magnus was the guest of the Morgenstern, his friends. Valentine and Jace definitely wouldn't understand his grief for the man who was supposed to ruin them.

But would he do it?

Frowning, Magnus returned his gaze to his salad.

Was Alexander as ruthless as Valentine thought?

Magnus's fork stopped on its way to his mouth.

Maybe I should find out. Maybe he should have Alexander alone, just to ask him about his intentions. After all, he didn't owe Valentine and Jace? The least he could do to repay his kindness was to find out for sure whether Alexander was really playing a rogue game or not.

The more Magnus thought about it, the more he liked the idea. He wanted to help Valentine and Jace, and he liked the idea of asking openly rather than some crude and ridiculous tactics like spying.

With the decision made, Magnus turned his eyes to Alexander.

He met Alexander's gaze on his plate, his jaw clenched as he sliced the roast beef in front of him. His thoughts seemed distant, his eyes cold and distant.

Magnus cleared his throat a little.

"Alexander?"

Everyone's attention seemed to turn to him, the conversations stopped abruptly, but Magnus kept his gaze only on Alexander, who finally looked at him and gave him his full attention.

Magnus wondered how fucking fucked it was that he enjoyed having such attention on him, that for the first time since he'd left Alexander's house, he didn't feel unbalanced. Alexander was looking at him, and finally all was well with the world. Alexander's eyes were no longer distant or cold. They were attentive and sharp. And they were locked in Magnus.

Where they belonged, always.

Ignoring the frankly disturbing thought, Magnus said:

"Can I speak to you? Alone."

"Now?" Jace interrupted. "You can talk after dinner, Magnus."

The most polite thing to do would have been to look at Jace. But he couldn't take his eyes off Alexander.

It felt like an eternity before Alexander answered.

"Sure." He stood up and headed for the door.

Aware of Valentine intense gaze on them, Magnus followed him out of the room.

As soon as they were in the hallway, Magnus crossed his arms over his chest and said, fixing his eyes on the far wall.

"Is it true that you want to ruin the Morgenstern?"

"Valentine told you that?" Alexander said, sounding coldly amused.

Biting his lower lip, Magnus nodded. Damn, he felt so off-balance, unsure of where they were with each other.

"I didn't know you were so close to the Morgenstern"

Magnus shrugged.

"Not that close," he murmured, looking down at his shoes. He could see Alexander's black shoes in his peripheral vision.

"But you still moved in with them." Alexander's voice had a strange tone.

Magnus shrugged again.

"You did not answer my question."

The black shoes approached and stopped in front of him.

A large, warm hand rested on his neck.

Magnus flinched, his breathing quickened.

A thumb brushed the spot under his jaw.

"You left one here," Alexander said. He pressed against that spot, causing a dull ache.

Magnus was shaking so much he felt like he could pull away at any moment. They were done, they were done, they were supposed to be talking about something important, but now he couldn't remember what it was, his mind clouded and slow. He was breathing shakily, inhaling the familiar scent of Alexander's aftershave.

Fuck, he couldn't.

His eyes shot up, golden eyes meeting hazel.

Magnus lunged forward and closed his mouth over Alexander's, groaning as Alexander grabbed the back of his neck and took over the kiss.

God, it seemed like years since they last touched, not a week. They should never be apart, not even for a second, a whole week was too long, why is Alexander so far away, why are there so many clothes between his furs?

"I hate you," Magnus managed to say between the kisses, his voice shaking as he tried to shake off his needy thoughts. "What have you done to me? This is not normal."

"I could ask you the same question," Alexander bit back before pushing Magnus against the wall and sticking his tongue down his throat.

Magnus groaned and tried to scale Alexander's body, wrapping his arms around him as Alexander devoured his mouth with deep, hungry kisses, his big hands grabbing Magnus's ass and bringing his hips closer together. God. Magnus loved him. He wanted it.

Someone coughed and deliberately cleared their throat.


	16. More Tension at Mansion

Magnus would have laughed if he hadn't felt like yelling in frustration. Really? Again?

Alexander broke the kiss and stepped back.

Reluctantly, as if waking from a dream, Magnus forced his eyes open. He had hoped to see Jace or Valentine. He hadn't expected to see the two of them together with Jem and Tessa.

For a moment, there was only silence, stunned and tense.

Magnus shot a sideways glance at Alexander and found him fixing his tie that had somehow come loose. Had he done that? Magnus couldn't remember. Other than that, Alexander's expression was completely inscrutable, as if he hadn't been caught slamming Magnus against the wall.

His face warm, Magnus clenched his trembling fingers into fists. What did it say about him that even being interrupted by four people did nothing to quell the need within him? He wanted to be pressed against Alexander. The few inches between them were driving him crazy, making him feel off-balance and dissatisfied.

Damn hell, shut up. There are bigger problems here than your blue balls. Like the fact that Jace looks disturbed and judging by Jem face this will clearly get to Ragnor soon. 

Magnus cleared his throat, painfully aware of how uncomfortable it sounded, but unable to get a word out. What did one say in a situation like this, really? Sorry guys, was I going to ask about your evil plans and your tongue ended up in my mouth by accident?

Right.

"Look, I ..." Magnus tried again, but Alexander's hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"You don't owe them any explanation, Magnus," Alexander said, his eyes cold as he looked at the Morgenstern." We are all adults here. We probably shouldn't have done this in someone's home, but people here can't throw rocks at anyone when it comes to public scandals."

A muscle twitched in Valentine jaw.

"Okay, enough," he bit, taking a step forward.

"I've had enough of your thinly veiled insults towards me and my family. Why don't you just say it like it is and leave the boy alone?"

Alexander stared at him.

"Excuse me?"

Valentine lips twisted.

"Stop playing with his head. I don't know how you found out that we asked Magnus to keep an eye on you, but cheating on him is a new low, even for you."

Magnus felt time stop.

Or maybe it was his heart.

Slowly, Alexander turned his head to look at him, his gaze searching.

It was heartbreaking, because Magnus could see that Alexander didn't want to believe Valentine words.

Magnus could only look back at him, feeling guilty, desperate, and ridiculously annoyed. He told himself it didn't matter. He told himself that they had no future together anyway. Many things were said.

Nothing changed. He still felt like he had lost something essential when he saw Alexander's expression close, his hazel eyes turning icy. His hand fell from Magnus's shoulder.

Magnus's heart fell with him.

He stood there, feeling everyone's eyes on him. All but Alexander's. He could almost feel Alexander physically distance himself from him and shut him out.

Magnus knew this was a time when he would look back and regret years later. He knew, in his heart, that he and Alexander could have been something great. The connection, intimacy, easy trust, and companionship between them had been something special, more special even than their sexual chemistry, which said something, because Magnus wasn't even sure he'd ever be attracted to someone else, very much. Less loving someone else so much and fitting in so well.

But that was the problem, right? I loved Alexander too much. I needed it too much. Hell, it had only been a week, but he was already a needy mess, practically jumping on Alexander in public. If this continued, Alexander had the potential to break his heart so thoroughly that he would never recover.

So maybe it was for the best. If Alexander hated him for betraying him, he would never touch him again. He would never kiss him or look at him like Magnus was the only thing in the world. They would move on with their lives, and eventually Alexander would completely forget about a boy name Magnus with whom he had had a strange summer affair.

But his stupid heart clenched at the idea, and Magnus couldn't. He couldn't bear the idea.

He knew he had two options.

He could say nothing and allow Alexander to believe that he had betrayed him, that what they had had was not real. He would hold the good opinion of the Morgenstern, Jem would not say anything to Ragnor and Magnus would eventually forget about Alexander. Perhaps.

He could also fight for it, for them, and risk everything. There was absolutely no guarantee that he and Alexander would ever work. There was too much separating them. Last week, Alexander had told him that it was a mistake and that nothing had really changed since then.

Magnus almost laughed at his own thoughts. Who was he trying to fool here? Both options would probably make him miserable in the end, but only one of them had the potential to make him happy, no matter how brief. Yeah, it was a lot more risky too, damn it. If the example of his brothers had taught him anything, it was that you were the creator of your own destiny. Alexander Lightwood would never be the safe option. But Ragnor hadn't made the safe choice when he'd left his fiancée for a guy who refused to even admit he had feelings for Ragnor. 

It was possible that Magnus and Alexander would never become something or their relationship could break down and burn in a few weeks, but Magnus would regret it for the rest of his life if he didn't even try, if he let it end with a misunderstanding.

Magnus grabbed Alexander's arm and forced him to look at him.

Alexander grimaced, something cold and cruel in his eyes. Before Alexander could say anything curt, Magnus stepped forward and kissed him gently.

Someone in the room gasped.

Magnus ignored it. This was very important. I couldn't screw this up.

Alexander was stiffly still, like a taut rope ready to break.

Breathing his scent shallowly, Magnus pressed their cheeks together and said in Alexander's ear:

"I never spied on you or told them anything.I could, but I never did. And you know why. ”He pulled away to look Alexander in the eye. He felt himself blush, knowing that now everyone in the room could hear him, no matter how softly he spoke. " I don't give a shit if you really are as bad as Valentine told me. I do not care. Maybe that makes me a terrible person, but ..."

"Magnus," Valentine cut him off, his voice harsh. "Please go to your room. I need to speak to Lightwood. Alone."

Alexander didn't even look at him, his gaze sharp on Magnus, with intent and searching.

Magnus tried to convey with his eyes what he couldn't say in a crowded room. I'm yours. I'm so over you that I hardly notice anything else when you're around. I don't even care how stupid you are. You have always been so good to me. I adore you, despite all your arrogant and controlling ways.

He didn't know if his face conveyed half of what he was feeling, but it must have conveyed something because the ice in Alexander's eyes melted a bit. He only looked at Magnus for a long moment before finally looking away.

But Alexander's eyes hardened again when he looked at Valentine.

"Yes, Magnus, go to your room. Bring your suitcase."

Lost, Magnus looked between Alexander and Valentine the mutual dislike between them tangible.

"Okay, what's going on here?" Jem interrupted, his expression pinched.

"What's happening here is that Lightwood has taken his games too far," Valentine said, glaring at Alexander. "I don't know what you're playing at, but leave the boy out of it. He didn't do anything to you. I'm the one you have problems with.:

"That's funny," Alexander said, chuckling. However, there was no trace of amusement on his face. " You never cared about hurting innocent people before."

Valentine made a face.

"Look, I've never met your sister ..."

"I'm not interested in your excuses," Alexander cut him off, his voice cold. " They won't fix Isabelle's sanity or make her less of a laughingstock."

"Then what do you want?" Valentine blurted out, his black eyes piercing a hole in Alexander.

A lesser man would have squirmed under that heavy gaze, but it didn't seem to affect Alexander at all.

"I haven't decided yet. I have more important things to do with my time."

Jace made a sound of disbelief.

Alexander's gaze flickered up to him. His lips curved.

"What, you thought I was plotting revenge against you for years as a tacky villain?,Sorry to disappoint you, but you're not that important. I took the opportunity when I saw that your company was struggling. That's it. ”He shrugged." It's not my fault you didn't bother to read the fine print."

"You just like to let us cook," Valentine growled.

Alexander did not deny it.

"That too," he said before looking at Magnus. His jaw clenched. I'll wait for you five minutes. Go get your suitcase." He left the house.

When the door closed behind him, a tense silence fell over the room.

Magnus tried not to squirm under four pairs of critical eyes.

"Magnus, don't go with him," Jace said, frowning. "I'm sorry, but I think he's just using you."

"Look," Jem said, a wrinkle between his eyebrows." I don't know enough about the situation to give advice, but I've heard a few things about Lightwood, and none of it was good. Messy relationships and ugly breakups are the best rumors. I know you are an adult, but Ragnor asked me to take care of you."

"It's hot, in a dumb way, I'll give it to you," Tessa said with a crafty smile that turned shy and mocking when his fiancé turned to him. "What? I have a well-documented weakness for hazel eyes, ”she murmured with a smile, leaning toward Jem. "Don't worry, it has nothing with you."

Jem snorted and kissed her temple.

Magnus looked at Valentine.

His dark eyes were grim as he simply said, "Our house will always be open to you."

Magnus felt a surge of gratitude for him.

"Thank you," he managed before running up the stairs to find his suitcase. He hadn't completely unpacked yet, so it didn't take long for him to fill up the few things he had taken out again.

He was thankful that there was no one in the hall when he returned. Leaving the house, he headed for Alexander's car. The engine was already running. With his stomach knotted, Magnus packed the suitcase into the trunk and got into the back seat.

Alexander was looking out the window, but turned his head when Magnus closed the door. His jaw was still set on a hard line, his eyes filled with cold fire.

"Drive," Alexander said dryly before closing the partition that separated the luxurious rear seat from the driver.

When the car started to move, he turned to Magnus, his expression hard to read.

Magnus swallowed hard, feeling like a rabbit caught in a hunter's trap.

"You know I'm not good at forgiving easily," Alexander said.

Magnus nodded.

"I really don't remember the last time I forgave someone.I'm not exactly an indulgent man."

Magnus nodded again.

Alexander's expression crumpled.

"I've definitely never forgiven anyone because he batted my lashes and looked at me delicately." There was great annoyance and disgust in Alexander's gaze, as well as something like disbelief. Suddenly he moved forward, pressing Magnus against the leather seat, his hard hazel eyes holding him against the seat as effectively as his body.

Magnus took a deep breath. Shit. He was shaking, weakly, for no damn reason. The scent of Alexander, his proximity ... it all made his head spin. He could barely focus his gaze on Alexander's. He wanted to bury his nose under Alexander's jaw and breathe it in.

He wanted to put his hands under Alexander's shirt and feel his warm skin. He wanted to take off all his clothes so nothing would separate them, bare chest to bare chest, Alexander's chest hair against his sensitive nipples… Fuck, even thinking about it made him so hot he almost moaned.

Alexander's knuckles caressed his cheek, his gaze penetrating.

"Tell me what part of that was a lie."

Magnus shook his head in a daze.

"I never lied to you." he buried his unsteady fingers in Alexander's hair and, bringing his face closer, tilted their foreheads together. He inhaled shakily, looking at Alexander's lips." This is real. Can't you feel it?"

Alexander giggled harshly and turned Magnus's head to give him a nasty hickey under his left ear.

Magnus groaned. Mortified, he looked at the closed partition. Could the driver hear them? I couldn't remember if it was soundproof.

"If I can feel it?" Alexander said, sucking on another hickey on Magnus's jaw. "I'm not entirely sure I can trust what I feel when I'm around you."

Eyes closed, Magnus bit his lip to keep from moaning again as Alexander's teeth closed on the sensitive skin at the curve of his neck.

"What do you feel?"

Alexander laughed again, licking the spot he had just bitten off.

"Right now? I want to mark you everywhere.Like getting naked and fucking you right here in the back seat of my car while my driver is less than six feet away."

Magnus's breath caught in his throat. The very idea ... Christ. The very idea of being fucked, of having Alexander's dick inside him while Alexander's driver won't find out was deliciously naughty.

"You little whore," Alexander said, almost fondly, biting my earlobe. "You really want it."

Magnus could only groan, his hand twisting between them to touch Alexander's dick through the fabric of his pants. At the time, he couldn't care less about the driver - he wasn't sure he could stop even if there wasn't a partition separating them from the driver. Alexander's dick was already half-hard and quickly hardened under his hand. Oh God.

"Come on," Magnus said breathlessly." What's the point of having such a stylish car with a great back seat if you don't use it?"

"You can't be serious," Alexander said, his mouth to his ear. "Backseat sex? I am not a teenager."

Ignoring his words, Magnus unzipped Alexander and pulled out his erection. It was hot and hard and perfect in his hand.

Alexander held his breath.

"Stop. We have no lubricant."

"Is there no petroleum jelly in that compartment?I think I've seen something."

"I have no fucking idea.Never mind. We're not screwing in the car, Magnus."

Magnus squeezed Alexander's dick. 

"Why not? "

Alexander hissed. He glared at him and bit:

"I don't have condoms with me."

That should have been the end. All his life, Magnus had rolled his eyes at people who claimed they were "too caught up in the moment" to use protection. But now his only thought was,"I don't care. I need you."

"You're clean, right?i'm clean. You know you're the first. ”Magnus knew he was playing dirty, he knew how much that turned Alexander on, but he was willing to use his possessiveness.

Alexander to get what he wanted. And for the moment, all he wanted was Alexander.

He was not disappointed.

With a guttural noise, Alexander finally kissed him, fingers holding his chin in a punishing grip as Alexander devoured his mouth, pressing him against the seat.

God.

Magnus lost track of time, losing himself in Alexander's hungry and possessive kisses, Alexander's hard dick throbbing in his hand. The sounds of the engine and cars honking seemed incredibly distant and unreal; Alexander was the only thing that mattered. He stroked Alexander's dick as Alexander tongue-poked his mouth, his mind clouded with arousal and need. He wanted to swallow Alexander, take him inside himself and finally make them whole.

It took a lot of work, but they finally managed to remove Magnus's jeans and boxers, find the Vaseline, and lubricate Alexander's dick. It took even more effort to quickly prepare Magnus. It was shallow at best, but Magnus didn't care.

"This is crazy," Alexander growled, leaning back against the seat and watching Magnus align Alexander's dick with his hole. His lips quirked up in a crooked smile." Are you crazy.?"

Magnus smiled at him, laughing, but his laughter turned into a long moan as he slowly sank into Alexander's slick dick. Fuckkkk.

It was a good thing that Alexander wasn't too thick or it would have been undoubtedly painful with such inadequate preparation. As it was, it felt perfect.

When he was finally fully seated on the hard length inside him, Magnus lifted his unfocused gaze to Alexander, and fuck, the sight of him, fully dressed, in his expensive dark suit, with only his dick for Magnus's enjoyment, his face tense with pleasure and his eyes glassy ... It was incredibly exciting.

Leaning forward to give himself more room to move, Magnus pressed his face against the cushion, his body shaking, the world spinning out of control. He began to mount Alexander, trying to swallow his moans. He was only half successful: little muffled sounds still came out of his mouth as he rotated his hips on Alexander's dick, trying to hit that point inside him. Alexander's fingers dug into his buttocks, helping him mount him, Alexander's breathing harsh and unsteady in his ear.

Magnus turned his face to look at Alexander and found himself frozen, caught in Alexander's hungry gaze. Magnus hoped his own gaze wasn't as passionate as it felt. He felt beautiful, wanted, and special. Alexander always made him feel that way. Alexander made him feel sexy, powerful, and powerless all at the same time. It was such an addictive feeling.

With his eyes fixed on Alexander's, Magnus began to mount him faster.

He had never felt so out of control, so excited.

Fuck, he loved this, he loved fucking himself on Alexander's dick, he loved feeling so connected to Alexander, seeing Alexander's eyes go glassy with lust, feeling how much with pleasure Alexander was taking him, Alexander's dick hard and hot inside him.

Soon, Magnus could no longer stifle his moans, the little Ah, Ah, Ah leaving his mouth at every downward movement.

He knew it was too loud, he knew the driver could probably hear his moans and obscene sounds as his hips moved, seeking release. He did not care. Oh my, oh my, oh my.

Alexander's fingers pressed hard against his perineum, and Magnus saw stars, coming with a loud moan. He sank against Alexander like a rag doll, letting Alexander  
push him for a time until he felt Alexander sink inside him and go still.

It took Magnus a while to regain his ability to think. When he did, he realized that the car was no longer moving, which meant they had arrived, and the driver had definitely heard what they had been doing in the back seat. As if it were a signal, the driver's door opened and closed, and then there was the sound of footsteps quickly retreating.

A laugh, a little hysterical but full of amusement, left Magnus's lips.

"Oh my God, I'll never be able to look your driver in the eye again.Why didn't you tell me it was a bad idea?"

Alexander snorted, his hands still resting in a rather patented way on his butt.

"I did it. You almost intimidated me into doing it."

Smiling, Magnus kissed his cheek.

"True. And you are totally innocent. Your dick ended up in my ass totally by accident."

Alexander pinched his butt.

"Not by accident, but I'm not the one who was too hot to wait until I got home."

Home. 

Something in Magnus's stomach clenched at the word, his smile turning wistful.

Pulling back to look Alexander in the eye, Magnus honestly said:

"I missed you, I guess."

The amusement faded from Alexander's eyes, his expression turning almost tender.

"Yes," he said in a tight voice." Max missed you too."

Magnus glared at him.

Alexander grinned widely and then laughed, a laugh Magnus had rarely heard from him.

Magnus stared at him, chest full and warm. Very warm.

Well shit.


	17. Conflicts Feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Im sorry for late post.... Being busy tis month.   
> I wish u like my storyline. After tis story finish mybe i will write some more story from movie or drama reference.

"No, Alexander, no way!"

Magnus was laughing, trying to pull the covers up to cover his naked body, with limited success, since Alexander was sitting on them.

"Stay still," Alexander scolded, his pencil flying over his sketchbook.

Magnus groaned, grimacing.

"Come on, we had just had sex, and i had bodily fluids, love bites, and finger-shaped bruises all over my body. I look like a whore, ”he complained.

Alexander ignored him, as he usually did when he was in a creative mood, his gaze completely focused on his drawing.

Magnus couldn't help but smile fondly at him. At times like this, Alexander reminded him of his son. Max was also crazy focused when he was building something with his LEGO set.

His smile softened at the thought of Max. In the week he was gone, the boy had made very good progress. The child psychologist Alexander had chosen to be Max's babysitter really was a good fit. Somehow she had managed to make Max friendlier to her father. Magnus got a little jealous, to be honest, that she had succeeded where he had failed. He would have liked to be the one to bridge the gap between father and son, but most of all he was relieved and happy, happy to see Alexander so content and satisfied with the world.

You have it so bad it's not even funny. Are you happy because he is happy? Right now?

Magnus tried to push the uncomfortable thought away.

"Don't frown," Alexander said, his gaze flickering between Magnus and his sketchbook.

Smiling, Magnus rolled his eyes.

"Yes sir. As you wish."

Alexander's hand stopped.

He raised his eyes to Magnus and stared at him.

Magnus gulped.

Alexander put down his sketchbook and rolled onto it.

Magnus wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled Alexander down until their mouths met and everything else was gone. God, this man. I would never get enough of him.

***

Magnus had always been a morning person. He had never understood people who could rest in bed all morning. But in recent weeks, he'd developed a new appreciation for lazy, late mornings. He had realized that if he had someone he wanted to spend all his time in bed with, everything changed. Saturday and Sunday mornings, when Alexander didn't have to go to work, were his absolute favorites. Unfortunately, this morning was not one of them.

Magnus grunted in protest as Alexander tried to pry himself out of the tangle of limbs they had been in.

A chuckle

"I have an important meeting this morning that I can't be late."

With a sleepy pout, Magnus tightened his arms around Alexander and repeated:

"No dont go."

There was silence for a while, nice and warm. Magnus never thought silence could feel warm, but it did, and he reveled in it. Contrary to his words, Alexander didn't seem to be in much of a hurry to get out of bed, his hand tangling Magnus's hair.

But after a while, Alexander finally broke the comfortable silence.

"You could come with me to the office."

Magnus opened his eyes.

"In what capacity?I am no longer your assistant or even your intern."

"I could find a reason," Alexander said stiffly." If Morgenstern could put you in my office, so could I."

Magnus made a face. Although it had been weeks since the disastrous dinner at the Morgenstern house, the memory still bothered him. The whole thing made him uncomfortable. Although he had managed to convince Jem not to say anything to Ragnor, he hated how strained his relationships with him and the Morgnestern had become. 

They probably saw him as a traitor at worst or a delusional idiot at best. He didn't know how to convince them that Alexander was not some kind of incarnation of evil. Texting about something like that was just too weird, and he couldn't see them in person either, because he knew Alexander was still sensitive to the whole thing. Not hurting Alexander's feelings was more important to him than not hurting Valentine and Jace. He might have considered them friends, but Alexander was ...

Hell, Magnus was perfectly aware of how gone he was. When Alexander was in the room, everything else seemed to disappear. Sometimes Magnus felt like he was drowning in Alexander, or would drown without him. It should have scared him. It did not. There were no alarm bells ringing in his head, as if it was totally natural to feel like he couldn't breathe without someone else. God, these feelings of need were so messy, but it was also an incredible feeling, like a natural high.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Magnus murmured, stroking Alexander's throat." Everyone would gossip about us. Let's be honest: we are terrible at being subtle."

That put it mildly. He still couldn't look Alexander's driver in the eye. In the last few weeks since he moved into the house, the entire staff, starting with the gardener and ending with the house chef, seemed to have heard about them, and the driver did not even tell them. Obviously it was his own fault. If they refrained from touching each other outside the room, no one would have found them.

"I know it's not a good idea," Alexander said dryly. "But..."

He stopped, but Magnus could feel his frustration as his own.

But I want to take you with me anyway. Was that what Alexander was not saying? Or was Magnus kidding himself? Was he projecting his own increasingly needy feelings and thoughts onto Alexander, completely misreading him? Most likely. It didn't help that lately Magnus had been well aware of the fact that summer was coming to an end and that he was supposed to be leaving soon. Now he had a new passport, and his family had been asking when he would return. His siblings didn't understand why he was still in Boston instead of traveling the United States, as he had wanted to do.

Magnus buried his face in the crook of Alexander's neck, his stomach knotting. Even thinking about leaving brought a feeling of panic tight in his chest.

But he would have to, and soon. His life was in London. The deadline would start next month. He had to go back to his family and friends. It had been the longest time he had been away from them. He missed his family so much. He wanted to go home.

But…

But…

Alexander's ringtone interrupted his conflicting thoughts. Reluctantly, Magnus allowed Alexander to get out of bed to answer his phone.

I couldn't hear a word of what Alexander said to the caller. Instead, he looked at Alexander, at the touch of gray at his temples, his handsome profile, his firm mouth, and his strong, powerful body. He stared at him and already missed him, even though he was there.

For how long? A voice whispered in the back of his mind. It was borrowed time, something that would end soon.

A part of him, a small and stupid part, expected Alexander to ask him to stay. Magnus wasn't sure what he'd say if Alexander actually did that, but knowing it wasn't happening, he allowed himself to enjoy that fantasy for a moment. In that fantasy, he and Alexander married and raised Max together. In that fantasy, his entire family magically lived in America as well.

In that fantasy, Alexander was in love with him.

Magnus almost flinched at the idea. He had been trying not to think of that word, but with each passing day, it was hard not to. What was a feeling called that was a mixture of need, overwhelming affection, heartbreaking desire, and a sense of righteousness, security, and belonging? It can only be one thing; 

Magnus knew it.

He was still trying not to think of that word. Alexander had never indicated that this meant more to him than a friends with benefits thing. Hell, he had never used affection on him. Alexander had never discussed the possibility of Magnus staying, as if it had never occurred to him. He had never appeared, not once.

He really must be an idiot, reading too much into Alexander's intense, fiery stares. He was probably just seeing things he wanted to see. The idea made her stomach clench. Love was a terrifying but wonderful feeling. Unrequited love was just terrifying.

"Something wrong ?"Alexander said.

Blinking, Magnus returned his gaze.

Alexander frowned. It seemed like he had ended his call and Magnus hadn't even noticed, lost in thought.

Magnus shrugged, not knowing what to say. What could he say? I'm really madly in love with you and I want you to feel the same way about me.

He sat up and dragged the covers, feeling suddenly cold. He looked down at the toes peeking through the sheets.

He was more sorry than hearing Alexander approach him.

"Magnus," he said, his voice softer.

Magnus flinched. Alexander had a way of saying his name that sounded better than any sweetheart.

He looked up slowly and met Alexander's eyes.

"hmm?"

Alexander's expression was strained.

"Do not do this."

"Do what?"Magnus said, blinking in genuine confusion. "I was not doing anything."

Alexander glared at him.

"I have an important meeting in less than an hour.Not only will I be late, but I won't be able to focus on it either if I keep thinking about why you're upset."

Magnus blinked again before a slow smile stretched his lips. Stepping forward, he pressed his face against Alexander's bare chest and hugged him tightly. I need you, he thought as Alexander hugged him back, tentatively at first, then harder.

I love you, Magnus thought, closing his eyes and speaking the words against Alexander's warm skin. He did not dare to say them out loud. He wasn't entirely sure how well they would be received.

It was clear that Alexander at least cared about him. He cared a lot. It was probably the way one cared for a friend, but at the time, it didn't matter. I was going to appreciate this moment, no matter how fleeting it was.

Maybe people were right when they said that even one-sided love was better than being with someone who loved you but you didn't. Magnus felt like he was choking on that love, emotion squeezing his chest with longing. It hurt, but it was also the best feeling in the world, Alexander's proximity made him dizzy with pleasure. Nothing felt better than being held back by the man you loved.

"I'm not upset," Magnus said honestly. He could never be upset with Alexander's arms around him.

"I just realized something," Magnus said, breathing in Alexander's scent. His eyes stung a little when he pulled away, but he was smiling."I think I'm going to miss you when I go home."

Alexander's face went very still.

He only looked at Magnus for a long moment before something changed in his eyes.

He nodded his head.

"I'll probably miss you too." He turned and disappeared into the bathroom. There was the sound of the shower turning on.

Magnus closed his eyes, his throat tight.

Part of him had been stupidly expecting a different reaction. Different words.

He almost laughed at himself. Why would Alexander offer a Asian boy he had known for only a few months to stay with him in America? It was just a summer adventure, nothing more. They were from different worlds. Clearly, he was the only one who felt miserable thinking that they would be separated by an ocean.

God enough.

Enough.

This was not him. This sad and miserable person was not him.

Hell, it was becoming more and more obvious that he needed to leave before these toxic emotions could destroy all the good that was between them. They could part as friends. And it seemed that the sooner he left, the better it would be for his own state of mind. Tearing off the proverbial band-aid would be better than prolonging this slow torture.

One day.

No I can not. Not so soon.

Magnus gritted his teeth, hating his weakness.

It's okay. One week.

He would give himself a week and then he would go away.


	18. Alexander POV 2.0

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Birthday Matthew daddario and congrats for your newborn baby girl..

Magnus was behaving strangely.

In the past few days, he'd gone from quiet and sad to anxious and affectionate in a span of minutes, alternating between being distant and extremely clingy.

Alexander watched him in slight confusion, trying to figure out why Magnus was behaving like this. Alright, I might be obsessed with that a bit. Or a lot. He used to do that when it came to Magnus.

Christ. In thirty-one years of his life, Alexander had never felt like this. So in love. So in love with someone. He had been accused of being "too much" and "too intense" countless times, but those moments were nothing compared to how he was with Magnus. I couldn't kiss him hard enough. I couldn't touch it enough. 

He left countless marks all over his smooth skin with his teeth and fingers, but somehow it wasn't enough. Hell, he couldn't get enough of looking at him. Just looking at him, like he was a teenager who couldn't stop ogling the object of his crush.

But hell, everything Magnus did was fascinating: the way he smiled sleepily at him, the way he looked snuggled against his shoulder, the way those golden eyes lit up the moment Alexander entered the room. It was fucking intoxicating.

Part of him was angry at his lack of control. But there was little he could do about it. He wanted Magnus all the time: on his back, on his hands and knees, on his lap, on his knees in front of him, his pretty lips wrapped around Alexander's dick. Magnus somehow looked just as good under him when they had vanilla, slow, face-to-face sex and when he was tied up, blindfolded and covered in bruises.

If they did the latter, Alexander's favorite part wasn't even the sex. It was what came next: when Magnus was a needy mess in need of comfort and care. Your care.

Taking care of Magnus did things to him that Alexander couldn't even put into words. There were no words for that feeling: he felt ten feet tall and unbelievably in awe of Magnus's confidence.

It wasn't like he had never provided aftercare after scenes with his women. Of course it did.

But with Magnus, it felt so much more intimate. He had never felt like kissing the tips of his partner's fingers and giving hin the world if he asked. Fortunately, Magnus had never used that weakness against him.

Until the day he did.

The afternoon started off normal enough. After dinner, they played with Max until their bedtime and then went to the movie theater to watch something together. 

Except Magnus didn't seem interested in seeing the movie. He spent most of half the movie on Alexander's lap, almost clinging to him. At some point, he started kissing Alexander's neck, and that predictably ended with them having sex on the couch.

Then Alexander looked up at the ceiling and wondered with some amusement when he had become an exhibitionist that having sex outside the bedroom was the norm for him now. In recent weeks at least, the staff had learned to stay out of their way.

"Can you promise me something?" Magnus murmured against his chest, his voice still a little breathless.

Alexander hummed, stroking his bare back. The shape was fascinating, the way Magnus's spine gently curved toward the soft globes of his rear. There was a small mole on the lower part of Magnus's back, just above the two dimples on his buttocks. Alexander had kissed the mole countless times before dragging his mouth down and licking between Magnus's cheeks until the boy was sobbing and begging him to fuck him.

"Abandon your plans for revenge against the Morgenstern."

Alexander's hand went still on Magnus's back.

"That's not something I can promise."

Magnus sighed.

"I was afraid you'd say that." The disappointment in his tone was palpable, and Alexander clenched his jaw.

He wasn't going to retreat, damn it.

He wasn't going to do it.

"Valentine has never met your sister," Magnus said. "He really didn't think someone would get hurt."

"It's okay. He didn't think. Look, I don't want to talk about it."

"Why not? "Magnus said softly, his lips brushing Alexander's skin as he spoke.

Alexander said flatly:

"Because Valentine Morgenstern is a selfish jerk who damaged Isabelle's sanity and almost killed her."

Magnus was silent for a moment.

"But he wasn't the one who did it," he said. "His actions did so without realizing it."

"Is there a difference?"

"I think so," Magnus said, his voice slow and thoughtful. "He couldn't have known that he would take it that badly. Most of the people were allegedly humiliated after being publicly expelled."

Alexander looked at the ceiling. It was true enough, he supposed. Isabelle had been a very sensitive child, and it only got worse when she entered her teens. It didn't help that her father was a prominent politician - public scrutiny of her family had always been immense. Being publicly abandoned was just the last push.

"She has always been very sensitive," he admitted.

"Look, Valentine couldn't have known if he'd never met her," Magnus said.

"It doesn't change anything," Alexander said dryly. "He publicly humiliated her. She has chronic depression because of him. ”He took a deep breath, trying to control his temper. Rationally, he knew he shouldn't be getting mad at Magnus (he considered the Morgenstren his friends), but there was a part of him that didn't like that Magnus wasn't on his side. He must always side with me, his brain insisted, brutally possessive. He is mine.

Alexander grimaced and squashed those thoughts. He had been doing it more and more often lately, except he couldn't completely erase them, no matter how hard he tried.

Magnus sighed.

"Look, I hate to sound like a good thing, but two mistakes don't make a hit. Ruining the lives of the Morgenstern won't fix what happened to your sister."

"No, but it will make me feel better."

Magnus laughed, which then turned into a laugh.

Alexander stared at him.

"Would you mind sharing the joke with me?"

Raising his head, Magnus gave him a sad smile.

"It's really a disaster that my first thought was 'if it will make you feel better then I guess it's totally okay to do it'. In fact, I thought that for a moment. I think you've broken my brain."

Alexander didn't know what to say to that.

He just looked at Magnus, and Magnus looked back at him, his smile softening.

There was something tangible in the air, an emotion that Alexander could practically taste.

Before he could say anything, Magnus cleared his throat and looked away.

"I bought a ticket home," he said, sitting up and reaching for his discarded boxers to put on.

Alexander was so distracted by the sight that it took his brain a few seconds to catch up. When he did, his eyes fell on the back of Magnus's neck.

"Did what?" He said, even though he had heard it perfectly the first time. His voice sounded distant, as if it didn't belong to him. He didn't know why he felt like he had just been punched in the stomach. He knew this would happen since Magnus had said to him: I think I'll miss you when I get home.

He knew Magnus would leave.

He was still not fully prepared for reality, his heart was pounding and his hands were shaking with adrenaline.

Alexander sat up and zipped up his zipper, his gaze on Magnus's back as the young man continued to dress.

"I bought a ticket to London," Magnus said evenly. "My flight is the day after tomorrow."

Alexander stared at him.

Then he stood up and put on his shirt.

"And when were you going to tell me that?"

Magnus turned and stared at him.

"I'm telling you now."

Alexander had to bite his tongue to avoid saying the wrong thing. There were a number of things he wanted to say. Things that would definitely make you sound messy, controlling, or deranged. Or all of the above.

With an inward grin, Alexander said scathingly:

"I'm going for a walk."

He left the room before he could say anything he would regret. Control. He was in control. He wasn't a fucking Monster. 

Once he left the house, Alexander took a deep breath of fresh air. He did nothing to clear his head.

It was dark outside, but the gardens were well lit. He prowled the grounds like a caged beast, trying to quell the urge to go back into the house, tie Magnus to his bed, and never let him go.

Dammit.

He clearly needed to get away from the house or he would end up being exactly what his ex-wife had accused him of: suffocating, controlling shit. He didn't want Magnus to look at him like he was some kind of sick, disturbed madman. He didn't give a shit what other people thought of him, but the mere thought of Magnus looking at him in disgust and fear ... made his stomach turn. Magnus never seemed to mind his domineering attitude, but there was an authoritative attitude and then there was who Alexander really was.

"Mr. Lightwood? Do you want to go somewhere? I'll call victor. "

Blinking, Alexander looked around and realized that his feet had led him to the garage. A security guard was looking at him confused and with something akin to wariness.

"There's no need," Alexander told him, heading for the locker with keys. "I'll drive myself. ”Maybe a trip would clear his head.

Retrieving the key to the nearest car, the Ferrari, he got into the car and out of the garage. The tires screeched and he cursed when he almost hit the lamppost. Hell, maybe it hadn't been his best idea. He had never been a great driver, and he was out of practice after years of having other people take him where he wanted. His agitated state didn't help either.

Alexander forced himself to breathe deeply, in and out, and fully concentrate on the road until he could think somewhat rationally.

The truth was ... The truth was, obviously Magnus could go if he wanted. He had no reason to stay. Why would you stay here when your whole life was in the London?

Alexander knew that Magnus had ... some kind of feelings for him, but it didn't matter much when you were twenty. Magnus had his whole life ahead of him. Guys Magnus' age fell in love with someone new every few months. They did not abandon their lives for a summer adventure.

When Alexander tasted sour in his mouth, he realized that he had just bitten his lip long enough to draw blood.

Damn hell. He needed to calm down ...

The screeching of the brakes was his only warning before pain exploded through his body, his head banging against the window.

Everything went dark.


	19. Fear

Magnus tossed and rolled in his bed for years, unable to fall asleep. Alexander's strange reaction, or lack of reaction, annoyed him more than it should. Of all the possible reactions, he hadn't expected Alexander to go for a walk.

God, it was so pathetic. Had he really expected Alexander to forbid him to leave? Seriously?

Magnus sighed .hugging Alexander favourite pillow. It really was pathetic. He couldn't even fall asleep without Alexander's body wrapped around him.

A sound made his eyes pop open.

He turned his head toward the door. He was pretty sure he could hear distant but frantic voices. Who could it be? It was the middle of the night. Alexander hadn't returned yet, as far as he knew.

Frowning, he got out of bed and opened the door.

He had to blink a few times as his eyes adjusted to the well-lit corridor. He had been right: two figures were talking to each other in low voices. It took him a moment to recognize Iris the housekeeper and Victor Alexander's driver. They both had scowls on their faces. Was Iris crying?

Magnus's stomach hardened into a tight knot of anxiety and fear. Alexander had not yet returned. Had ... something happened?

"What's going on? "He said. Iris and Victor heads turned to him.

For a moment, they just stared at him, something deeply uncomfortable in their expressions.

Magnus's stomach ached. Something was wrong.

"Iris?" He said hoarsely, looking into her suspiciously bright eyes.

The housekeeper's lips tightened for a moment.

"It's Mr. Lightwood. He ... there was an accident."

Magnus felt as if the ground was being ripped from under his feet. He had to lean against the door, dizzy.

"An accident?"He ask with fear." Is he ...? "It had to be okay, it had to be, please, please.

Iris tense expression crumbled.

"We don't know, dear. We only know he was in critical condition an hour ago, but we don't know, we don't know anything else. We will be the last to know if something happens."

Magnus nodded stunned. Of course. They were just employees. Service. No one would tell them anything.

"How did you find out?" He managed to say.

Victor was the one who answered.

“The hospital contacted Mr. Lightwood's family, and they informed his personal assistant. He was the one who contacted me. He told me to come here and wait in case you need something for Mr. Lightwood. He promised to let us know if ... if something happens, but there's been nothing so far."

Magnus tried to console himself. He told himself that no news was good news. But it seemed like the world was spinning around him and he couldn't breathe, fear was squeezing his chest and tightening his throat.

"What hospital is he in?" He said, looking at Victor. His embarrassment about sex in the car seemed so silly now. So irrelevant. He needed to go to Alexander, he needed ...

"You won't be allowed to see him, Magnus," Iris said, "not without kindness. None of us. Just family."

Magnus sank against the door, clutching the remains of his composure around him like a tattered cloak. He wouldn't break down in tears in front of them. I would not do it.

"Go to bed, dear," Iris said, looking at him with such pity that it was obvious he wasn't fooling anyone. " I'll let you know if ... if something changes."

Nodding dazedly, Magnus stumbled back into the room and closed the door.

He had never felt so helpless in his life.

And so terrified.


	20. Loving & Losing is hurt like hell

The following week passed in a patch of heartbreaking anxiety, panic, and helpless fear. Magnus felt like he had been beaten, his head hurt and his eyes ached from lack of sleep. He ate something when Iris almost forced him and tried to ignore the sympathetic looks from the staff. He tried to smile when he was with Max, but the boy still seemed to somehow sense that something was wrong and alternated between being too quiet and throwing tantrums.

"I want Dad!" He yelled at some point, his hazel eyes glaring at Magnus.

Later, Magnus would be ashamed of himself for having collapsed in front of a small child, but that was exactly what happened. He burst into tears, and his knees buckling as he curled up into a tight ball and cried.

I wanted Alexander to come back. He wanted to see him, wanted to feel his arms around him, wanted to tell him how much he loved him, tell him every silly thought he'd ever had.

But with each passing day, the hope grew smaller and smaller. What Alexander's personal assistant had told them didn't sound promising. Alexander had been operated on three times so far, and although doctors had managed to stop the internal bleeding and repair the broken bones, brain surgery had not yielded the results everyone expected.

Apparently, Alexander couldn't even breathe properly without help. Although he was not brain dead, he was still in a coma, and his chances of waking up worsened with each passing day.

A small hand touched Magnus's arm.

"Mama?"Max said in a low voice. He sounded confused. Scared.

Magnus wiped his face with his hands and raised his head to look at the boy. God, looking at Max hurt. He looked a lot like his father. Magnus could see Alexander in all his features.

"I'm sorry, love," Magnus growled, trying to smile for the boy's sake.

Before he could say anything else, the door opened.

Magnus found himself staring at an unfamiliar woman. She was beautiful and elegantly dressed. Magnus took a moment to recognize her. It was Alexander's sister, Isabelle. She looked different from the photos he had seen of her. Sad. Exhausted.

"Who you are? " She said.

Magnus opened his mouth and closed it, not knowing what to say.

She frowned, looking at him with something like suspicion. Of course he would be suspicious: he had just found a stranger in his nephew's room, a stranger who probably looked like a mess.

"I'm Magnus," Magnus finally managed, getting to his feet. He only kept Max company while his babysitter was away.

Isabelle shifted her gaze to Max. Some pain flickered across her face.

"Thanks for taking care of Max. But it will no longer be necessary. Max will live with me and my mother from now on."

Magnus's heart skipped a beat.

"Why?'He said-. "What do you mean?"

"My brother is in a coma, Magnus," she said, her voice so low it wasn't natural. "We can hardly leave my only nephew alone in this huge house. He needs family. It's… ”she voice finally faltered.

"It is a temporary solution, obviously. Until  
my brother wakes up.”Despite her words, her shaking chin betrayed her. He really didn't believe what she was saying.

Magnus had to turn around to hide his own emotions. He looked out the window at the clear sky outside. It was such a sunny day.

"Is it that bad?"

Isabelle was silent.

"It is," she said at last, her tone sound exhausted. Defeated. "Doctors say that at this point it will be a miracle if Alec wakes up. We'll keep him on life support as long as there's brain activity, but ..."

Magnus had to bite his lower lip hard to keep the noise from coming out of his throat.

"Can i see him? Please..."

He didn't need to turn around to know that she was surprised by his request.

"Why?" She said, sounding completely confused.

"He's in intensive care. Why should I allow a stranger to see my brother ...?"

"I love him."

He had never thought that he would say those words to Alexander's sister and not to him.

"What?"She said weakly.

"We were, we are, together."

Silence.

"You're lying," Isabelle bit at last. "My brother is not, is not a fag!"

Magnus flinched at the word. It was probably to be expected that after being publicly dumped by a gay man, Isabelle did not have an open mind about gay people in general. While it was irrational, pain was rarely rational.

"I'm not lying," he said, turning to look at her." You can ask anyone."

She glared at him.

"Get out of this house. I don't know who you are, but I won't let you tarnish my brother's character when he can't defend himself ... "" Being gay isn't ...

"Go away," she spat.

Max started crying.

Magnus looked between the boy and his aunt, torn. He wanted to take Max in his arms and comfort him, but he could see that Isabelle wasn't kidding.

"You're scaring him," he said, taking a step toward Max. "Let me calm him down at least."

"If you don't leave this house in the next five minutes, I'll call security. Or the police."

Leaving a quick kiss on Max's head, Magnus hugged him tightly.

"Goodbye Love. I wish..."

"Let my nephew go and get out Now! "

Magnus left, his chest clenching as the door closed behind him, muffling Max's cry. Right now, all he wanted was to grab Max and take him with him. But he had no right. Like he had no right to see Alexander. He was nobody to them, no matter what his heart said.

It felt like he was in some kind of dream when he packed his things into suitcase and left the house. He thought he had said goodbye to Iris, but he wasn't sure. 

He could barely remember the Uber trip to the airport or how long he waited for the next flight to London. It could have been minutes, but it could also have been hours; he didn't know. Magnus was vaguely aware that he was in shock. Everything felt disjointed, surreal. The world made no sense. The world without Alexander was meaningless. But that was the world he would be living in now.

Magnus fell into an exhausted sleep as soon as the plane took off.

When he opened his eyes hours later, he found himself incredibly disoriented. He stared at the back of the seat in front of him, trying to process how he had ended up on the plane. His mind went blank. It felt strange inside. Numb. Maybe it was for the best. One breakdown per day was more than enough.

He might have fallen asleep again because the next thing he knew the plane was landing and he was one of the last people to get off.

Magnus took his luggage and went through passport control in a kind of daze. Everything still felt surreal, like a dream. He had a head ache. Jet lag didn't help either. His stomach ached from being empty, but he wasn't hungry. The very thought of food made him nauseous.

Magnus got into a cab, give Ragnor his brother address to the driver, and looked out the window at the familiar London landscape. He tried to muster up some excitement and happiness to finally be home. There were none. Just the feeling of mistake. At least he didn't feel like crying anymore. The numbness was good. The numbness was welcome.

When he got out of the taxi, Magnus stared at the family home for a moment. He used to think it was his home, but it seemed like the guy who had left this house a few months ago was a completely different person than he is now.

Slowly, feeling like an old man, Magnus walked towards the house, dragging his suitcase behind him.

He knocked on the door.

When no one opened, he belatedly realized that he hadn't told anyone about his return. It was possible that no one was home. It was quite late in the morning. Ragnor and Zachariach had probably been out for a morning run.

Magnus looked at his suitcase, trying to remember if he had put the keys in it, but unpacking it seemed like a lot of effort at the moment. He didn't want to. I didn't want to do anything.

"Magnus?"

Blinking, Magnus turned his head. He forced a weak smile when he saw his brother-in-law. He had been right, after all:

Zachariach was in his running clothes and looked sweaty and out of breath. In the distance, Magnus could see Ragnor trotting at a calmer pace.

"Hello, Zac" Magnus said, trying to shake off his numbness and act as usual. "Surprise?"

Zachariach laughed and grabbed his shoulder.

"I'm glad you're back. Ragnor was about to go to America and drag you back home, ”he said with a smile, gesturing at him approaching husband.

"Aw, did you miss me?" Magnus said, smiling at his older brother. His cheeks ached.

Ragnor snorted.

"Like a headache," he said. "Good to have you back, boy, ”he snapped, hugging him.

Magnus closed his eyes and breathed in the familiar scent of his brother that had always reminded him of home and safety. He still did, and he didn't.

A sound came from his throat, a horrible, strangled sound.

Ragnor stiffened.

"Magnus," he said, his voice losing all trace of humor.

Magnus tried to breathe through it. He wasn't going to cry, he wasn't a baby, he wasn't going to cry. Except his eyes burned, and all he could do was hide his face against his brother's broad chest as his body shook in silent sobs.

Part of him, the adult part, was mortified. He was no longer the kid who ran to his older brother every time he scratched his knee. He was an adult. He should know better than this. But the childish part of him was irrational enough to feel that Ragnor would fix it, fix everything; he always did after all.

"Tell me what's wrong," Ragnor said harshly.

The tone hit Magnus like a punch to the stomach. For a moment, Ragnor sounded almost like ... Almost, but not quite right.

Nothing was fucking right.

"Never mind," Magnus growled, pulling away and wiping his face with his sleeve. He couldn't meet his brother's eyes or Zachariach. " I guess I missed you all. ”He smiled brightly." Where are the others?"

"Magnus-" Ragnor began, frowning, but Zachariach bless him, cut him off.

"Raphael and Meliorn should come for dinner," he said, leading Magnus into the house." Why don't you go to bed in your room until they arrives? You must be jet lagged as hell."

Magnus nodded gratefully, feeling a surge of affection for him. Despite all of Zachariach disgust, he was actually quite sweet under all the scandal. Zachariach was very good at reading people. He could probably sense how close to a breaking point Magnus was right now.

Magnus closed the door to his room and sank against it.

He looked around the room, as if seeing him for the first time. Everything seemed so surreal. He didn't feel like the laid back, positive guy who had left this room several months ago. He no longer believed he fit in this room.

Slowly, he walked to the bed, slipped between the sheets, and closed his eyes.

The sheets smelled clean and sterile


	21. 1month and Ragnor/Zachariach pov

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello.. :)  
> Sorry for the extremely long wait but ya' know, real life and all.
> 
> Sorry short chapter..tmrow will update new chapter..pls dont forget to leave some comments or kudo..
> 
> Tq all..♥♥♥

"I'm going to kill Jem."

Zachariach looked up from his phone and saw his husband walk across his room like a caged lion.

Zachariach said softly, "It's not Jem's fault that Magnus managed to fall in love with a rich jerk and break his heart in the space of a few months."

Ragnor glared at him and ran his hand through his hair.

"You should have told me immediately when you found out."

Zachariach raised his eyebrows.

"So what, you would have dragged your brother home?, I know you think he's a baby, but he's an adult, Ragnor"

Ragnor scowled at him and said nothing.

"Besides," Zachariach said. "Jem couldn't have known the guy would be killed."

"He's not dead yet," Ragnor said in a tone that suggested he wasn't entirely happy about it. " Although it might as well be."

Zachariach didn't say anything.But he knowing how Ragnor feeling was, he had probably figured out everything about Alexander Lightwood's condition.

Zachariach sighed.

"And here I was wondering what kind of father you would be," he said. "You will be the definition of an overprotective parent."

Ragnor's gaze went to him.

"What?"

Zachariach shrugged.

"Stop looking at me like that," he said in his most casual voice. " You think I don't know what you want?"

Ragnor stared at him for a moment before walking over and kneeling in front of him. He took Zachariach hands in his own.

"It's not just about what I want, brat."

Zachariach rolled his eyes. Seriously, it was like Ragnor sometimes forgot he was a grown man.

"Like I'm going to do something just because you want it to. You know me better than that."

Ragnor looked at him questioningly.

"Do you really want it?"

Zachariach looked around the room before returning his gaze to Ragnor eyes. He shrugged again.

"I wouldn't mind having a little girl, I guess.But she has to be very pretty. We cannot have an ugly daughter or she will grow up with a lot of self-esteem issues."

Ragnor shot him an exasperated look, but he was smiling, for the first time since Magnus had returned home.

Zachariach smiled back at him helplessly.

Ragnor leaned forward and gave him a short, soft kiss, except they somehow ended up kissing on the ground, with Zachariach straddling Ragnor's lap.

When their kiss turned into soft kisses, Zachariach put his head on Ragnor's shoulder and closed his eyes, enjoying the moment of happiness. They had become strange since Magnus had returned home broken and fragile, the light in his eyes gone.

"He'll get better," he said quietly.

Ragnor's arms tightened around him. The sigh.

"It's been a month.Have you seen him smile once?

"He smiles all the time."

"You know what I mean."

Zachariach made a small face. As someone who used to wear fake smiles every day, he could recognize other people's masks from a mile away, and Magnus's wasn't even a good one.

"He will get better.No one has died of a broken heart yet."

"That's not really true," Ragnor said. " It's called stress-induced cardiomyopathy. It can happen even to healthy people ..."

"Oh, for God's sake," Zachariach said, raising his head and looking at him with what he hoped was exasperation, but it was probably affection. " You can't live without telling me how wrong I am, right?"

Ragnor smiled and kissed him again.

Burying his fingers in her husband's hair, Zachariach kissed him back, forgetting all thoughts of Magnus.


	22. Resolve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As a promise new chapter.....

Magnus's eyes snapped open, his heart pounding, a cry frozen in his throat. The screeching of the tires, the crash, it all seemed so real it took him a long time to calm down.

When he finally did, he got out of bed and headed for the nearest bathroom. It was only six in the morning, but he knew from experience that there was no way he would go back to sleep. Also, four hours of sleep was still more than he got most nights. At least he didn't have classes that day.

Finished with the shower, Magnus brushed his teeth, avoiding his reflection in the mirror. He knew it looked like a mess. Dark circles seemed to have become a permanent feature on his golden skin face, and his eyes were probably bloodshot and puffy. Ragnor was going to frown and look at him sadly, and Magnus would have to pretend he didn't notice anything and smile, smile, and smile.

Just thinking about it exhausted him. Considering it was Ragnor's birthday and whole family and friend's would arrive later that day, the prospect filled Magnus with fear and mental exhaustion. There will be questions, pitying glances, and worried glances exchanged behind his back.

They all knew it.

He had never told them anything, but somehow, they knew. Ragnor had probably discovered everything from Jem. It would have been mortifying if Magnus had the ability to feel much more than numbness.

He sighed, thinking of his brothers' numerous attempts to convince him to have a heart to heart. Ragnor was the most aggressive, of course, but the others weren't much better. Raphael was almost as bad as Ragnor, Jordan was the only one who stopped pressing on the issue after Magnus told him he didn't want to talk about it. 

Raphael continued to give him such compassionate glances that Magnus was relieved that Raphael had a family of his own and had lived on Baker Street since he was married with meliron.

However, Magnus only sister was the worst, Catarina. She hugged him at every opportunity, but it wasn't even the worst part. The worst part was when she had brought her children with her, Every time Magnus looked at them, he couldn't help but think of another boy who was probably alone and scared in an unfamiliar place. Magnus could only hope that losing both his father and himself hadn't erased all the progress Max had made over the summer.

Pushing the thought away, Magnus dressed and went downstairs. The house was in silence. Ragnor and Zachariach were probably still asleep. The others had not yet arrived.

Magnus didn't bother with breakfast. He was not hungry.

He put on his jacket and left the house.

The cold November wind made him shiver. He shoved his hands into his pockets, trying to warm himself, but to no avail. He was always cold these days.

Magnus walked aimlessly until he entered the local park. He walked for a while before sitting on the bench by a picturesque little pond. He looked at its still surface.

God, he wanted to stop feeling that way. Months had passed. Why couldn't he go on? Why did he still feel like he was drowning and didn't know the way?

Magnus closed his eyes.

The worst thing was not knowing.

Was Alexander okay? Was he still in a coma? Or was there ...?

Magnus bit his lip hard. He took out his phone and looked at it. I knew if I googled it, I would know. Alexander was important enough to be in the media if he ... if he ...

No, I didn't want to know after all. Not knowing was better.

"Hey, are you okay?"

Magnus's gaze snapped up.

There was a guy standing in front of him, frowning. He was probably about Magnus's age. Brown hair, beautiful blue eyes.

"Yes, I'm fine," Magnus said." Why?"

The boy cocked his head to the side.

"You seem very upset," he said, taking a seat next to him.

Magnus glanced at him. Although the guy didn't look like a pervert, it was early in the morning and there weren't that many people in the park yet.

The boy held out his hand.

"I'm Underhill"

Magnus eyed him warily before shaking him. It seemed rude not to, even if the guy seemed a bit strange.

"Magnus."

"Nice to meet you," Underhill said, looking at him seriously. "Why are you so upset? I could see how sad you were from across the pond."

Magnus should have told him to mind his own business.

But something about this guy seemed so trustworthy and friendly that Magnus ended up opening his mouth and telling him everything. Everything. He couldn't deny that it felt good to finally talk about it, to talk about Alexander without fear of being judged and pitied.

Underhill listened to him silently and didn't even interrupt when Magnus's voice faltered when he told him about Alexander's accident.

"I know it's stupid," Magnus whispered hoarsely, staring at the pond. " I was going to go anyway. We wouldn't have been together anyway. It never would have worked, even if he loved me. But-"

"You not stupid," Underhill said, his voice calm." I'm not from England. Last year I had to leave my boyfriend to go home due to some family problems. I thought I would never see him again. It was ... it almost killed me, but I wanted him to be happy without me. I wanted him to live a long and happy life, even if we never saw each other again. It is what you want for the person you love."

Magnus bit his lip. He hadn't even said the word love. "Was it so obvious?"

"Yes," Undrehill said. "You are very obvious. You should see your face when you talk about him."

Magnus made a face. If even a complete stranger could read it, he was hopeless.

"I wish I had never been to America," he murmured, staring at the surface of the pond.

"Are you sure about that?" Underhill said." Would you like to forget everything that happened there?"

Yes, was Magnus's knee-jerk response. He wished he could go back to being the person who left England half a year ago. The person who knew how to smile and do it seriously. Someone who was positive about life in general. Someone who didn't feel like crying at the slightest provocation. Someone who didn't wake up in the middle of the night, chest tight and eyes wet. Someone who had no trouble connecting with her own family. Who did not feel so detached. Cold. Hollow inside.

But.

But that person did not know what it feels like to have their heart Singing in the presence of another person. What it feels like to be in the arms of a man you were in love with. What it felt like to wake up in the safety of those arms as they exchanged lazy kisses and smiles in the morning. What it feels like to be the only focus of those hazel eyes.

"No," Magnus said, his throat so tight he could barely speak." I don't want to forget anything. I don't want to forget it."

Underhill just nodded. Fortunately, he had the touch of looking away as Magnus struggled to control his emotions.

"You said he's in a coma," Underhill said at last. " Is that due to a brain injury?"

Magnus could only nod.

Underhill hummed thoughtfully and said nothing.

They were silent for a while. It was surprisingly comfortable.

"I have to go. My boyfriend is getting impatient, ”he said.

Underhill at last, looking at the tall man who stood by the pond at a distance.

"Did you leave him to talk to me?"

Underhill stood up and gave him a crooked smile.

"You looked very sad. I couldn't just ignore you."

Magnus shook his head with a slight smile.

"You're so weird, friend."

Underhill laughed.

"Yeah, everyone says so." He turned to leave, but then stopped and looked at Magnus. " I know it's difficult to talk about things like that, but you shouldn't alienate your family. Since I chose to live with my boyfriend, I see mine very rarely, but knowing that I have his support makes a big difference. I'm glad I can be away from them without feeling alienated."

"Do not repent?"

Underhill shook his head, looking in the direction of his boyfriend with a soft smile.

"I left everything I knew for him, but ... I don't regret it. People are right when they say that home is where the heart is. I can live seeing my family only a few times a year. I don't want to be apart from him even for a few days."

Magnus bit the inside of his cheek hard.

"You know what, give me your number," Underhill said, handing him his phone. His face lit up. "We can send text messages and stuff!"

Waited for by Underhill's enthusiasm, Magnus stored his number on Underhill's phone.

"Babe, are you done teasing the guy?" Said a dry voice.

Magnus raised his head and saw Underhill's boyfriend approach them.

Underhill pouted.

"I was just making friends," he said, removing his phone from Magnus and sliding his hand into his boyfriend's hand. " Goodbye, Magnus. I'll write you a message!"

Magnus nodded with a weak smile and watched them go. Underhill boyfriend put an arm around him and gave him a kiss on the temple. They were laughing at something together. Happy Clearly in love.

Did a bad person make your stomach burn with jealousy? He had never thought he was a bitter and envious person, but at that moment, all he could think was that it was not fair.

It wasn't fair.

"Enough," he whispered out loud. It was not this bitter and sad person who felt sorry for himself and envied the happiness of others. It was better than that, damn it.

What did the people say? Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened.

Magnus got up and slowly walked towards the house, feeling a little better. A little more like him. No, he suddenly felt no less heartbroken. But one day, he would be ... fine. One day, the shattered pieces of his heart wouldn't seem so scary to touch. One day he might talk about Alexander with his family without letting out a sob like a big baby. Someday I might just type Alexander's name into Google and hit Search.

It was not that day yet.

It probably wouldn't be that day for long.

But he knew that day would finally come.

I just needed to try to improve.

"We thought you were still asleep," Catarina said when Magnus entered the house. She held is daughter madzie, in her arms.

"I just needed a little fresh air," Magnus said, pulling Madzie away from her and pretending not to notice her sister's surprise. He had been avoiding her children like the plague lately. "Hey sweetpee Look at you look more pretty like your mom ”he said, kissing Madzie on the cheek.

The girl laughed and Magnus's heart clenched.

Everything was going to be okay.

Finally.


End file.
